Nah, it was long before the D&D.
It was "we'll always be friends, no matter what happens."
At the time it was sweet, even adorable.
Now it has a distinctly creepy ring, as in "even when you don't want to be friends any more, I'm still going to keep trying...and trying...and trying..."
Me!
After the first D&D I really wanted it too. We had done so many fun activities together (even before being a couple), I truly missed that.
He said "Let's be friends" but then gave me the silent treatment for a few weeks, followed by really strange conflicting emails.
About 2 months later I turned to him because I was going through a rough time. That's when he told me we could be loose friends but not more and that he had a girlfriend. That was the last time I cried because of him.
Another 4 months later suddenly he wanted to be friends - close friends! That was when his gf had dumped him (being dumped hasn't happened to him often, usually he's the one who ends things). I just didn't make sense because he was behaving like he wanted to be more than friends.
Well, as soon as a new girl was in the picture, he started canceling plans he had made with me and I realized he had just used me to boost his ego and dry his tears. He had never wanted a friendship to begin with and finally I am able to see it and move on...
Oh yes ... count me in for this one. Downgraded to friend ...but still abused. He even complained that i was walking too close to him on the pavement ! I stuck it for so long because i stupidly thought he would realise that i cared for him, but he sabotaged things every single time we met, He controlled all communication, He said what we ate, where we went etc. And i have mentiined before how he would flaunt his body because he knew it would make me want him, and he felt good knowing I couldnt have it. He would tell me all about girls he fancied and said when he met the right person for him, his heart would do somersaults and i did not have that effect on him. Is this how friends treat each other?! The times he screamed down the phone at me to go away ... but then called to apologise, but then blame me for the way he reacted?! He was clever, saying that he was helping me sort my life out .... but he was destroying me ... and the scars are still deep. With friends like this, who needs enemies?! Nope ... their behaviour is the same whatever label you wear x
yeah..sure...right, jackass.
Seriously. If you take a step back and really look at it, these guys are laughable. Truly.
It's like a child getting in trouble and having a privilege taken away...and all they can say is, "But I still get dessert after dinner, right?"
He just told me two days ago that "I am a great friend, but anytime we try to be anything more all we do is fight". But he doesnt want to be out of my life and said he will always "be here" for me.
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"dont let yesterday take up too much of today"
Until I texted him when I was having a rough night a few days after we decide to "take a break" and he totally blew me off. This is after telling me a million times how he'd always be there for me and this break would change nothing between us and he was just going to wait for me until things settled down for me. Ummmm... he was on a a date because he was finally "truely free" to move on even though he had been with her for months before lying about it to me. Some friend.
Mine said the same thing, especially regarding Facebook. "We're better friends away from Facebook." He loved blaming FB for why we fought, but that's like blaming the phone for the crappy things he said to me. I told him it's not FB, it's YOU!
We started fighting because he was always accumulating new "women friends" (supply) and flirting with them or just letting them be suggestive on his page, just to gain attention from all of them and make me jealous. I reminded him, we are not friends, we are lovers. Not that we weren't both, but he tried to compartmentalize them. Now I know he was D & D'ing me in so many small ways that just kept escalating until the big bomb he dropped on me at the "end." But wait! There's more! Even THAT wasn't the end.
The thing is, I wrote him a letter a couple of months before the big D & D, about how I felt he was stringing me along and trying to move me to "friend status" while he was looking for a replacement, which of course he denied. I looked back at that letter and it played out exactly as I thought it would. I re-sent that letter to him after the big D & D , pointing out how he did EXACTLY as I predicted in the letter. No response.
But the reality is, I felt him trying to move me to "friend" status vs. "lover" status a few months before he actually did it (except of course when he was screwing me through this process.) Sorry, asshole, you don't get to make that call! I am not an object you get to change from "lover, my everything" to "friend" 3 weeks later. Bite me!
Xnh said it to me a bunch of times (meaning he won't really be a friend to me, but he still would like to suck off me for NS at his convenience). He also said, "I don't want to part enemies" and "I have done a lot of thinking and I can NOT tell you I don't love you" (his exact words copied from an old email).
Too late about the enemies part. That happened when he told me he wished I'd go ahead and die, and when he said maybe he'll beat the sh*t out of me until I divorce him. His cheating on me didn't particularly inspire me to want have him as one of my friends either. With "friends" like xnh, who needs enemas (oops, I mean enemies).
As for xnh saying, "I have done a lot of thinking and I can NOT tell you I don't love you", I wondered whether or not xnh could possibly get any more "double negatives" into one sentence or be any more vague. That sentence seems like a whole lot of verbiage that says...nothing. rofl.
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God sometimes removes a person from your life for your protection. Don't run after them.
Idealk....oh my gosh you make me laugh....thank you for this post :)
I know my narc is a girl....but they really are all the same!
She really is a fucking NARC!!!
~KG
Told You. Im just trying to make a point! Same person, different body. They are sick, its a disorder. A disorder that cant be fixed. :(
Trust me, I wish this was all a dream.
Idealk
Exactly 11 days after he threw me out of HIS house, and while comforting me because my beautiful little dog had just been hit by a car and killed ...
I told him I had just lost my best friend - the dog.
Then I said that I had lost both my best friends - him and the dog.
His exact words in response to that:
"you'll only lose my friendship if YOU CHOOSE to"
A few days later he accused me of trying to take advantage of my dog dying. WTF?!!!
I chose to lose his friendship ... if that is even what it was. Still hurts though.
Even the death of another.
I later found out that the night my dog died (he loved her btw) he posted an RIP to her on facebook. No acknowledgement of the dog being mine of course - it was all about him - and apparently he got lots of commiserating comments. ==> supply!!
The bastard said, "You know I'm interested in pursuing a relationship with her, I was hoping we could still be friends."
A few weeks later, as I'm still interacting with him on the phone and through texts & emails, and I'm talking about how he "dumped" me, he says:
"I didn't DUMP you. When you dump someone, it means you no longer want to have anything to do with them, not remain friends. I just changed the dynamic of the relationship."
Talk about fu**ing arrogance! Grrrrr..........
I heard it too many times to count. Because we broke up and got back together too many times to count.
One time it was during what I would have called a "partial" D&D. He said we needed to "work on our friendship before we could get any closer to being serious." The last time, after dumping me at the altar basicallay, he still had the nerve to expect friendship and told me I was selfish and immature for denying him that after so many years together.
So, anyways, Yeah. Count me as one.
I got that plea too. Even told me no other woman could come between him and me\kids. I wish someone could could interpret that narc speak for me. I am feeling so mean right now, I'd probably tell him "i don't think its appropriate to be friends with my ex when I am in a new relationship. He and I have boundries" uhhgg I am just in the angry stage, but its funny angry. I can laugh now.
Nah, it was long before the
Me! After the first D&D I
Huh!
Journey on...
nope. all i got was "i never
broken
Sounds like a big bunch of
Happy
Hunter
Friend? Still a Narc
friends
Jen LOL.
UGGGHHH YES! I got, "We need
He didn't even say that to
Happy
laughable.
Yes! That's what mine wanted
MINE!
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"dont let yesterday take up too much of today"
Sounds familiar
Mine said the same thing,
Xnh said it to me a bunch of
______________________________________________________
God sometimes removes a person from your life for your protection. Don't run after them.
Idealk....oh my gosh you make
KG
You made your point
Just the once
OMG!!
It's all about them.
I was!
Classic!
"Lets be friends"....oh Jeez,
I got that plea too. Even