I don't want to become bitter and old!
I don't want to become bitter and old!
I had oral surgery today and home alone with stitches in my mouth. I find that when I am not busy, my mind still goes to a very dark place with what happened with exN. I really want to be happy again and am planning a trial move soon to a sunny place. it is just so damn depressing here in the rain and my social life here sucks even though I have good friends. Also, I feel my depression has probably repelled people away...but I can't seem to fake happiness. I am so far from happy now and I know I must break this rut soon! the only solace I had was my sport here and it turns out my coach is an abusive immature screaming unsupportive possible Narc - so there is really no peace for me here. My business is a giant headache that used to be challenging but now is a grind...I can't sell it because it is not stable enough now but i am leaving anyway and will run it virtually and take some losses probably. All signs say it is time to leave and try to make a better life for myself.
I just can't date yet and I am being harassed by men daily on the dating site. I am thin with long hair and these idiots just go crazy for those props even though I am in my 50's (my photos make me look younger than I am because you can't see the wrinkles and dings and dents very well and I have a young sporty look). I hope I heal enough to be able to even date no less ever love again...The thought of someone touching me is still yucky...
Its so hard knowing the road is so long to recovery. I need a little TLC and encouragement. I must go now and ice my swollen face...thanks to all on this site for letting me ramble.
Much more upbeat today!
I know what you mean
In that dark place...
Recovery
I
3rd That
yeah i hear u. I feel