CD to the extreme

The early stages are very difficult...VERY difficult...many are in trauma. This was a psychological rape...I'm not saying this lightly. Many therapists don't really know how to treat trauma properly. The methods are different. In fact, when a victim is ill informed of Narcissism, they are unable to articulate why they're on the edge...it appears the patient is "over-reacting" and can end up labeled as having a personality disorder themselves which is INaccurate but the therapist is unable to get to the source because the victim is unable to express it due to lack of knowledge. Not all therapists are created equal which is why it may not be helping...drugs are nice to take the edge off and it may help you get more centered - but the real task is finding a competent therapist. Continue to read, continue to share, and start looking for a new therapist. Below a link with information of things you may want to consider when searching. All the best and hang in there...this is a Normal response to an incredibly Abnormal situation. http://www.camh.net/Care_Treatment/Resources_clients_families_friends/Women_abuse_trauma_therapy/women_trauma_choosing.html PS. Although an "addiction" site, it was one of the more comprehensive in terms of finding adequate treatment for TRAUMA.

The early stages are very difficult...VERY difficult...many are in trauma. This was a psychological rape...I'm not saying this lightly. Many therapists don't really know how to treat trauma properly. The methods are different. In fact, when a victim is ill informed of Narcissism, they are unable to articulate why they're on the edge...it appears the patient is "over-reacting" and can end up labeled as having a personality disorder themselves which is INaccurate but the therapist is unable to get to the source because the victim is unable to express it due to lack of knowledge. Not all therapists are created equal which is why it may not be helping...drugs are nice to take the edge off and it may help you get more centered - but the real task is finding a competent therapist. Continue to read, continue to share, and start looking for a new therapist. Below a link with information of things you may want to consider when searching. All the best and hang in there...this is a Normal response to an incredibly Abnormal situation. http://www.camh.net/Care_Treatment/Resources_clients_families_friends/Women_abuse_trauma_therapy/women_trauma_choosing.html

It is very difficult to stop thinking about them in the early stages. Is there anything you can do to redirect your thoughts? Can you maybe give yourself a few really simple tasks to do- even if its just ringing a friend when you start to slide. Review them at the end of the day- see that you are making progress and functioning without him. It will change and at first our feelings are different every day. I'm 17 months NC and mostly feel great now but if I don't sleep properly and think about him at night, I'm plagued with thoughts about him the next day and have to work really hard to shake them off. If you are having problems sleeping, your therapist might be able to help. He won't change though and he won't be happy without you. I don't believe an N can be happy. They just go on replaying the same patterns over and over- luring someone then being dissatisfied with them. They are actors and every emotion is fake. Your pain is real and it will pass, I promise.

How long have you been NC? I'm 3 months with minimal contact (child) and only in this last week has the fog almost fully cleared. It's such a relief when it does, everything becomes a lot clearer. Be patient, you just have to ride this one through I'm afraid. Stay strictly NC, it will get better I promise! There is too much evidence that he is incapable of change. Deep down you know this. You know he is a narcissist and will never be truly happy. It's only a matter of time before the OW is dragged through hell too! He is hollow and will be hollow forever. Hugs Xox

You need to change you frame of thinking! You are relating to this PDI as a normal feeling thinking human! He is not, you should be thanking God you are away from abuse and saying a silent prayer for the OW! Turn your thoughts to you, it's hard but try! It's baby steps. Today do one thing to make you smile, like, say hi to a stranger! Hunter