Nancyh's Story

First and foremost, thank you to those who have bravely posted their interactions with a narcissist on the message board. I admire your honesty and self reflections/realizations immensely. Your experiences (1) make me realize that I am not alone, (2)help to reinforce two important messages that I need to constantly remind myself of (a) it was the narcissist's narcissistic behavior that caused the destruction of our relationship, not me and (b) his "words of love" were never "real" but a carefully orchestrated ploy to have me develop feelings for him so he could obtain narcissistic supply from me and (3) are a constant reminder that no contact is crucial to becoming emotionally healthy again. Secondly, I am grateful to Lisa E. Scott for developing this website and the administrators for giving their time to moderate the forums, thank you.

I am not able to post the specific details of my interactions with the narcissist. We had a long distance relationship for approximately eight months and the remainder of our relationship has been eight months of cycling through periods of no contact, contact, no contact and then contact. I have been no contact for forty-four days and within the past week he has ramped-up the “Hoovering“ that includes texts/emails/and one telephone call, “following me” on social media websites and reaching out to a mutual friend. Like many on this website I have periods of strength and periods of melancholy when I remember the deep emotions our relationship made me feel. I understand now that some of those emotions are physiologic and I was addicted (so to speak) to the adrenaline/endorphins that our disordered relationship caused my body to release. I also realize that his loving words were just that, words and there have never been any real feelings behind them. However, it still amazes me that intellectually I can comprehend and see the relationship for what it was but emotionally, I can still “feel” for him. I am confident that I will grow stronger daily and as time passes I can put this narcissist where he belongs, in the past.