It costs us something -- this freedom.

19 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 Apr 11 - 5PM
ForeverFreedom
ForeverFreedom's picture

It costs us something -- this freedom.

Someone wrote it on this site recently. The idea that it costs us something to be free. Free of the psychopath.

It's really true.

I'm learning that it costs me something to stand up for myself and say "No" or "No Thank You" or "I won't settle for that".

It costs me to listen to my gut, to my intuition. It's scary. It can be expensive and inconvenient.

I'm negotiating to buy a house. It seems like one of the sellers is a psychopath. Okay. So what. I didn't sign up to do a business deal with a psycho. But --- surprise! A psycho! He wants to try to push me into a deal that doesn't work for me. So, whatamigonnado? Am I gonna cry about it? Am I going to 'stay in the marriage for the children' over it? (that was a little analogy, ya know).

No. I said what I have to say: This is my boundary. This is what I can do. This is what I can't. Take it or leave it.

It might cost me some cash to walk away from the deal. Oh well. Cost of doing business. IT WILL COST ME MORE TO STAY IN A DEAL THAT DOESN'T WORK FOR ME. Most importantly, it costs me my integrity.

I'm just learning this stuff.

Anybody else out there learn this too? On your path forward from recovery from psychopathic nonsense?

That thing I had - where I was afraid to do or say because I didn't want to make so&so MAD or UPSET????? F THAT! That was NONSENSE!!!! WHOOOOOO RAISED me to be like that???? OH YEAH.... my psychopathic mother!!!! Good -- TARGET in TRAINING. And to be fair...a psychopathic culture (do I get agreement on this?).

See -- I was a perfect target for psycho ex. When things weren't workable -- I STAYED -- because to GO would have been inconvenient, etc. I'd say to him "this isn't workable" and he'd say "you don't think anything is workable". So, I twisted myself into some sort of broken girl & here I am. Almost fixed and put back together. Standing up for myself even though it's inconvenient.

Maybe the psycho house owner will do the deal in a way that suits me and I won't have to walk. He's not completely in charge. There are other owners of this property. Maybe the deal will fall apart. Who knows.

I'm choosing to think of it In God's Hands. God hands. Intuition. Listening carefully. Not twisting myself into something else. Faith.

Apr 13 - 4AM
losing the battle
losing the battle's picture

FF

Apr 12 - 5PM
brinamarie
brinamarie's picture

1000% relate to your

Apr 12 - 5PM (Reply to #15)
redflagswaving
redflagswaving's picture

Goodness, so true

Apr 12 - 5PM (Reply to #16)
brinamarie
brinamarie's picture

"In the past I would tolerate

Apr 13 - 3AM (Reply to #17)
Janie53
Janie53's picture

Red & Brin

Apr 12 - 5PM (Reply to #14)
AllGiggles
AllGiggles's picture

I think we deserve to be alil

Apr 12 - 7AM
ForeverFreedom
ForeverFreedom's picture

Psychos cause problems and waste time, but he world still turns.

Apr 12 - 5AM
IncognitoBurrito
IncognitoBurrito's picture

Bump!!

Apr 12 - 4AM
redflagswaving
redflagswaving's picture

well said

Apr 12 - 5AM (Reply to #10)
Janie53
Janie53's picture

Red

Apr 12 - 3AM
Portia
Portia's picture

Popularity is too expensive!

Apr 12 - 7AM (Reply to #7)
ForeverFreedom
ForeverFreedom's picture

Portia, I love what you said.

Apr 12 - 8AM (Reply to #8)
Portia
Portia's picture

Forever Freedom - It's like living in Narcworld!

Apr 12 - 2AM
Brit
Brit's picture

Yes you get my agreement

Apr 11 - 11PM
sick_of_being_s...
sick_of_being_sick_and_tired's picture

You go girl! Hold your

Apr 11 - 9PM
Im_always_fine
Im_always_fine's picture

Flip'n awesome post!

Apr 14 - 1PM (Reply to #2)
JCat
JCat's picture

In a word, because my

Apr 14 - 3PM (Reply to #3)
ForeverFreedom
ForeverFreedom's picture

this is a great distinction 'that's YOUR problem'