Gifts from a narcissist

Presents? Those were some good posts. Money is always an issue with him. I have to pay for any “entertainment” I want for us or for our family. I plan and pay – that is the way it goes. “Money is tight.” He always had enough to take her to lunch or go out for drinks after work with his buds. Don’t forget about the strip clubs and the “Hooter’s” type bars where I am sure they pay extra just to look at the tight butts on the servers. Ack. Ass. Anyway, the first Valentine’s day, he did not get me anything because he thought it was a holiday for married people. Really? Because he bought a TV for the last girl for Valentine’s Day –he forgot he told me that, but he took it when he D&D’d her. The real reason he bought it was so he could watch football will she watched her shows. And by the way, our first Valentine’s Day we were married, he got me nothing and the girls at work all got matching red shirts because he thought it would be cute for them to all be dressed the same - I am sure they were two sizes too tight. I did not get one, by the way, and was told, “I thought it was a single person’s holiday!!!!” First Easter, he said he did not know people celebrated it at all. Ok – Christmas? He gave me things I casually mentioned would be nice for HIS condo… those cardboard dressers so I had a place to put my underwear. A mirror mounted on the back of the bathroom door and I think maybe some hangers or air fresheners or something. See how thoughtful he is. He listened and he bought it. Sometimes he gave good stuff – GPS, Digital camera – one year he bought his parents a flat screen and I got a gift certificate to the book store - $50. Weird. He just told me all of the furniture I have purchased over the past few years is crap and I have no taste. Actually, it was all I could afford and he would not let me have a credit or actually buy real furniture for us himself. I don’t have bad taste, I have little money left over due to his tight budgeting. All of my money goes to this family – this is intentional I am sure so I cannot save money to escape. His fear all along – which I only understand now after reading this board. I actually asked him, “If I make you so unhappy, why are you still here?” His only answers, I don’t know,” and “It is the right thing to do.” “I want a family” Yep, as your cover. Filled with hatred and anger tonight. So what am I going to do about it? I am getting stronger and smarter and I will get out.

I think this bears repeating. The ex-Psych professor never went out on a formal, romantic date. The most he could do was "share" a bag of potato chips. And pick a leaf of mint. Mint grew naturally on-campus (mint was also the sacred herb of Hades, the Greek god of the dead, go figure)

between Briseis diamond earings that were eaten out of her ears by the geese, and AC with the Narc stealing chocolate at the Emmys that he didnt eat. Oh what entertainment these A holes provide when you see through them!! Mine gave gave me a ten dollar made in China, lifetime guarentee umbrella that he bought in a Swiss Luxury shop for 150 bucks! I saw it on the reciept he gave it to me and asked me to ask for a refund when it broke on the first opening. I had asked him to buy me a flip camera in US, he brought back this instead. LOL!

These stories are fantastic! I agree with the section of humour for the new site. Just when we feel like crap and need a pick me up. My fav to share would be the arguement after Mother's Day to which I question why he didn't think I should have received a gift, being the mother of his children and all... "but we needed brakes for the minivan." Nice eh? Playedwithfire

The exNarc was pretty good with "gifts". I got nice jewelry, very nice perfumes and body care products that most women have a whole cupboard in their bathroom devoted to. Except me. Irish Spring soap and a washcloth, that's what I use, used and always will use. Or whatever decent smelling soap is on sale :D I even shaved my head for a couple of years while I was only working on the farm because having hair drove me crazy. I don't wear jewelry. He bought me one carat antique diamond earrings. My geese ate them right out of my ears. He enjoyed the feeling HE got buying me these expensive trinkets. He was a shopper, and would keep a salesperson involved with him for HOURS if he could, no doubt making himself looks SO good to them, so LOVING and devoted to his "wife" who he didn't even bother to marry properly. Oh yes, I do "own" three hand guns too, gifts he bought for me. I used to carry the 9mm Glock with me, loaded with hollow points, everywhere I went while I still lived on the farm after I got rid of him. Probably the only gift he wished he'd not bothered with :D

I was with the Narc for over 5 years. So let me just list out all the fun stuff. I need a laugh right now.... 1) On my birthday last year he said.."let me take you out to lunch. Isn't there some kind of strip mall around here where there might be food?" Ugh...STRIP MALL??!!?? We were in a fancy area by the beach and he was looking for a strip mall. Maybe he was looking for a 7-11!! 2) On my birthday 4 years ago he bought me flowers. No, not roses, he bought me a "growers bunch" and a small bag of candy. Let's keep in mind ladies that this man makes lots of money. I have no problem with cute little "growers bunch" flowers, but not from a man that can spring the $14.95 at any food store and get some "standard" roses. Nope, he opted for the $7.95 growers bunch and some Gummy Bears candy, which he knows I don't eat. 3) For my birthday this year, I told him a week before my birthday that my birthday was coming up in 5 days. His response was...."Oh, I'm so sorry I missed your birthday". Ugh... missed my birthday??!!?? My birthday hadn't happened yet. That was his way of having to avoid buying the "growers bunch" again, and of course, the Gummy Bears!! 4) Two years ago we went out to dinner to this expensive restaurant. I guess the menu prices surprised him that they were so high. While we were looking at the menu he said..."Gee, are you hungry? Would you like to split an entree?" Ugh.... SPLIT and entree??!! Well, I felt a little awkward, so I said okay. When the food came he ate it all up. Yep, he was hungry, and very cheap. Another time he said he was going to get me a nice gift for Christmas. He bought me a $35.00 nightgown from Victoria Secret (obviously a gift for his delight). Then, I noticed there was another night gown in the box, but clearly a summer gown. When I looked at it he said... "I meant to give that to you over the summer but forgot". Of course, I know now that he bought it for the OW, but never gave it to her. Don't worry ladies. About 5 months ago I had a shredding party and cut up both nities into tiny pieces. That felt damn good. Oh there are so many priceless stories. But let me end with this one for now... I invited the Narc to come with me to the Emmy Awards in 2008. On the place setting of every table were a box of expensive Godiva Chocolates. As we were walking back off the dance floor, as the evening was winding down, he saw that there were several boxes of chocolate sitting at what looked like tables where people might have gone home. He walked over to the tables and took 2 boxes of chocolate off the table. Keep in mind that this "rich" guy doesn't like chocolate. After we got back to my place he took the chocolate out of the limo and put it in his car. He didn't even give it to me. He gave it, I'm sure, to the OW. He was too cheap to buy her chocolate. And to boot, the boxes said "Emmy Awards" on them, so he even used me and Emmy Night as well as the candy to get the OW jealous. What a creep. I'm was feeling today like I was missing him. Thank God I wrote this. I miss him far less!! xoxoAcgirl

