NO CONTACT CAN BE PAINLESS
NO CONTACT CAN BE PAINLESS
I never thought I would write a topic on NC, the one thing that Barbara tells us over and over and over, its like if we had done what she said, we could say, oh ok and never be here again ha ha That is the POWER of NO CONTACT.
Things started to decline rapidly during the past two months with mine, until one day I just quit replying and listening to any and all messages, and he has also quit calling for quite some time now. Strange thing happened I started to feel better, I have not cried one tear, I feel liberated, free, and during these three weeks of no calls from him now I pray he NEVER calls me again. I know for some of us (and me included at one time) its very hard to stay NC, we miss them is often said, we cant believe we meant nothing to them we say, how can they just throw us away like that knowing how much I loved him and gave to him.
We get a huge dose of truth and reality when they stop calling us but "we have always known these truths to be evident" We tried so hard to gain their love, let me rephrase that, We tried so hard to gain the love of a disordered person. In many cases we wanted a psychopath to love us, call them what you want, lets just call them highly disturbed that will cover the whole spectrum of what they are.
I looked around these past three weeks for the first time seeing my reality. How many of us since little girls have dreamed about Prince Charming? I know I did. Ladies we must leave prince charming in the text books, that is a fairy tale and so was the man he pretended to be. Its not so bad giving up that dream. Real life consists of sacrifice, compromises, give and take, growth, change. Its not some whirlwind romance that we hope will rescue us from something, or grant our every wish.
I still get my pangs, and urges but I know I cant turn to him for what any of my dreams are, what I got from him was severe abuse and tolerating abuse just to keep some pipe dream alive of a certain image I had of someone who was nothing but a fraud will get me nowhere. So I say to myself Look within yourself Cynthia you are the answer, he is NOT. You know the facts, they are no closer to offering you anything substantial than a sewer rat. They are horrible vile creatures. They can pretend and charm all they want but I have no desire to talk to someone that is not human in their behavior. They lack the very qualities that are essential for humans to survive. Do not be fooled by the man behind the curtain, what you see is NOT what you get always remember that. You see them living their life without a care in the world, sorry that is what YOU SEE, that is NOT what it is.
Here is a little story I wanted to share with you about a woman who lived with a sociopath for three years . Beautiful, brilliant, gifted woman. Her boyfriend comes home and wants to have sex, only one problem his penis smells of condoms and another woman. Guess he thought he stuck it in a rose garden, she finally got her "sign" This is how they treat good women. Lie, cheat, betray, abuse, and I want to contact someone of that character? NO NO NO NO. What we are missing is NOT THEM, it never was, what we are missing lies within ourselves and I learned that lesson the hard way. When we find what is missing I guarantee you NC will be easy and you will be free.
As Barbara has mentioned
closure and betrayal
RIGHT ON
Funny the things we glean from these stories!
Gleaning Submission & Control
nice
He is projecting hard core
whoremonger!
NC removes the spell
narcmagnet
be strong
Don't respond
michvegas
you can do it
It does feel liberating.
Thank you for reminding us of this
the 'reason' its so difficult....
NC
Cynthia
NC
I needed to hear this!!
Yes it IS difficult. I want