Never even got to 7... but I'm going to do 30 days
Never even got to 7... but I'm going to do 30 days
I'm posting this as a thread mainly for myself- because I need to hold myself accountable for following through somehow. I'm sick and tired of this. At this point, I have no one to blame but myself. Sometimes I wonder if I'm the narcissist because it gets to the point where I'M hoovering HIM with all my attempts at contact when he really couldn't give a damn. I can't remember the last time I went longer than 7 days without contacting him somehow. An email, a facebook message, a text (or ten). Usually it's met with silence, but that never seems to stop my from digging myself into a deeper hole.
I've finally had it. The "friends" thing isn't working, and I knew it wasn't going to. All I did was drive him closer to his OW, erode all the progress that I had made. I had an angry, emotional outburst last night after managing to keep calm and aloof with him. I totally blew it. Now not only does he have the satisfaction of knowing how badly his actions make me feel, I am horribly depressed and ashamed at myself.
I went out with friends last night and ended up sending him a flurry of emotional texts after too many drinks. This morning, I dug myself into an even deeper hole and sent more. After no response, I sent 4 MORE about 15 minutes ago. Had I not thrown my phone into another room and logged onto this website, I'm sure I'd be about 10 texts deep by now, with no response.
I HAVE TO STOP THIS. I am a fool and even though I can give good advice on how and why to avoid these men, I can't follow it for myself. It has to end today. I'm getting very desperate and I'm tired of being the emotional, predictable bag of hormones. I'm sick of it.
I'm going for 30 days. It starts right now. It doesn't matter that he had the last word (once again) with his silence, it doesn't matter that I'm ending it on a note of defeat with him, it doesn't matter that he's over there feeling smug that I'm so distraught. It doesn't matter. All that matters is that I draw the line somewhere, and that line is right
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Ok …. Ill be checking on
Lol, Hunter, I can always
You're obsessed because you were denied closure
Ain't that the truth. I
30 days is a great goal, a
Yes, it's definitely still at
Geez have I struggled with
That is such a good way to
Be loving to yourself....
It's okay,
deecbee
It is emotional torture.
Deecbee
30 days