Gifts from a narcissist

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#1 Nov 11 - 10AM
ABC0311
ABC0311's picture

Gifts from a narcissist

I've always held details of my relationship with my narcissist. I tried to make it look a little better than it actually was. For example, I always avoided talking about his terrible gift giving. This is something that I am working on improving upon (I want to talk more and share and not be so private/secretive). His gifts give people the giggles! Some that really stand out:

(1) This year I got a bottle of Burt's Bees bathwash and a scrub brush (he ran to Walmart the night before and grabbed them and a HUGE bag to put them in). He didn't stay for my birthday party... of course he had better things to do with his precious time. He actually acted offended when I asked for the receipt so I could return it and buy cleaning supplies. After all, it was a great gift that took lots of time and effort.

(2) Last birthday: a gun. A Smith & Wesson pistol. I hate guns and I've always been very clear about this. I should probably sell it and buy myself a gift.

(3) Last Valentine's day: A bunch of candy from the counter of Walgreens and a card that he bought that day. He picked it up when he went to get "medicine."

(4) The Valentine's day before: A Pez dispenser that said "Prince." Not even "Princess". Again, Walgreens, last minute. He knew I wouldn't want anything big.

(5) Some Christmases ago: A mechanical dog toy from Walgreens that I made the mistake of mentioning while we were there "Isn't that neat? What will they think of next?"

(6) Our first Christmas together: A plant. I went to visit him. He was late. I got to hang out with his mom while he hurried out to buy me a PLANT. I got hell when that plant died for overwatering it.

But who is the biggest idiot? ME!!! How could I not get the him that he was just not that into me back then!!!

Nov 22 - 6AM
sickandtiredofit
sickandtiredofit's picture

More gifts - I posted this elsewhere, worth repeating

Presents? Those were some good posts. Money is always an issue with him. I have to pay for any “entertainment” I want for us or for our family. I plan and pay – that is the way it goes. “Money is tight.” He always had enough to take her to lunch or go out for drinks after work with his buds. Don’t forget about the strip clubs and the “Hooter’s” type bars where I am sure they pay extra just to look at the tight butts on the servers. Ack. Ass. Anyway, the first Valentine’s day, he did not get me anything because he thought it was a holiday for married people. Really? Because he bought a TV for the last girl for Valentine’s Day –he forgot he told me that, but he took it when he D&D’d her. The real reason he bought it was so he could watch football will she watched her shows. And by the way, our first Valentine’s Day we were married, he got me nothing and the girls at work all got matching red shirts because he thought it would be cute for them to all be dressed the same - I am sure they were two sizes too tight. I did not get one, by the way, and was told, “I thought it was a single person’s holiday!!!!” First Easter, he said he did not know people celebrated it at all. Ok – Christmas? He gave me things I casually mentioned would be nice for HIS condo… those cardboard dressers so I had a place to put my underwear. A mirror mounted on the back of the bathroom door and I think maybe some hangers or air fresheners or something. See how thoughtful he is. He listened and he bought it. Sometimes he gave good stuff – GPS, Digital camera – one year he bought his parents a flat screen and I got a gift certificate to the book store - $50. Weird. He just told me all of the furniture I have purchased over the past few years is crap and I have no taste. Actually, it was all I could afford and he would not let me have a credit or actually buy real furniture for us himself. I don’t have bad taste, I have little money left over due to his tight budgeting. All of my money goes to this family – this is intentional I am sure so I cannot save money to escape. His fear all along – which I only understand now after reading this board. I actually asked him, “If I make you so unhappy, why are you still here?” His only answers, I don’t know,” and “It is the right thing to do.” “I want a family” Yep, as your cover. Filled with hatred and anger tonight. So what am I going to do about it? I am getting stronger and smarter and I will get out.
Nov 20 - 7PM
Susan32
Susan32's picture

Bag of potato chips

I think this bears repeating. The ex-Psych professor never went out on a formal, romantic date. The most he could do was "share" a bag of potato chips. And pick a leaf of mint. Mint grew naturally on-campus (mint was also the sacred herb of Hades, the Greek god of the dead, go figure)
Nov 20 - 7PM
fooled no longer
fooled no longer's picture

between Briseis diamond

between Briseis diamond earings that were eaten out of her ears by the geese, and AC with the Narc stealing chocolate at the Emmys that he didnt eat. Oh what entertainment these A holes provide when you see through them!! Mine gave gave me a ten dollar made in China, lifetime guarentee umbrella that he bought in a Swiss Luxury shop for 150 bucks! I saw it on the reciept he gave it to me and asked me to ask for a refund when it broke on the first opening. I had asked him to buy me a flip camera in US, he brought back this instead. LOL!
Nov 14 - 8PM
Playedwithfire
Playedwithfire's picture

These stories are fantastic!

