Having difficult time

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#1 Jan 23 - 8AM
Fearless
Fearless's picture

Having difficult time

I left my relationship with my narc on Thanksgiving eve.
I found out about his other woman the Wednesday before and was on the receiving end of the most shocking and devastating lack of regard for human life I have ever experienced. He treated me as if I was nothing. The seven years we had been together was all a lie. I wasn't aware that a person could be so cold. He literally was like a light switch. One day he loves me with all his heart and will never leave me the next day he's a complete stranger acting as if I was simply garbage he was throwing away.

That night was the most traumatic night of my life and I experienced the worse pain anyone could ever imagine. I wanted to die...not commit suicide...but just be dead because I honestly felt it would be the only way to rid myself of the intensity of the pain I was enduring. I am doing better but still have a wave of pain come over me every now and then. My mind tells me to move on, he's not going to change, he's a sick person and not capable of truly loving anyone. Of course seven years of me loving him doesn't go away overnight even knowing he's a fraud. I just wish there was a way to totally wipe out my memory of him and the time I invested in this relationship.

It is still shocking to me how someone can be so cruel.

Jan 23 - 1PM
newlifeway
newlifeway's picture

I feel for you

I am so sorry I am going through much the same, except my husband is having a baby with this Other Girl. It is totally shattering, and worse he moves on like this is business. I feel like I never mattered, the children, our lives, were all disposable. I am so sorry. I am so thankful we can all come and share here and get support. be blessed
Jan 23 - 1PM (Reply to #10)
Fearless
Fearless's picture

my heart goes out to you

Newlifeway...my heart sunk when i saw your reply...that just adds one more dimension to your pain and suffering...I AM TRULY SORRY...i can just feel your painreading this....its like living in a nightmare. Please know i am going to say a special prayer for you and hope you will feel joy soon.

FeFe

Jan 23 - 12PM
Fearless
Fearless's picture

date correction

I believe this post was one of my first ones and I probably posted it on Lisa's Blog by mistake...has apparently been reposted in the proper place. It was good to read it again to see just how much better I am since that day. Obviously wasn't doing well because I didn't have sense enough to notice where I was posting...HA! Have a great day everyone...stand tall and smile. It helps. -fefe

FeFe

Jan 23 - 11AM
Lookonthesunnyside
Lookonthesunnyside's picture

fearlessfemale, Im so sorry

fearlessfemale, Im so sorry to hear what you went through. I can relate to feeling that coldness and it is shocking. Its like the minute their bubble is burst and theyre exposed as being scum they just turn off any emotion or compassion they seemed to have before. As hard as it is, keep reminding yourself that it has NOTHING to do with you. He will do the same thing to the other woman. He's not a moral, healthy person. I cant imagine dealing with that after 7 years. You have absolutely every reason to feel upset, shocked, and in pain, so dont be hard on yourself. You will get through this and the pain will subside, as hard as it is to see that now. Its great that you come on here and are doing things to get yourself the support you need. All my love to you! I hope you're feeling better xo
Jan 23 - 12PM (Reply to #7)
Fearless
Fearless's picture

Thanks sunnyside

thank you honeysunny! I am doing better. Much better than that particular night for sure. I have been managing as good as can be expected. My son is an incredible source of support...(sad that I have to lean on him for something this horrible). He motivates me and tells me to stay focused on my health and my new wonderful life. I am so thankful for him...true gift from God. I am extremely thankful for all of the support from the wonderful people on this site. It means a lot to have support from people who are knowledgable about this type of PD/Narcs. You can gain quicker support and understanding without having to stop and explain the disorder. It's difficult for some people to grasp because they simply can't imagine someone being as cruel as these men can be. Seems inhumane. Anyway, I am thankful for you and hope you find all the joy that God has in store for you. -fefe

FeFe

Jan 23 - 9AM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Join the club.. Evil at it's

Join the club.. Evil at it's best.. Just like a switch.. If this was easy none of us would be here .. The tools to heal..NC, read, thearpy, antidepressants, stay here with us and try a one on one with Goldie.. Hunter
Jan 23 - 12PM (Reply to #4)
Fearless
Fearless's picture

Thanks Hunter

...for the advice. I am doing all that you suggest but not taking antidepressants. Taking St. Johns Wart to help prevent going to "depressionland"...been there before and I know I wouldn't survive going back again. Dealing with the relationship with a**hole is difficult and now struggling very hard to keep from getting depressed is a lot. But I am FEARLESS and FEMALE. good combo. I would love to eventually talk to Goldie. Have Lisa's book and have completed all the assignments...some very difficult but effective. And this is one club I wish I didn't have to join...but I am here and I will learn and grow from it. Not being ungrateful...just wish I didn't have to be here for pain recovery... I'm sure if you look up the short definition for Narcissist it would read: EVIL at it's BEST take care. -fefe

FeFe

Jan 23 - 12PM (Reply to #5)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

FeFe .. I like that... I wish

FeFe .. I like that... I wish you weren't here either.. Hunter
Jan 23 - 8AM
IncognitoBurrito
IncognitoBurrito's picture

Dying

Dying is the easy way out. I know, I've tried. What's harder, is to endure through the b.s above ground. I don't know how Ns/Ps can be so cruel, either. I, too, wish I could wipe the slate clean of all those memories. Maybe with more time and distance, it'll ease up. We can't rush our own healing. Lest, we wind up unprepared when we are once again, face to face with another N in our path.
Jan 23 - 9AM (Reply to #2)
Fearless
Fearless's picture

59 days

59 days and counting NC. It is getting better and i am grateful i didnt hit the bridge. Very glad you didnt die as well. That just shows how much they beat down our spirit...to think we would consider taking our own lives because of the torment of these sorrya** men. I have considered buying him a giftcard for Narcissism evaluation for Valentines...but no, that would break my NC streak and even though he doesnt agree with this...my life and freedom from his hold are far more important than him!

FeFe