I'm back- ugh
I'm back- ugh
I've had a few bad days. I can't say every day is bad or good anymore. I'm here and he's still on my mind.
I spoke with the my friend from the boat dock where Michael my narc is. She told me that he has had the doctor there a few times now. This is the same lady that he cheated on with me multiple times. It ripped me up to hear it. I was at work and actually went to the restroom and threw up. I tried to keep my composure as best i could the rest of the day, but once again could only concentrate on him. It finally hit me that it's truly over and there's never any going back. There's no more chances and no going back. Here I am 8 months out of this and I'm still on this roller coaster. I haven't dated and the thought makes me sick. I told Hunter that part of me still feels like Michael's possession because I'm not dating. Do any of you have that feeling? It feels crazy.
Well, anyway yesterday wasn't as bad even though he is on my mind constantly I am just continuing on but feel a deep pain. I feel scars are on me but no one can see them. I almost wish they could be seen so more people would understand.
My ex husband just balled me out last night for not dating and moving on. He doesnt get that I can't yet. I just can't imagine it yet. I feel bad for not being ready. I feel it's sounds crazy too. It's been long enough I should be further along maybe. I try and try and keep faking it until I make it. Fake it until you make it! It's what I tell myself every day.
Sorry I didn't respond to you all right away.
Oh happy Im so sorry. Dont
hi Happy
Hi happy, at 8 months I was
oh happy im glad you wrote
Happy, people recover at
Hap, I'm sorry you're
spinning
Happy
Welcome back sweetness
Happy
Happy
HAPPY1