These stories are fantastic! I agree with the section of humour for the new site. Just when we feel like crap and need a pick me up. My fav to share would be the arguement after Mother's Day to which I question why he didn't think I should have received a gift, being the mother of his children and all... "but we needed brakes for the minivan." Nice eh? Playedwithfire

Playedwithfire

Nov 21 - 6AM (Reply to #56)
onwithmylife
onwithmylife's picture

playedwithfire

if you need a good laugh and I mean a good laugh, go to the NARCSPEAK section on this website, i had tears rolling down my face, what they say about interpretations are SO funny, let me know what you think, it is great!!!!!
Nov 14 - 2PM
Briseis
Briseis's picture

The exNarc was pretty good

The exNarc was pretty good with "gifts". I got nice jewelry, very nice perfumes and body care products that most women have a whole cupboard in their bathroom devoted to. Except me. Irish Spring soap and a washcloth, that's what I use, used and always will use. Or whatever decent smelling soap is on sale :D I even shaved my head for a couple of years while I was only working on the farm because having hair drove me crazy. I don't wear jewelry. He bought me one carat antique diamond earrings. My geese ate them right out of my ears. He enjoyed the feeling HE got buying me these expensive trinkets. He was a shopper, and would keep a salesperson involved with him for HOURS if he could, no doubt making himself looks SO good to them, so LOVING and devoted to his "wife" who he didn't even bother to marry properly. Oh yes, I do "own" three hand guns too, gifts he bought for me. I used to carry the 9mm Glock with me, loaded with hollow points, everywhere I went while I still lived on the farm after I got rid of him. Probably the only gift he wished he'd not bothered with :D
Nov 14 - 2PM
ACgirl
ACgirl's picture

I need to add to the fun of Narc GIFT GIVING!!

I was with the Narc for over 5 years. So let me just list out all the fun stuff. I need a laugh right now.... 1) On my birthday last year he said.."let me take you out to lunch. Isn't there some kind of strip mall around here where there might be food?" Ugh...STRIP MALL??!!?? We were in a fancy area by the beach and he was looking for a strip mall. Maybe he was looking for a 7-11!! 2) On my birthday 4 years ago he bought me flowers. No, not roses, he bought me a "growers bunch" and a small bag of candy. Let's keep in mind ladies that this man makes lots of money. I have no problem with cute little "growers bunch" flowers, but not from a man that can spring the $14.95 at any food store and get some "standard" roses. Nope, he opted for the $7.95 growers bunch and some Gummy Bears candy, which he knows I don't eat. 3) For my birthday this year, I told him a week before my birthday that my birthday was coming up in 5 days. His response was...."Oh, I'm so sorry I missed your birthday". Ugh... missed my birthday??!!?? My birthday hadn't happened yet. That was his way of having to avoid buying the "growers bunch" again, and of course, the Gummy Bears!! 4) Two years ago we went out to dinner to this expensive restaurant. I guess the menu prices surprised him that they were so high. While we were looking at the menu he said..."Gee, are you hungry? Would you like to split an entree?" Ugh.... SPLIT and entree??!! Well, I felt a little awkward, so I said okay. When the food came he ate it all up. Yep, he was hungry, and very cheap. Another time he said he was going to get me a nice gift for Christmas. He bought me a $35.00 nightgown from Victoria Secret (obviously a gift for his delight). Then, I noticed there was another night gown in the box, but clearly a summer gown. When I looked at it he said... "I meant to give that to you over the summer but forgot". Of course, I know now that he bought it for the OW, but never gave it to her. Don't worry ladies. About 5 months ago I had a shredding party and cut up both nities into tiny pieces. That felt damn good. Oh there are so many priceless stories. But let me end with this one for now... I invited the Narc to come with me to the Emmy Awards in 2008. On the place setting of every table were a box of expensive Godiva Chocolates. As we were walking back off the dance floor, as the evening was winding down, he saw that there were several boxes of chocolate sitting at what looked like tables where people might have gone home. He walked over to the tables and took 2 boxes of chocolate off the table. Keep in mind that this "rich" guy doesn't like chocolate. After we got back to my place he took the chocolate out of the limo and put it in his car. He didn't even give it to me. He gave it, I'm sure, to the OW. He was too cheap to buy her chocolate. And to boot, the boxes said "Emmy Awards" on them, so he even used me and Emmy Night as well as the candy to get the OW jealous. What a creep. I'm was feeling today like I was missing him. Thank God I wrote this. I miss him far less!! xoxoAcgirl
Nov 14 - 9PM (Reply to #53)
M
M's picture

oh my..

