The Nightmares are back
The Nightmares are back
I just got back from a wonderful week at the beach with my family. We had the BEST time! The Narc sent 2 text messages the 2nd day I was there and I ignored them and kept having a good time. I did think about him while I was gone.....I thought about how peaceful my life was without him, how he would have never fit in with my family, and how great things were without him in my life. All was good until Thursday night.
I started feeling a little anxious Thursday night because I knew I was leaving Friday to come home and back to reality. I started thinking about going back to work Tuesday and having to deal with him again. I know I shouldn't have let him in my mind but he's always there lurking! Thursday night I had nightmares about him all night long. I woke up irritated. I hate it when he takes over my dreams. Friday was a good day and the ride home was relaxing. I was so happy to get home and see my kids!!! I had some trouble getting to sleep last night and when I did the nightmares started and I had them all night long. This time they were about the OW and she taunted me in my dreams all night. It was awful. Everywhere I went she was there with him and rubbing it in my face and being mean and spiteful. It was horrible. When I woke up this morning I was RAGING!!!! The thing about it is I feel sorry for her and I don't want him back but in my dreams I was devastated. It's INSANE! For the first time in weeks I had to take a xanex. :(
I have an appt with a new therapist Monday. (thank the Lord!) I hope this new guy knows more about NPD and PTSD than the previous guy. I can't take living with him in my dreams and dealing with him when I'm awake!!!!
Please keep me in your prayers and send good positive thoughts my way!!! I feel like I've digressing!! I know this is anxiety about facing him at work Tuesday because he WILL harass me and he WILL contact me. I've been gone for a week so I'm sure he's been saving up for it. He can't help himself. He's like a terrorist!!
Thanks for listening! I appreciate you all more than you will ever know.
Sara
One more quick comment...
Sara-smile, a comment about the dreams...
Sara
Hunter
You're subconscious knows
Wow studentoflife, I like your interpretation
I agree
Thanks DS
Student of Life