3 days NC & letter from him
3 days NC & letter from him
It's so strange what I am feeling, I cry, yes, I ache, I mourn the loss of many dreams and hopes, but I'm also feeling righteous indignation, hope, relief, me again, it's almnost scary given where I am now to imagine where I'd be in 12 months if I had stayed in the relationship.
Today he sent me this letter, which did touch me as I know this man and I know the truth and I know the manipulation, the two mixed up together is what has been for me so hard.
It makes me sad, that now that I have woken up to myself and told him we're through and that I won't be having any more contact he writes me this:
My Dear Love,
Is it really over for you? I know how it feels to have you in my arms, I know that you are the woman that I want to spend the rest of my life with. I am finding it really painful to reflect that I have messed this up and that you have really left me. I hate myself for what I have done to you and us. I know of no other woman that has helped me understand what it means to love someone and I was afraid of that so I destroyed it and you in the process.
I want you to marry me, I want to make you happy and our children to come. I will do anything not to lose you, anything. If God wills it so that we are not meant to be, then ok, but if you are willing it, please, please can you give me one more chance. I'm begging you.
I love you so much, I just don't know how to do that with you and so I hurt instead.
Please don't leave, please.
I know I should have deleted without reading but....well, it's where I'm at, this made me cry.
Hi Athena. Hope you are
Athena, dearheart,
spinning
Thank you Spinning - so much, I feel so weak, your words have
Oh, Athena...
spinning
(not) Spinning- thank you again and again..(please don't feel ..
What I would've sent him
Dangerous
Agnes - Thank YOU!
Me too
I feel broken (Jelic)
Athena, so sorry that you had
Sparrow - thank you
Sense....less