Long Distance Relatinships
Long Distance Relatinships
I am noticing a lot of us are involved in “long distance relationships” with people that are met online through a dating site, or via friends of friends…whatever.
I am not writing this to judge, but I feel it’s important that we re-evaluate our decisions concerning such relationships.
While it is hard to find someone, I don’t think these “long distance” relationships are healthy because the mere foundation of such a relationship leaves us ripe to “illusion”
So you spend umpteen hours on the phone, over the web whatever…how exactly does one bond?
You get to fantasize about all their grooviness, they whisper sweet nothings over the phone, send love notes via email…might even have a 15 year old pic posted and you are in love with some prince who in real life looks like he’s been laying in the sun everyday for the past 12 years!
I just don’t understand how you can believe that a bond, or love or whatever exists under such circumstances.
It is fantasy, it is illusion.
The real deal – BEFORE you meet if you do…you have this whole fantasy wrapped up in your head…you don’t know:
1. If this guy thinks it’s cool to pick his nose in a restaurant
2. If he thinks bathing on a daily basis is something you should do in order to smell better
3. You can’t read his body language when he says things…
4. Oh wait, you’ll probably tell me you have Skype and cameras…okay so sex is performed how?...NEVERMIND…okay fine…
It just seems like a lot of emptiness and delusion to me and you build yourself up and have all these dreamy dreams and then the guy comes or you go visit and are D&D’d and wonder why.
I think in most cases, guys do what they do online for the thrill and they know there are a lot of lonely women who are really trying to find someone and they take advantage of that.
If you really want a relationship, why not go the traditional route and actually try to obtain something TANGIBLE and within a reasonable distance? I mean in some cases…cross continent? How does that work? You make plans with a virtual stranger and get tied up in knots when they decide they’re not ready to leave, not their city, not their state but their COUNTRY?...no ladies, I think some of us have it wrong.
I’m not judging your decisions, just stating what the norm is for the kinds of setups you’ve gotten yourselves into. The statistics speak for themselves more or less…every story I’ve read it’s kinda the same thing in that boat too.
I just think someone you can interact with on a regular basis, get to know them in person, scope them out have the advantage of looking into their eyes…I mean, okay the NARCS did a great job of screwing us over and that doesn’t mean looking into someone’s eyes is always an indicator, but how do you fall madly and deeply in love with someone hundreds if not thousands of miles away you’ve met a few times?
Can someone explain this phenomenon to me?
PS - Im not talking about such a relationship where a bond and foundation has been established and then for whatever reason one has to relocate for a time, for say work or military...I'm talking about initiating something whose foundation is essentially styrofoam and wondering why the house is caving in.