Questioning everything

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#1 Oct 21 - 8AM
malloryforest
malloryforest's picture

Questioning everything

I am having a really hard time right now. Since yesterdays meeting with lawyer, I am beginning to question my reality. Maybe STBX isn't bad, maybe he just had an affair and engaged in behavior that is typical of infidelity. Maybe it is me who needs to just accept stuff. I don't know. I know everything he did to the kids and I. Is his behavior just "normal" for a man who wants to leave his family because he fell in love with another woman? Am I demonizing him?

Oct 21 - 1PM
Scoop
Scoop's picture

The trouble here is men do

The trouble here is men do some times fall in love with other women and sadly they do leave but a decent man would try as hard as possible to leave with kindness and grace , he would make sure you had everything you needed , its tragic when this kind of thing happens but a good man would bend over backwards to smooth the path for you . Your narc has been a compleat arse about all this . He is doing progection with a capital P . please stay strong . we are here for you and we dont doubt you for one millie second . Think back to this conversation you had with him Him "so i got this chicken right , it was frozen ..." You "WHAT?" Im sorry because i know this is serious but really who is the normal one in your relationship ?YOU ARE !!!!!! Big Love Peru x
Oct 21 - 12PM
itreallyisabouthim
itreallyisabouthim's picture

What the heck did the lawyer

What the heck did the lawyer say to you?
Oct 21 - 11AM
4joys (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

You are accepting his

You are accepting his reality, Mallory. STOP! Yes, he really is that bad! It's not you! Don't just accept this, Mallory. What can you do to wake yourself up? What have you done in the past that helped?
Oct 21 - 10AM
Susan31 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Mixed emotions

Mallory total abandonment, disregard, undeterred attitude, self-absorbed, smug, hurtful, conceited, non-empathetic, argumentative, false, insincere, excessively rude, disrespectful, publicly humiliating, arrogant, vain, fretful, sporadic, remorseful, insideous, mocking, irresponsible, purposefully insensitive, all-pervasive, omnipotence, superiority complex, persecutory, delusional, abstract, fractured, disjointed, lying, fake, contradictory, unbalanced, blame-wielding, attention-seeking, big-noting, (constant) validation-seeking behaviour is not only abnormal- but is socially irresponsible & morally unethical let alone -interpersonally exploitive. 'Normal' people do not, can not, would not project those behaviours and without a second thought for the souls they potentially destroy in their path. To include their own children to the list of those they left behind... Is truly dispicable. Its not reasonable or acceptable behaviour and the quick reminder is this - would YOU treat someone like this? You already know the answer to that one. Sounds like you are panicking which is understandable. You have this entire forum to lean on and try to draw strength from. So, of matters of the heart - yes New doors can open while Old doors close. But 'normal' people such as you.. are incapable of the kind of conduct such as his. We cannot comprehend it. While we are left shattered they have moved fwd. to New Supply #602 (Barbara's pyscho-boy created profile cards for his bevy of Ho's?). Don't lose sight of the reality Mallory- It's not you. He is.. Not normal-Not normal-Not normal-Not normal-Not normal-Not normal... Once the final discard has occurred, and then the realization sets in...Is it like a grieving process? To finally surface? I just CANNOT imagine having a child/ren with an N. That must be HELL for anyone? To be dealing with your own dreams shattered..Let alone the pressure of our childrens emotional needs and adjustment-issues as well? There's a song here-"How am I supposed to breathe with no air?"..No one deserves the treatment of an N. I hope you dance xx
Oct 21 - 1PM (Reply to #2)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

snap out of it

(Barbara's pyscho-boy created profile cards for his bevy of Ho's?). No that was someone else. Mallory - you do this every few weeks. are you kidding??? All the stuff you got together for the lawyer? Pull it out and read it. Now. go back over this board and read your old posts from 3-4 months ago. go look at a frozen chicken 'nuff said. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Pathologicals only discard the best, most precious of gems of people... not the worst. They despise the strong, principled, decent & honest. Their discarding of you is then their highest commendation of your worth!" - A.V.