Losing focus on No Contact
Losing focus on No Contact
We need to remember that "No Contact" is for the purpose of healing in recovery and not used as means to punish the Narc or teach him a lesson. This can NOT be done! He is not teachable. He is the Instructor, The professor, the head honcho. The program that he has devised in his head is solid and it works, Right?. I know it worked on me, i fell in hook, line and sinker....He has tested this program over and over and has his mastery down to a science. When something is working for you do you change it? Hell no! He will NOT take your No Contact stance and think "wow, i really need to change the way i am treating this person because i have hurt them and i want to keep them in my life", thats how the normies think. He is not normal, he is disordered! He is thinking more along the lines of this, "man (I) better figure out a way to get my ass back in good graces, what if (I) need to get laid tomorrow, what if (I) get lonely and need my ego stroked, what if (I) want to do something Friday night and (I) dont have someone to do it with, what if (I) need emotional or financial support or someone to cook and clean for me...etc... Look at those (I's)!
It is all about him! No U's in a narcs world unless they are projections. U owe it to me to be my friend and be nice to me. U should never get angry at me, tell me your unhappy, have expectations or deny me in any request i demand. U should just do as i say and not as i do.
So do you think now that it is worth risking your recovery and setting yourself back weeks, months years for a person that only has his interest at heart? Do you want a give and give relationship? Or a give and get one. Every time you have caved and made any contact, yes even one word contact is contact, you have put the focus back on him and diverted it from where it should be, "YOU". Hes happy as a pig in shit when this happens and your left standing there once again with that dazed and glazed over look, with obsessive thoughts and analyzing every little aspect of this ABUSIVE relationship. Here we go again...Your back on the merry go round.
So this "No Contact" is for the purposes of regaining your strength, Re grouping your thoughts to focus on you as opposed to him, and finding a new you so that you can live a healthy and happy life in the future. You owe this to your self. You are the most valuable creature that exist now. Would you use the HOPE diamond to mash your potatoes with? I doubt it. You are the HOPE diamond. Its time you start treating yourself like the treasure that you are.
Lots of Love...xoxo
This is the topic that
only one way to go...Forward (tm?)
Why I DON'T want him
Susan, Im going to make this
only one way to go...Forward (tm?)
you look at that list and
only one way to go...Forward (tm?)
It's not punishment, it's protection
you look at that list and
only one way to go...Forward (tm?)
Betty thanks, you said it
Im so proud of you Miss M.
only one way to go...Forward (tm?)
betty
really??
Thank you Lynn...xoxo Hope
only one way to go...Forward (tm?)
This is so right on
yes yes yes goldie....he is
only one way to go...Forward (tm?)
this needs to be bookmarked
i will ask Lisa if i can
only one way to go...Forward (tm?)
I see him everyday
"I think people heal faster
only one way to go...Forward (tm?)
betty2020 and all...
I am so sorry honey that you
only one way to go...Forward (tm?)
Moonshine
thanks ..faithinthefuture
moonshine
I have children too
Playedwithfire
Dear M
My god, Moonshine,
I wish...shaynasmommy..
Moonshine
Thanks M
moonshine
Moonshine
Betty