update :)

LOL here below are examples of what good friends are :) Everyone is happy for you to be feeling good, after a long time of misery. BUT they aren't willing to leave it at that because they care about what happens to you. Now I'm gonna say something I've been biting back ever since you met this new young man: DON'T you dare hurt him. LOL!!! The last thing on your mind, I'm sure. But honey, he sounds like he's in such a different league than you. You are a woman of the world, and he sounds like a he was raised conservatively and religiously. Does his family know about you? I mean, REALLY know about you??? If this is serious, hon, you have to get real honest here. You are still living with your exNarc, still dependent upon him for shelter and other things. Have you shared this with the new guy? I mean seriously told him the truth? Probably not (at least, ALL of the truth). Yet you are lovesick and sleepless at night over him. He probably hasn't the slightest clue as to who YOU are, in all your glory. And that is important, for him to make an informed choice. You've already gotten expert advice on all the other stuff (about leaping from a Narc relationship that isn't quite over into another one). I can't say it any better. But there is another side to this, too. I don't know this kid, but my life experience is what has me wondering about what I'm wondering about :D I care much more about YOU, though. I care about you being whole and healthy and confident with yourself. About reaching your goals. About your maturity as a woman. What this kid looks like on paper should be the least of what attracts him to you, otherwise, you are using him for another Sugar Daddy and that is just not right. You need to learn to take care of YOURSELF, without a man to do it for you. That's not fair to the guy. Even if he wants to do it for you, it's not fair to him. My sister found herself a man who totally takes care of her. She barely lifts a finger. She doesn't work or pay a single bill. She jokes that their daughters are "farm princesses" cuz they don't lift a finger either. But . . . she is dependent on him, for everything. She is unhappy with that. She is not happy with herself, even though their marriage is a good one. She is still a little girl in so many ways. So "unrealized". She's brilliant and gifted, if the IQ tests and college scholarships she got offered are any indication. But she sold out to be "taken care of" and now she doesn't have her own money (though my BIL is generous), she doesn't have her own car, she doesn't have her own LIFE because she didn't want to be responsible for herself, and found herself a man willing to work his ass off to give her and their girls a lazy fat and BOOOOORING existance. I feel pity for her!! And really sorry for him. They love each other and have beautiful children. BIL works on his farm and he is happy, because he's doing something. Human beings need to be useful, to have meaningful work and an amount of independence and personal activities. My sister has none of that, and if something happened to my BIL she would be TOAST. She's have plenty of money, but she wouldn't have the slightest idea what to DO, how to make it work, how to cope or manage a THING except perhaps the dishwasher. You'll do what you are going to do, and I'll love ya anyway :) But I'm not talking out of my ass, here. And neither are these other good FRIENDS of yours here on the board.

I am so happy for you :). Isn't great feeling to think of sb else then N? :)

I'm glad your feeling good, keep your eye out for red flags, illigitiment children, or tempers..lol Keep posting, I worry with the gun under the bed... Is he out?

Happy for you, Fierflie! Just be sure your eyes are wide open. Enjoy what life brings you. Enjoy this because you deserve it. As you said, we all do and when the timing is right, it will happen for us. Just don't rush anything, k? xoxo

I'm really pleased to hear you sound so happy, just wish you'd put the brakes on a little here. Don't go rushing anything, this guy is still very new to you. I'm concerned with how you are saying you are lovesick already. This is what happens when we get with a narc remember. Hell I'm not saying this guy is a Narc, I know nothing about him, but falling in love again so quick, after everything you have just been through, and are still GOING through, concerns me. Take your time, slow things down and enjoy getting to know each other. Keep a tight reign on your feelings here, I'd HATE to see you hurt again :( Sorry to put a damper on things, I'm worried about you is all x Oh and one last thing, remember how you felt when you first met the N? He will have made you feel HE was a nice kind man, these guys are GREAT at putting on an act. This is why we all fell for them in the first place. Now we are all WISER hopefully. Take care sweetheart x

Amen :-) very happy for you little Fierflie! You deserve it!! But only, pay attention! ((((hugs))))