The worst thing he said to you

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Jul 10 - 3PM (Reply to #145)
NoNarcingZone
NoNarcingZone's picture

Poor Byrde

...for which you should've replied: "Hmph. I'd feel totally at ease attending YOUR funeral. Down right elated even. Sorry about your mom. =( Your N's response would've called forth a SMACK!

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"Soldier, don't confuse your rank with MY authority!"

Jul 10 - 3PM
helldweller
helldweller's picture

scoop

what a dick
Jul 9 - 4PM
positivefuture
positivefuture's picture

so many to choose from!

my nose was not so good men stare at me because they probably are trying to figure out if i am a transvestite i should stand in front of the mirrow, slap myself, and tell myself how lucky i am to have him i am a little bitch and a little C*!t. i am a bad influence on his kids i am lazy and old he had sex with me the first time because i wanted him to do me - he wasn't planning on having sex with me. (oh...it was a favor for me LOL) how awful it would be if someone broke into my house and killed my dog. i am needy, scary, intimidating, psycho, crazy hmmm...i guess that's enough for now (LOL)
Jul 9 - 4PM (Reply to #140)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

Positivefuture

OMG! I am so glad you got away from that horrible man! Your future will most definitely be much more positive now. xoxo
Jul 9 - 5PM (Reply to #141)
positivefuture
positivefuture's picture

agreed!

thank you!!! for this board, your book, everything. this actually helps so much. its amazing how you take it all on until you discover there are others...and then realize its not you, its him.
Jul 10 - 12PM (Reply to #142)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

Positivefuture

Exactly, it's not you, it's him! That's so important to understand. I'm so glad you found us! xoxo
Jul 5 - 4PM
awayfromhim
awayfromhim's picture

As I sat here and asked

As I sat here and asked myself "what's the worst thing he ever said to me?" I was flooded with words, sentences, rants, etc. from the N. Man he certainly had an arsenal at the ready for any situation. I'm amazed there was still space left in his brain for anything else. Of course, so many insults would start with "no offense…" and then, of course, he'd be offensive. Jerk. So, I told myself to just chill and think of the ONE worst thing. It was: *whining* I don't want a divorce. :-)
Jul 9 - 5PM (Reply to #138)
Amy
Amy's picture

hahahaha!

Now THAT is funny!
Jul 2 - 5AM
SBlaze86
SBlaze86's picture

I fell into a severe

I fell into a severe depression for the first time in my life in the summer of '09 and confided in him alone about how I was struggling to find the meaning in life. He told me verbatim: ' Don't take this all wrong... but I don't want to hear about all your problems and suicidal thoughts.' I knew that a normal person, especially one whom you were dating who presumably cares for you would not respond this way. Every time I think of him, I think of that phrase and wonder why it took me so long to emotionally detach myself from someone who was so incomprehensibly inhumane.
Jul 2 - 5AM (Reply to #136)
NancyM
NancyM's picture

SBlaze*

^Hi there, welcome aboard. Have you read much on the site? I think the paradox of the whole thing is in your last sentence, trying to comprehend how someone could be so incomprehensible inhuman, especially because we loved them. If you have managed to emotionally detach then you are probably doing fairly well at this stage I am guessing?

Nevergoback

Jul 1 - 2PM
rainbow1
rainbow1's picture

are you kidding me?!

Yesterday when I told him that I hate him and that me makes me so mad he said: "Yeah but you love my cock so we are all good" then continued to say: "You love mine! hahah! so who are you f*cking now a days anyway?" when I told him that is none of his business he just said "nice" like he didnt care in the first place. I hate him!

_______________________________________________
"dont let yesterday take up too much of today"

Jul 2 - 6AM (Reply to #134)
naivenomore
naivenomore's picture

Next Time

Rainbow1, I hope there isn't a 'next time' for this creep to sling these comments at you, but in the event that there is, tell him you're f*&(&g someone with a much bigger cock! Then go NO CONTACT!
Jul 1 - 2PM (Reply to #133)
rhiannon
rhiannon's picture

That first one sounds SO

That first one sounds SO like something my N would say.
Jul 1 - 2PM (Reply to #128)
Amy
Amy's picture

Disgusting!

the arrogance! And actually, if you gave him a name of some guy, he would flip out.
Jul 1 - 3PM (Reply to #129)
rainbow1
rainbow1's picture

EXACTLY! Especially because

EXACTLY! Especially because we know the same people! He was just wanting me to admit that I slept with someone he knows (he thinks me and his friend fool around). And he probably was wanting me to ask him who he has been with so he could make me jealous! Who does he think he is?!

_______________________________________________
"dont let yesterday take up too much of today"

Jul 10 - 1PM (Reply to #132)
almostlydia
almostlydia's picture

he thinks he is the cat and

he thinks he is the cat and your the mouse. There are only two things that can happen to the mouse: she barely escapes with her life or not.

almostlydia

Jul 1 - 3PM (Reply to #131)
Amy
Amy's picture

next time...

