all used up's Story
all used up's Story
I am extremely embarrassed to admit this, but I need to get it out. I had an "affair" relationship with a man for 14 months. I was in a dead end marriage and contemplating divorce when I met this man. Ironically, he was also in a dead end relationship that he had been in for six years. Our relationship very quickly became sexual, we spent hours texting and emailing back and forth. Within 4 months, I had seperated from my husband and filed for divorce. One month later, he moved out and into a friends house. Things were wonderful! I had never felt like this with anyone...ever! After three weeks, he approached me about moving in. I explained that I was not ready for that big of a move, and could we possibly get thru the holidays. Instantly, things changed. Within days, he told me that things between us weren't working out. And he had decided to move back in with his ex. I had no idea at the time that he was an N. So I did not follow the no contact rule. Within two weeks, he was texting me again. I was his "princess", "we are meant for each other", "you are my life....the best thing that ever happened to me". I asked him if he was ever planning on leaving her and he said yes, but did not know when. He told me he had a plan. And asked me to be patient. Over the next few months, things were so different. We argued constantly, he would tell me to "chill" and let things happen. At one point, he even called me a bitch. But immediately after, text to tell me how sorry he was and to please forgive him. Finally in June, around midnight one night, I received a text asking me to pick him up. He lived about 30 miles from my home. He was at a bar, and they had gotten into an argument and she had told him not to come home. Of course I complied. It was what I had been waiting for for months. He started moving in immediately. While here, he was not the man I knew. He would spend all evening on the computer. Or watching tv, or playing on his cell phone. (so he says) He drank every night. He would sleep till noon. One night, he told me he was going to the gas station with a friend and a half hour later I got a text saying they were at a bar. I text him and told him that if it was going to be like this to just stay at his friends house. Well...he came home. Drunk and in a rage. Calling me a bitch, that I am not a Queen and this is not my kingdom. That how dare I get pissed off because he went out with a friend. The next day, he asked if we could talk. He told me he loved me, wanted me to be his wife. Even went to the extent of talking to my 20 year old son, and telling him how much he loved me. One night, we were watching a movie and he stood up to leave. I noticed he was on his cell. When I asked where he was going, another rage started. He told me he simply wanted to go for a walk. An hour later his car was gone. I called and begged him to come home. He did...with another rage. He had been drinking. This time, he went on about me not talking to him, laying on the couch, talking to my son more than I did him. That it was no wonder I didn't have any friends because I was so antisocial and thought I was better than everyone else. I had reached my point and threw a pepsi can at him. He left for the bar. About 3 days later, I noticed he had blocked me from facebook. And when I asked him about it, he told me he had no idea what or why that had happened. Well, looking further I realized that him and his ex were now fb friends again. (she had deleted him) When I questioned him, he became angry and told me that he still wanted to be friends with her. And he needed to keep a relationship because they were raising her grandson together. I told him I was done. I couldn't take it anymore. After a few hours, I apologized and asked him if we could please work on it....he said no. The next day, he told me he was still in love with his ex. And he moved out. This woman does have a better job than me. I know she buys his beer and tobacco. While here he discovered how I am struggling financially. But it did not seem to be bother him when I paid his child support to keep him out of jail or pay his car insurance because the ex had it cancelled. He is broke! He even brought his cat when he came, and I still have her. He claims the cat likes me, and he wants her to have a good home. Really...who leaves a pet? The sex with him was amazing in the beginning. Although, he before leaving had confided in me about some sexual fantasies that he gets into. He also said that he believes I am not "freaky" enough for him. I remember a story about him and his ex wife "switching". She ended up having a nervous break down and filed for divorce before she even got out of the hospital. He was a hoarder, an alcoholic, seemed to be bi polar, but until now did not know I was dealing with a N! And I guess I'm still in shock about this. I'm still questioning if he is. I am smarter than this! I really am! He had me believing that he loved me and wanted to be with me for the rest of his life. I guess, he meant, as long as I could take care of us financially, and give him his freaky sex. I apologize for the length of this. I would love any input I can get. Because right now I'm still feeling like I screwed up...and used up!
I have to vent! My ex-N's
Allusedup
In this case does it really
is he or isn't he
Hello! I am new here too!
Thank you so much for your
Well wishes of friends and family....
I forgot to mention that I
Titles
I guess the frustrating part
To sum it up....he only lived