I was laughing so hard at this I nearly wet myself Posted Sun, 11/14/2010 - 09:11 I was laughing so hard at this I nearly wet myself I had to run to the bathroom, while I was sitting there killing myself laughing for 10 minutes, the narc was so concerned by my happiness and laughing he came and flung open the bathroom door and said. " What the hell is Going on??" like you would to a child who has just lit the carpet on fire. His indignation that I could be happy and laughing, was so huge, that I went into more fits of laughter and he stormed off. OMG LOL LOL LOL what freaks. Made my day, just like the toilet paper incident. I going to laugh more often, apparently it really p s him off. ! Go Girls!

The one good thing he gave me was a gold cross necklace that weighed about a pound. This was on my first birthday when he was reeling me in. I sent it back to him a couple of weeks ago and am now soooooooo sorry I did!

Ok, so my narc wouldn't even let me use his bathroom. I would go over to visit and would want to use the bathroom and he would say, "Honey, you live right next door. Just come right back!" He also had two bathrooms upstairs, one adjoining his room and one adjoining his foster child's room. He wouldn't let the child use his own bathroom or even take a shower in it. He had to use the narc's. The reasoning was that the house was an investment and he wanted to keep as much of the property value intact as possible. The child actually wet his pants once when I was there because he was waiting his turn to use the narc's bathroom. I told him to just use it but he was scared to death and wouldn't do it. Caught holy hell, then, for wetting his pants. Inconceivable.

Going to start catching up with this post. I love these gift posts. The OW and I had some fun talking about 1) his tiny penis and 2) the gifts he gave. I got shoes and knives for Christmas. She got sunglasses and a flashlight. I could go on. Keeping in mind that I didn't give him a present this year because he threw away all the gifts I gave him, including $3000 worth of courtroom sketches I had done for him by the Chicago Tribune's sketch artist, a jar of wishes I made for him with 365 notes inside, each with something on it that I wished for him that year, and a $300 sterling and lapis ring, he gave me a vase of red sweetheart roses (which I hate) for my birthday this year, with not even a real card but the enclosure card saying, "To the ONE I love" (this was after I found out he was probably cheating on me). I asked him if he could get me a mushy card, and he said, "No." The next day he came over and, without even saying hello, walked through the whole house, looking in every room. I said, "Can I help you with something?" He said, "Where are the flowers I gave you?" And I said, 'Um, on my nightstand in my bedroom." He went in and verified it, and then said, "Oh, ok." Yeah, narc, don't worry, I treasure them with my life. NOT!

I was told to take my birth certificate along to his house on my birthday - turned out it was because there was a restaurant nearby where you could get a free meal if you produced the certificate on your birthday :o( ... how special I felt. Birthday presents: A heart rate monitor that he didn't want any more and a book he had bought for himself (forgot that he had told me he bought it weeks before). All last minute, produced wrapping paper and asked if there was any point wrapping them up, because if not, he would save the paper for something else :o( I have never in my life met anyone so mean despite being far more wealthy than I. Mean with money and mean spirited.

I've been reading through these amazing comments on gift giving of the narc and it cracked me up! The first time I flew out to meet mine....we were in the hotel room in the morning (at one of his conferences) and he went to get us coffee. He came back looking all proud of himself.."I have something for you"....don't be jealous girls..it was a cow calendar!!!!! Now I have issues with my sister and he knows she hurt me very badly years ago and he stated it was to remind me of her - nice huh? I'm laughing writing this....then, he comes to see me at xmas last year...I bought him t-shirts, souvenirs and a beautiful expensive watch engraved "to the love of my life"....he gets here, gives me an m & m luggage tag, a "real" cow hair iphone cover and hershey chocolates!!!!!! I'm serious! When I gave him the watch...he didn't look happy and said.."I don't wear a watch"....not exactly the reaction I was looking for. He didn't even read the engraving on the back. Now this guy has a government job...he even stole a pari of 3d glasses when we went to the movies..no wonder he has money...:)

Is this true? My exNh had IBS (so he says, but he had EVERTHING!), and then had a friend who worked in a dr's office steal meds for him because he was too cheap to buy them! Sorry! Tried to post under Susan's but it didn't work...

back maybe around june, there was a post about our N's controlling what has umm...going on in the bathroom, and their cell phone issues. it was seriously the most hysterical posts ever! i was at work cracking up at my desk. you want to laugh...try and find it :) i'll just say that my N always wanted to know how much toilet paper i was using; to make sure i wasn't using too much. he'd wait outside the bathroom door to question me about it. like really!! i've been wiping my behind for 48 years! then when i broke up with him he broke into my house and stole all my toilet paper. LOL!!!