Just say "depends on my mood and what day it is". lol!
Jul 1 - 3PM (Reply to #130)
better off
better off's picture

God

God
Jul 1 - 2PM (Reply to #121)
Scoop
Scoop's picture

Rainbow

Oh god that has just reminded me ... when i was talking to him about getting back togther afer the first d&d i said something like "i think you need some help with youre mood swings " and he said "way to get my cock back , if you want my cock back youre going the wrong way about it "....ewwww ..the thoughht of his horrible penis anywhere near me is HORRIBLE..yuck yuck yuck ..
Jul 1 - 2PM (Reply to #123)
better off
better off's picture

You should have just

You should have just laughed, and said, that little thing??
Jul 1 - 3PM (Reply to #124)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

Rainbow

Follow Betteroff's advice next time. It's brilliant: "Laugh and say, that little thing?" LMAO
Jul 1 - 3PM (Reply to #125)
rainbow1
rainbow1's picture

hahah yeah and then I would

hahah yeah and then I would get the Narc Rage! If I would have laughed at him I would have heard it! Also, if I would have given him names I would have been told how horrible I am! Theres no winning!

_______________________________________________
"dont let yesterday take up too much of today"

Jul 1 - 3PM (Reply to #126)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

Rainbow

You're right, there's no winning with these guys. The only option is to disconnect from them and establish No Contact.
Jul 1 - 3PM (Reply to #127)
rainbow1
rainbow1's picture

That is my plan now. After

That is my plan now. After he made me feel like crap today I realized that it really isnt putting myself through this over and over again. I keep going back or contacting him hoping that the outcome will be different or that I will get some sort of valadation. The issue is that once he puts on the "nice guy" act I never walk away like I should and leave him hanging. I stick around until I am devalued and then say to myself "how did this happen AGAIN!? I was supposed to walk away this time!"

_______________________________________________
"dont let yesterday take up too much of today"

Jul 1 - 2PM (Reply to #122)
rainbow1
rainbow1's picture

Scoop

I know! They really think that they are God dont they?! Some mornings he would wake me up with slapping me in the face with his "cock" and would say "suck it so that I have a good start to my day!" This is so gross and degrading! And the horrible part is that I would do it!

_______________________________________________
"dont let yesterday take up too much of today"

Jul 1 - 2PM
better off
better off's picture

It's not relevant

The most "shocking" thing I think he said to me was in discussing his conversations with a therapist (he never liked to refer to him a therapist or counselor though, it was always "the guy he was working with" or some kind of euphemism like that)... and he was always talking about how he was trying to get his life figured out, and deal with his past stuff with his parents,and how he wanted to move forward after his disastrous marriage, etc.. I finally asked him what he had told "the guy" about us, upset because I figured he would say I was part of some midlife crisis and he should end everything with me... but no. He never told him about me. "It's not relevant." Ohhhh... I'm not RELEVANT to your life, even though I was your soulmate, and meeting me changed EVERYTHING, and gave you hope and courage and faith in yourself you'd never had before, and taught you what it meant to love after being stripped of your feelings for decades, and discover the spiritual side of yourself, and blah blah blah blah blah blah. Why would he bring that up with "the guy"?? That didn't mean anything. That was when I think I finally could really see that this relationship was never what I thought it was. The cognitive dissonance was still so overwhelming, but that was the beginning of the end.
Jul 1 - 2PM (Reply to #119)
better off
better off's picture

BTW, that doesn't hurt like

BTW, that doesn't hurt like it used to, because I came to learn/realize that his entire "therapy" was about making himself the good guy and his wife the evil crazy witch... he would NEVER have told "the guy" (that still makes me laugh) that he had been conducting his own affair, because he was the poor victim of everyone else.
Jul 1 - 9AM
littlestbird
littlestbird's picture

this one is my fav!

"When will the *fact* that I love you be enough for you." *insert dramatic musical number here*
Jul 1 - 9AM
littlestbird
littlestbird's picture

4 of them.

when i first showed signs of being human rather than an imaginary flawless muse: "I...I just don't know about this. You aren't the woman I fell in love with. You are going to really have to start kicking some ass at life soon or...I don't know if this is going to work." ____________ When I was upset and weepy: "Ugh, turn off the lights, stop crying and go to bed -- no, I will not hug or hold you, I can't stand to look at you like that. Why would I hug you? You are so unattractive right now." ____________ Blank lizard eyes: "I am telling you now, I can't be there for you. I won't." ____________ When I was hitting myself, because I felt so alone when he was giving me the cold shoulder/silent treatment, and treating me like an unforgiving father would a disappointing daughter... I hit myself until I was weak and tired, crawled into bed and mumbled how it hurt. He said: "I don't care. I honestly don't care that it hurts. I hope you learned your lesson."
Jul 1 - 2PM (Reply to #108)
better off
better off's picture

Yes, their backwards

Yes, their backwards reaction to your pain or tears is the reddest flag of all.