My last birthday with him I had to center it around his employee that was in town. And xhN got mad at ME because I told him what I wanted to do for my Birthday! I'm just waiting for the opportunity to reduce my daughter's exposure to him.
Nov 14 - 2PM
fooled no longer
fooled no longer's picture

I was laughing so hard

I was laughing so hard at this I nearly wet myself Posted Sun, 11/14/2010 - 09:11 I was laughing so hard at this I nearly wet myself I had to run to the bathroom, while I was sitting there killing myself laughing for 10 minutes, the narc was so concerned by my happiness and laughing he came and flung open the bathroom door and said. " What the hell is Going on??" like you would to a child who has just lit the carpet on fire. His indignation that I could be happy and laughing, was so huge, that I went into more fits of laughter and he stormed off. OMG LOL LOL LOL what freaks. Made my day, just like the toilet paper incident. I going to laugh more often, apparently it really p s him off. ! Go Girls!
Nov 14 - 6PM (Reply to #51)
helldweller
helldweller's picture

foolednolonger

Me too! You reminded me of this past Easter--the last time I saw the narc's family. We were at his brother's house, and his girlfriend and me were laughing our asses off about him in the bathroom, and he was pounding on the door, demanding to know what was going on. When we said nothing, he screamed, "Then stop laughing!" like a total maniac. I hate the woman now, but she said, "Oh, we shall, because God forbid anyone should be happy!"
Nov 14 - 9AM
helldweller
helldweller's picture

Gifts

The one good thing he gave me was a gold cross necklace that weighed about a pound. This was on my first birthday when he was reeling me in. I sent it back to him a couple of weeks ago and am now soooooooo sorry I did!
Nov 14 - 9AM
helldweller
helldweller's picture

Toilet paper

Ok, so my narc wouldn't even let me use his bathroom. I would go over to visit and would want to use the bathroom and he would say, "Honey, you live right next door. Just come right back!" He also had two bathrooms upstairs, one adjoining his room and one adjoining his foster child's room. He wouldn't let the child use his own bathroom or even take a shower in it. He had to use the narc's. The reasoning was that the house was an investment and he wanted to keep as much of the property value intact as possible. The child actually wet his pants once when I was there because he was waiting his turn to use the narc's bathroom. I told him to just use it but he was scared to death and wouldn't do it. Caught holy hell, then, for wetting his pants. Inconceivable.
Nov 14 - 9AM
helldweller
helldweller's picture

Gifts

Going to start catching up with this post. I love these gift posts. The OW and I had some fun talking about 1) his tiny penis and 2) the gifts he gave. I got shoes and knives for Christmas. She got sunglasses and a flashlight. I could go on. Keeping in mind that I didn't give him a present this year because he threw away all the gifts I gave him, including $3000 worth of courtroom sketches I had done for him by the Chicago Tribune's sketch artist, a jar of wishes I made for him with 365 notes inside, each with something on it that I wished for him that year, and a $300 sterling and lapis ring, he gave me a vase of red sweetheart roses (which I hate) for my birthday this year, with not even a real card but the enclosure card saying, "To the ONE I love" (this was after I found out he was probably cheating on me). I asked him if he could get me a mushy card, and he said, "No." The next day he came over and, without even saying hello, walked through the whole house, looking in every room. I said, "Can I help you with something?" He said, "Where are the flowers I gave you?" And I said, 'Um, on my nightstand in my bedroom." He went in and verified it, and then said, "Oh, ok." Yeah, narc, don't worry, I treasure them with my life. NOT!
Nov 14 - 5AM
Alibi_10
Alibi_10's picture

Birthday treat

I was told to take my birth certificate along to his house on my birthday - turned out it was because there was a restaurant nearby where you could get a free meal if you produced the certificate on your birthday :o( ... how special I felt. Birthday presents: A heart rate monitor that he didn't want any more and a book he had bought for himself (forgot that he had told me he bought it weeks before). All last minute, produced wrapping paper and asked if there was any point wrapping them up, because if not, he would save the paper for something else :o( I have never in my life met anyone so mean despite being far more wealthy than I. Mean with money and mean spirited.
Nov 14 - 2PM (Reply to #46)
Briseis
Briseis's picture

Holy CRAP Alibi!! I'm

Holy CRAP Alibi!! I'm laughing here too . . . but darkly. You sure do mean A LOT to him :( If you got a pet rat you'd get more love and graciousness :(
Nov 14 - 12AM
Scotchy71
Scotchy71's picture

