blocked, called cops on N
blocked, called cops on N
I don't know if any of you remember me, I was extremely destroyed by my narc encounter: brief recap: 48 years old, left career, sold home, to move to be with who was so obviously my perfect mate!
7 weeks later, kicked out, financially cut off(he makes excellent money, and we had agreed I would not work). I have no family, and only "email friends" - who could only do so much. I was destroyed like never before, and I have toughed out a lot of things. I've been in this destroyed state for a full year now. Made a few friends here, but it doesn't replace having a family to go for real help.
Anyway, I wanted to tell you all that I got that job interview, the one it took 3 weeks for me to fill out the application (I have been really depressed an non-functional this year...)! It will take me far from N (who, of course, has never left me alone... even when I've tried so hard to go NC (around 100 NC failures and counting)), and is a wonderful job in my former career.
I've unfortunately been having trouble functioning normally (as I have all year), and progressing on this interview - I should be all ready by now, and have barely achieved anything (I have to give 3 lectures for interview!!)
As the clock ticks closer to my interview date, I realized that I had to step up the NC, or I was going to lose my one real chance to escape my year-long hell...
So, I deleted my email account, sent new account to future hopeful employers. I called the phone company, and paid the extra bucks to get them to block his number, and then when he (of course) immediately comes to my home (he is usually "too busy" if I actually need him to come...), although I did briefly let him in, still thinking perhaps he would say something "nice" - rather than upset me, which has been interfering so much with my studying. He of course merely said things that made me cry and be angry... I picked up the phone after 20 minutes of this (he was just standing inside the door) and I called 911. Once he heard I was really on the phone (I had already placed an order that he not be allowed to trespass, and would be arrested) with the police, he skidaddled fast.
So, he was not arrested. But, I'd never called before.
I don't think he'll risk coming again. But I spoke with the police when they came over, and next time, I will just let him ring and ring the doorbell, and I will sneak a call to 911 and hope to god this guy gets hauled off to jail...
This was all yesterday, and it was the strongest actions I had ever taken to really end it between us, forcing him to leave me alone. It was just, I knew I would blow the interview, if I didn't. I still may blow the interview, as I only have a little over two weeks to prepare, and have barely gotten anything done, I'm just not the same person I used to be, but especially his daily aggravations, would ruin the studying preparations completely.
I am writing you all today, instead of him!!
P.S. I also went on anti-depresants starting about a month ago - they have really helped me (except on days my N would call and be mean, then I would turn into helpless, sobbing jello on the floor for the next day...).
I think in my case, I've struggled with life-long depression and an abusive childhood and overall difficult life. My N destroyed me so completely, I feel like some on the board didn't get how bad off I was, and how unable to help myself.
Prozac and xanax helped me a lot. I am not recommending this for everyone, but maybe if you also have a history of depression, and are freakishly non-functional and destroyed by your N, this may be a thought. I NEVER thought I would take antidepresents (can't spell, sorry), yet I eventually became so suicidal, that it was them or my killing self - so I gave them a try.
If you are still reading. I am hoping there will be some energy and good wishes out there for me to pull off this interview I have coming up, it's a full two days long, and I have to give lectures!!!
Thanks all,
iwanttoheal
Stop
LOL...I'm sorry...he's a
love this
Only a Narcissist would
Hahaha...a cartoon.... He is
Absolutely. BLOW THE DOORS
Oh my.....
Who cares how semi-famous he
thank you
I am so sorry
P.S. from iwanttoheal
Got to ask...
Yes!
Best of luck
Gloria Allred
praying for you
FeFe
thanks
You're not weak
FeFe
You are not weak
you are strong!