I Think I Had a Narc Lite

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#1 Apr 4 - 11PM
Anonymous (not verified)
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I Think I Had a Narc Lite

I am 75 days NC today. In reading through all the posts, I don't see very many of my XNBF behaviors. I'm not a professional & not really too concerned about labels, I just know how he wronged me. Throughout our 2 years together, he never belittled me, struck me, called me names or treated me unkind. He ingratiated himself to my family & was "loving" to my mom, often inviting her to go places with us. I also attended all of his family functions. He told me that he would take me anywhere & he did.

I liked the fact that he didn't speak ill of his 3 former wives. He seemed to be a man of his word, always punctual, responsible and kind. At first he showered me with love & affection.

I actually approached him at a dance. I just begun dating after 4 years. My instincts told me that the 3 men I had dated prior to him were not right & so I ended the relationships. He seemed to respect me & my boundaries

I see now the cycle of idealization & DD. However, I really do believe that he was trying to make this work. He would tell me that he felt a lot of guilt & shame but wouldn't elaborate. I could see it was painful for him.
He did rage at me 2x but apologized & said it would never happen again & it didn't. If something bothered me, I would tell him and I think he honestly tried to make it right.

We separated because I confronted him with his aloof behavior towards me. He had gone to our winter home & we were apart for 6 weeks. He became very distant then. I knew in my heart it was over before it was over. He told me he thought he might have loved me but it had changed & didn't know how to tell me. I went NC after that phone call.

In his apology letters he said he didn't know how to tell me & didn't want to hurt me. But he also pointed out how I didn't do things to his liking. Preserving his false self I suppose. He could not be alone. I don't doubt he's a Narc, but is there such a thing as a civil narc?

I will never speak to him again or take him back. Just tryin to figure it out

Apr 6 - 8AM
Janie53
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He made you unhappy; then bye

Apr 6 - 12AM
Renegade
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He recognized that something

Apr 5 - 2PM
Maya (not verified)
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NPD is a spectrum

Apr 6 - 12AM (Reply to #5)
Renegade
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"Some times I think this is

Apr 5 - 2PM (Reply to #4)
shock and awe.some (not verified)
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Good Point Maya

Apr 5 - 1AM
no more an echo
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76 Narc-Free Days!

Apr 5 - 3PM (Reply to #2)
shock and awe.some (not verified)
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TUVM NMA Echo