Too funny

I've been reading through these amazing comments on gift giving of the narc and it cracked me up! The first time I flew out to meet mine....we were in the hotel room in the morning (at one of his conferences) and he went to get us coffee. He came back looking all proud of himself.."I have something for you"....don't be jealous girls..it was a cow calendar!!!!! Now I have issues with my sister and he knows she hurt me very badly years ago and he stated it was to remind me of her - nice huh? I'm laughing writing this....then, he comes to see me at xmas last year...I bought him t-shirts, souvenirs and a beautiful expensive watch engraved "to the love of my life"....he gets here, gives me an m & m luggage tag, a "real" cow hair iphone cover and hershey chocolates!!!!!! I'm serious! When I gave him the watch...he didn't look happy and said.."I don't wear a watch"....not exactly the reaction I was looking for. He didn't even read the engraving on the back. Now this guy has a government job...he even stole a pari of 3d glasses when we went to the movies..no wonder he has money...:)
Nov 14 - 8AM (Reply to #44)
MsVulcan500
MsVulcan500's picture

Wow Scotchie!

I am jealous of the cow calendar. I always got anti-wrinkle cream. Did we date the same guy? Mine also had a government job and a whole collection of 3D glasses. Also, at Whole Foods they would have the trays out with samples, he would always take at least 6. And he would have the cheese person cut him samples of every kind of cheese, then not buy any. No wonder he always said going there was a free lunch.
Nov 12 - 1PM
divorcedfromevil
divorcedfromevil's picture

IBS

Is this true? My exNh had IBS (so he says, but he had EVERTHING!), and then had a friend who worked in a dr's office steal meds for him because he was too cheap to buy them! Sorry! Tried to post under Susan's but it didn't work...
Nov 12 - 5PM (Reply to #42)
Susan32
Susan32's picture

Narcs and IBS

My Narc grandmother has a sad combination of IBS and Alzheimer's. The ex-P had an incredibly bland diet, with hardly any variety. Somehow he went from being model thin to paunchy between my sophomore and junior year. By the time of the D&D, I would've sent him to "Biggest Loser" in more ways than one.... lol.... I think the ex-P had IBS. He said he couldn't handle chocolate or coffee. Despite claims of being vegetarian, he was caught eating at a fast food place. The rumor was that as soon as he got off-campus, he ate lots of junk food. (At least somatic narcs see their bodies as temples to themselves and TAKE CARE OF THEM) During the D&D, the ex-P drank beer at the senior skit (but when it mocked him,he ran) and had a class on Shakespeare's Sonnets that involved LOTS of wine off-campus. As much as Ns/Ps project, I spent the D&D sober (now I know that alcohol would've aggravated the PTSD). Didn't help there had been rumors of him being a "mean drunk" since my freshman year. Alcohol probably aggravates IBS....
Nov 12 - 1PM
positivefuture
positivefuture's picture

the bathrooms & cell phones post

back maybe around june, there was a post about our N's controlling what has umm...going on in the bathroom, and their cell phone issues. it was seriously the most hysterical posts ever! i was at work cracking up at my desk. you want to laugh...try and find it :) i'll just say that my N always wanted to know how much toilet paper i was using; to make sure i wasn't using too much. he'd wait outside the bathroom door to question me about it. like really!! i've been wiping my behind for 48 years! then when i broke up with him he broke into my house and stole all my toilet paper. LOL!!!
Nov 13 - 11PM (Reply to #39)
Briseis
Briseis's picture

BWAHHHHHH!!!

Oh lord (wiping tears) that made me laugh so hard my dog started barking!!! So appropriate, really . . . now you know what is truly important to him. Toilet paper. Fathom that one :P A Narc and his toilet paper, reunited at last, no more WASTING it on YOUR hiney, the precious stuff. He may have lost YOU, but he has his toilet paper, all to himself now, and can use each little square so very carefully and thriftily. And feel the satisfaction without your interference.
Nov 14 - 5AM (Reply to #40)
Mariline
Mariline's picture

ahahahahahahhhh this is

ahahahahahahhhh this is hysterical!!!!!
Nov 12 - 6PM (Reply to #36)
onwithmylife
onwithmylife's picture

positivefuture, PLEASE read

I could not get over your post on the bathroom and his checking to see how much toilet paper you were using, it wasn't toilet paper for mine but he constantly bitched about a few strands of hair i left behind in the bathtub after I showered and constantly threatened me that he would not have me come over anymore if i did not pick up every last strand of hair, I should have taken him up on his offer!!He constantly checked on how much food i was eating, I am a light eater and one evening said I only came over for the"free food and sex".Right I drove an hour here and back just for that, what an idiot he is.When it came to his cellphone he was such a cheapskate, he had so little minutes, he got real angry at me if i left a message because it would cost him extra minutes to retrieve the message but when he wanted to talk watch out. i think back to what a FOOL I was to put up with all that CRAP, at least I can look back and laugh now!!!
Nov 12 - 6PM (Reply to #37)
positivefuture
positivefuture's picture

onwithmylife!!!

