Possession
Possession
I am free of him in every way, except in my mind. It's like a demonic Possession. I can go for several hours now, focused on work and interests, but then he pops up as a thought. It's random, unpredictable. I've become calmer when this happens. I can think more rationally about what the thought brings. But, I very much want to purge him completely from my head. It's his version of Squatters Rights, unwanted now, I just want to exorcise the last remnants, the vestiges, out of the dark corners where he lurks.
I am re-oriented to my own reality. It was waiting for me. I'd been hanging out in his reality too long. Between two realities, really. Who he was and who I am. They were in conflict, as if a battle of wills was taking place. I would become mentally exhausted working out these demons - heart v head, reality v fantasy, lies/manipulation v truth/honesty. I have renewed appreciation for my values, what I stand for, what I hold sacred. All those good, honorable concepts that really do have application in day-to-day life. So many had been neglected - honesty, integrity, truth, loyalty, respect, kindness. Little things that add up to big things. The only things, really, that count.
I look at myself and see how I was becoming with him and it doesn't seem real to me anymore. It seems like a dream, like it happened to another girl. It's starting to get fuzzy around the edges. I feel like a trance is ending. I'm waking up again, but this time I'm waking up for good. Shaking off the fogginess and seeing the light. Feeling good about myself in all my imperfections.
It truly was as if I were being possessed.
I'm not sure that the
Squatters rights indeed!! He
Yes!
You just described my own
History
Oh Dema! I guess you are so right!
Losing Me
That's interesting -
Combination