I_am_free's Story
I_am_free's Story
Who knew an adult could be this sly and shrewd
I am 27 years old...had worked myself up slowly over the years and was divorced and have a 4 year old daughter. I met this NARC at a holy gathering which I attended with my family every Thurs (I am moslem).
Initially there was something I did not like about him..always felt he was boastful but he definately managed to convince me otherwise. Spose I should have trusted that initial gut feeling but then again my prev marriage was loveless and I was craving someone just to hold me and be nice to me and he did it perfectly. We started out as friends and within a week of speaking he told me he was inlove with me (he left his 2nd wife of 7 years) and we were meant to be. He told me everything I so badly wanted to hear. That first day we spoke he told me he had bad news and the dr had told him he had brain cancer. Since I am quite gullable I fell sorry for him and wanted to take care of him. From brain cancer is went to leukemia then colon cancer yet no hospital had his records for chemo or any trace of him having cancer. Yet he managed to get R130,000-00 out of me which he would say was for his debt or his chemo bill etc. You are probably wondering why I was so stupid but by this time I was head over heels cos to me this man was perfect...its true what they say "too good to be true". He made his ex wives sound horrible and claimed his family had disowned him. He also said he was 31 but his ID said 37..which he claimed was due to some home affairs 'error'. My parents and friends all warned me but to me this man was perfect and I just wanted happiness. I got married quietly without my parents knowing and we lived together for few mnths when I found out he was still busy with his 2nd ex wife. I left and he managed to swirl me back again with sweet words and promises. By this time I lost everything, financially I was broken. I was dependant on him and scared to leave cos I feared my parents would not take me back since I had hurt them so much. We met in June 2010 and it is now Dec 2011..when I went back we lived in a room in his brothers house and I was isolated from every1 I was close to. He would cry and I would feel bad...realised now he was an excellent actor. I mean who can pull off being in severe cancer pain? Magically the cancer dissapeared once the funds in my acc had dried up (he had a secondary card to my acc too).
He kept pushing to have a child with me and I now realise it was a way to keep me with him...since even his 2nd ex wife has a protection order against him so she does not even want him anymore...since I am of no financial benefit to him...suppose he hangs onto me so I can shower him with the love and affection till he finds sum1 else to supply this. I left him 2 weeks ago without saying anything...I have no money, no home and luckily my parents are standing by me. I can now salvage whatever relationship/friendship I had destroyed thanks to him. He says he wont divorce me and lies to this day. Since day 1 it was lie on top of lie..he made me believe I was crazy and is now going around telling every1 im crazy and spreading alot of lies about me...but then again he did the same thing to his 2 prev wives so why am I any different?
Its hard everyday. Mentally I know I made the right decision to leave cos he was so close to destroying me...but emotionally I struggle. I try to take each day as it comes and hope that soon I can get over this. It took him 1 1/2 years to mess up my life and leave me with nothing. His family is aware he has a lying problem and I suppose I cant explain to them that he is a NARC. He is now emotionally blackmailing me and I am so tired of his threats to kill himself which I know he will never do. He plays on every1's feelings...and I still cant believe I meant nothing to him. That charming man I met dissapeared and was replaced with this emotional, depressed and miserable man who constantly needed me to hold his hand. All his lies are now coming out and its shocking at times...and hurts alot. Its even more hurtful that he will simply find the 4th wife and do the same to her.
This is only a summary of the last 1 1/2 years and I hope I can get over this and move forward. Im glad I foudn this forum..understanding exactly what type of person I was dealing with makes it a little bit easier
Thank You for the support
It took him 1 1/2 years to
Welcome.. Knowledge is
Thank You Hardtobelieve. Your
I understand.