Still in denial
Still in denial
Hi,
I came across this site after being told by my psychologist that my ex had a personality disorder and that he was more than likely a narcissist.
Reading everyone's stories has helped me a lot in coming to understand what my 1 year relationship with him was all about. However I still have feelings of denial about what he really is and I'm finding it hard to reconcile the thoughts in my head about how he was when we first met and then how he starting changing within 1month of me moving jobs and cities to be with him.
In the beginning he made me feel so special and stated that he would marry me if he was still smitten with in 9mths or however long it was. He would call everyday, text everyday, told me that he loved me within 1mth of meeting and wanted me to move interstate to be with him so we could give things a go. He was not interested in a long distance relationship at first.
Within a month of me moving his behaviour started changing, he was so negative about everything and anyone. I withdrew and became quiet and fearful of actually expressing myself, my feelings, thoughts and opinions as I didn't want his anger thrown in my face. Even house hunting was a fearful experience for me as he was so negative about every option that I came up, it was all about what he wanted and needed. Unbeknown to me he was ringing his ex girlfriend daily before we met and continued this during our entire relationship. He would ring her up to 10 times a day and when I confronted him about this he said that was bullsh*t, phone records don't lie!
I left him after 6mths after I found out that he was cheating on me with said ex girlfriend. He was so nasty to me my last week before I left and I don't think he actually thought I'd go through with it. He then proceeded to ring me everyday saying how much of mistake he had me and that he loved me and not her, he was just using her. This continued for another 6-7mths. Yet he refused to give her up, his excuse was that she was there and I wasn't, skinny women turned him on.
I finally had enough of being used and abused for money or someone to listen to him when his new GF would piss him off, I was the one who he always called. It has been 4 weeks since NC and I am struggling with it as we had a big argument over what I told him. Basically I'm the one with issues (which I acknowledge there are things about me that I need to change) and that he makes no apologies, loves who he is and always.
He rang me over the weekend and I ignored the call although I don't think he actually meant to ring me. His new GF's number is below mine in his phone so I think he accidentally pressed me number.
My quandary is that I have items which he gave me during our time together which I want to send back to him as I don't want anything that reminds me of him. What should I do here?
He has blocked me on Facebook and I have blocked everyone associated with him so he can't see my profile or hear about what I'm doing.
I'm also finding it really hard to separate what is his and what is mine and I feel as if I have taken on so much of his personality and thoughts.
Thank you to this website and everyone's comments and posts. Reading them does help and makes me feel that I'm not alone in this journey of self-discovery.
His Stuff
Prince charming my ....
Your ex is very much a narc.
It's mind boggling ...
Oh he meant to call, another
Would he stalk
Lost
HUNTER
Vuvuzela
Stalk....
Mmm ... that scares me
Stalk
I'm so sorry Gullable1
Thanks
Lost
This is where I get confused ...
Lost
Always right Hunter
X gf
Hi Lost
Yep, you took the word right
You are doing great
Hi Lost...