LOL, mine gave me a hard time about the hair too, and used to tell me i only came for the sex too (projection!!!!). i live 300 miles away from him! so i was like "look N, i can have sex at home whenever i want, i am an attractive woman, duh!." and he HATED when anyone left him a message because it wasted minutes (hmmm...did we date the same n LOL), but the funny thing is that i hated talking on the phone to him because it would just be him blabing on and on, cutting me off if i tried to get a word in, you know - so i would never answer his calls or call him, just text. it drove him crazy because of course that made him want to talk to me on the phone all the time. i also laugh at the crap i put up with; they are so ridiculous.
Nov 12 - 7PM (Reply to #38)
onwithmylife
onwithmylife's picture

POSITIVEFUTURE, ready for another laugh!?

This is all too funny for words, it feels soo good to hear what you had to say because I use to think it was just ME being crazy, I cannot believe you had the hair threats thrown at you and that you just came over for the SEX, what incredible EGOS or, fake ones, I should say they have. Hope you are sitting down because one early morning i was showering and washing my hair in the bathtub, so he was still in bed sleeping or so i thought, so I said to myself i am tired of hearing him bitch about my hair in the tub, and on the bathroom carpet, so I drag a chair over out of the bathroom and sit down to dry my hair before i know it he comes into the room from the bedroom and angrily asks me what i think i am doing and i calmly said drying my hair ,outside the bathroom, so you won't keep bitching at me.Like he is a father talking to a little girl, he tells me to get inside the bathroom and like a meek little girl I finish up the drying inside the bathroom, if that is not PATHETIC I do not know what is!!!I should have told him to FUCK OFF and left, wish I could do another take on that episode............!!!!!
Nov 12 - 2PM (Reply to #30)
mystwoman
mystwoman's picture

I'm glad I'm not the only

I'm glad I'm not the only one that had problems with this. Xnh used to count the squares of toilet paper I was "allowed" to use. Of course, I went ahead and ripped off whatever I felt like because my toilet habits are NONE of his business. Talk about a person with serious control issues. Grrrr. The other thing xnh did was to decide that, since his Mommy always made everyone put down the toilet seat lid EVERY time at her house, that's the ONLY way it could done according to xnh. I got really angry because his Mommy is NOT going to make any rules in my house, and I started leaving the lid up EVERY time (oh yeah, I'm a real rebel - lol). Xnh actually COUNTED how many times I left the toilet seat lid up, and then blasted me in a restaurant on Valentine's Day about it. What a sweetheart xnh was NOT! I should have started sticking the entire roll of toilet paper down the hole each time, left the lid up, and then flushed until the toilet flooded. It would have been fun to see how many times xnh counted THAT! lol. What a jerk!

______________________________________________________
God sometimes removes a person from your life for your protection. Don't run after them.

Nov 12 - 3PM (Reply to #31)
positivefuture
positivefuture's picture

LOL!!!!

that's hilarious!!!! what is with these guys??? and honestly, i cannot believe i let him question me on how much toilet paper i use almost every time i went. geez. they are nuts. mine was also obsessed with how much i ate. if i ate a little, he'd try and make a big deal how i wouldn't eat in front of our friends, of course he had to call me out and try and embaress me...if i ate a lot, he'd tell me i was a bad influence on him and the kids, and then proceed to tell his friends how much i eat. whatever! today, i am SOOOOO thankful i am done with him. i just feel happy, happy, happy. yesterday, was not so good :)
Nov 12 - 9PM (Reply to #33)
M
M's picture

their obession

with toilet tissue is bizzare. Mine refused to buy tp in bulk because he thought others would think he has issues regarding his bowel...
Nov 13 - 7AM (Reply to #35)
Used
Used's picture

tiolet paper

the narc stole his from every eating place or coffe shop..i used to wonder why he went in burger place empty handed and come out with a bulging carrier bag, i only relized one day when he was taking loads and loasd of serviettes and the manager came up and threw him out....how petty these narcs are.
Nov 13 - 6AM (Reply to #34)
onwithmylife
onwithmylife's picture

M

Mine did buy in huge quantities because HE did have issues with his bowels!!! too funny for words.................