It seems that the stuff that won't fit into my sub-conscious goes into my body. And there it lurks. I can find it when I meditate, and I work on releasing it back out into the cosmos through breathing and chanting. It works well, and I depend on the experience of being present to keep me sane, rested, and invigorated.
Being the observer, dis-identifying with the ego, understanding that I have a choice to suffer or identify with love instead, these benefits alone are worth the price of the book. His message is not unique, as truth is truth, but his approach worked for me very well, and I re-visit that book often.
Studying A Course in Miracles this past year has helped elevate my consciousness also. It is a thought system based on our choice to be with our ego or be with the holy spirit instead. It works for me, as identifying with my ego keeps me lost and unhappy. Choosing a higher purpose is so liberating and correct, I just don't want to go back to the way I used to be. It isn't the sick people I encounter in life that define me, but my reaction and choices I make that define me.
In regards to the Narc, no contact and no response equals no reaction, and therefore a choice for me and my higher self.
ds
I agree, emotions do show up in the body! Yoga has been my saving grace...I have been doing yoga for many years and I know it has helped me in my healing this past year. It is at the very least good exercise, and at the highest level, emotionally liberating. Yoga helps to keep your heart open and your head held high...to keep emotions from becoming "stuck" in the body. Have you tried yoga, in addition to your meditation and chanting?
Even though I had red flags and gut feelings it didnt start falling apart until the 13th year, now looking back I can see so much more....but I wonder sometimes, geez I wonder how many lies and what really happened all that time.
I keep going back to Done Sourcing's words and reminding myself I don't want to know. The realizations that do pop up are hard enough to reconcile and release. Ugh... xoxo
what you don't know doesnt serve your highest good, so let it go
I already know more about what the N did than I want to know. I thank God he didn't go out of his way to make me aware of his antics...even though I know he only kept things from me not because he cared to spare my feelings but because he knew I would be disgusted and leave him if I knew what he was really up to. He did triangulate me although he wasn't overt about it...except for one occasion, when he was mad at me for being mad at him...he told me this, explained his motivation to avenge himself by pissing me off. And you only need to see that once, to draw the conclusion that this is their preferred method of handling their anger and resentment towards you...and towards all women including OW. The N I was with was misogynistic, and he did a great job of hiding that from me, because he had to wear that mask to keep me around as supply.
So, knowing what I do know...I am able to accept it and be honest with myself about what I am aware of...because I am far enough away from the situation to not be seriously hurt by it. It is "safe" for me to know these things now, and good for me to know them as it reminds me to never look back!
As it is with researching NPD and trying to "understand" the N, there is a saturation point where you do not need to know any more, quantity-wise, as you have already learned enough, quality-wise.
I have found it helpful to pray and ask for only that knowledge which serves my highest good and the highest good of others. I refrain from curiosity about OW or about making sense of things that the N did made my intuition ping during the relationshit, because they are no longer relevant...the things sent to me as a warning sign are not needed anymore, and I trust that God and my higher self will only lead me to that which serves my highest good. I am open to seeing and accepting the lesson now...I don't need to be sent "pain" to wake me up to it!
1996-2010, marriage and a kid. I thought she was just passive aggressive, over sensitive, and immature. She had some good qualities, and I always thought I could trust her. I was wrong. And the flags were there for a long time. The last 5 years were very difficult, but we had a kid and I didn't want to break it up.
It is good for me now as a single man. and my relationship with my child is better than ever. The narc has gotten worse since we split, but that is her problem now. I don't have to help her, I don't feel responsible for her problems anymore, and I know she is disordered and that she will never get much better. Too bad for her and her victims, I don't play anymore.
What she did that I don't know about is not important anymore. It has been tough, I have resisted moving on, I had a lot to process. I feel acceptance now. I still get angry sometimes, and depressed, but overall my problems are mine to handle, and I need her for nothing.
ds
for every lie.
id have alot of money lol
what an ass
oh well i am actually laughing about alot now
even my own pain
seriously that in itself is a good thing
i feel ..lighter
alive....it feels good
yes i have shit moments god do i ever
but its only been 8 weeks for me nc
and i am amazed with myself
not breaking it
It seems that the stuff that
DS
you know what freaks me out
Nomoredenial
what you don't know doesnt serve your highest good, so let it go
1996-2010, marriage and a
if i had a dollar