Denial and confusion
Denial and confusion
I just read in a previous topic:
Narcissists hurt you to make themselves feel good. Because you don't count. You are a bug. You exist to be used by them to make themselves feel good. Since stomping you makes these mental three-year-olds feel mighty, they stomp you. And boy do they then feel grand".
I must still be in denial, but it seems so amazing to assimilate something like this from someone who tells you he really loves you and has never felt anything similar for a woman before ..
What I do know is that at the beginning, if he said something that hurt me, I would tell him and he would say sorry and apologize immediately, but when things started changing I felt like I was talking to a brick wall. My comments would just bounce back ...and nothing would get through.
He would either act defensively (do you want to fight about this ?), play the innocent ("I dont think you can look at my eyes and tell me honestly I said those things with the intention of hurting you") or he would just ignore my hurt (and the day after not even mention it) or dismiss my comments with a joke. Other times he would say it is easier to "demonise" me because it is a good distance regulator for you. The more I got out of him was "I dont want you to suffer" (but then he didnt ask me what he could do to avoid it)..
It left me feeling so frustrated ... Like there was no communication. But why didnt this happen at the beginning ? (he must have had empathy then if he knew he had hurt me and then reacted accordingly !).
I think this is what leads to so much confusion. And its incredible how much pain you can accumulate inside of you. I think it is the grief for that fantasy or image of the wonderful man he was at the beginning, and the beauty of what could have been.
And still I am so naive, when we had those wonderful moments and he told me they were the happiest moments of his life, he did seem sincere. And I cant help seeing his "suffering" part and that wounded child inside ... He said he really wouldnt mind dying.
Is this normal ?.
confused
Confused
Agnesmurphy 17
You are confused because he
I agree with Carolyn
totally confused
confusion and denial
totally confused