I Think I Had a Narc Lite
I Think I Had a Narc Lite
I am 75 days NC today. In reading through all the posts, I don't see very many of my XNBF behaviors. I'm not a professional & not really too concerned about labels, I just know how he wronged me. Throughout our 2 years together, he never belittled me, struck me, called me names or treated me unkind. He ingratiated himself to my family & was "loving" to my mom, often inviting her to go places with us. I also attended all of his family functions. He told me that he would take me anywhere & he did.
I liked the fact that he didn't speak ill of his 3 former wives. He seemed to be a man of his word, always punctual, responsible and kind. At first he showered me with love & affection.
I actually approached him at a dance. I just begun dating after 4 years. My instincts told me that the 3 men I had dated prior to him were not right & so I ended the relationships. He seemed to respect me & my boundaries
I see now the cycle of idealization & DD. However, I really do believe that he was trying to make this work. He would tell me that he felt a lot of guilt & shame but wouldn't elaborate. I could see it was painful for him.
He did rage at me 2x but apologized & said it would never happen again & it didn't. If something bothered me, I would tell him and I think he honestly tried to make it right.
We separated because I confronted him with his aloof behavior towards me. He had gone to our winter home & we were apart for 6 weeks. He became very distant then. I knew in my heart it was over before it was over. He told me he thought he might have loved me but it had changed & didn't know how to tell me. I went NC after that phone call.
In his apology letters he said he didn't know how to tell me & didn't want to hurt me. But he also pointed out how I didn't do things to his liking. Preserving his false self I suppose. He could not be alone. I don't doubt he's a Narc, but is there such a thing as a civil narc?
I will never speak to him again or take him back. Just tryin to figure it out
He made you unhappy; then bye
He recognized that something
NPD is a spectrum
"Some times I think this is
Good Point Maya
76 Narc-Free Days!
TUVM NMA Echo