joannexrx's story

First, she wont truly understand because he will tell her all sorts of things that somehow cover him and make sense. You will look like the crazy one. I didnt listen to his ex. Wish I had. Care more about YOURSELF now! Dont be concerned with who is in his life. Save yourself.

Should you alert the other woman? I ask you, if the "other woman" had alerted you, would you have listened? I am the ex-wife of a Narcissist. I was married for over twenty years. I had two sons with this man. He was extremely successful, yet many times in my marriage I would tell him that I would rather live in a shack with someome caring than to live the way I was living. I was demeaned, devalued, humiliated, and punished. Because I refused to take over the bills (that's the only thing I didn't do), when he traveled he would make sure not to pay the cable bill or the gas bill, so we (his family) would be without television and hot water for showering (he did not do it when heat was necessary--how sweet of him!). I would have to put my children in the car and drive several towns over to pay the cable bill. I would be humiliated having to talk with the gas company time and time again; oh, did I mention that he did this all the time? These are the kind of subtle things that you ask yourself, "Is he doing this on purpose?" Because in out right mind we couldn't imagine doing this to anyone, never mind our loved ones. I was also punished in other subtle ways, such as shutting off my credit cards without telling me, so when I went to use one, I would be humiliated at the store. It goes on and on, but I think you get my point. Anyway, this man, while divorcing was being fixed up with the friend of his attorney--is that kosher? And, the game of more EVIL began. He had a field day with my family, his new girlfriend, his family, with the MANY LIES he told about me. So, when I heard that Lover Boy---right! and his girlfriend of a half-minute were getting married, and that they were going to move into our family home, I sent her a letter introducing myself. I did not display myself as a lunatic, I simply told her who I really was, and how my sons and I would appreciate her not moving into our family home, and that my son's hope is that she stay with her family and new husband in her family home. My uncle built our home and that home was about our family; my sons and me. My ex had the audacity to call my uncle and question if he could add another bedroom for his new wife's son. He was that cocky because he had filled everyone in my family and tried to with my friends lies about me. He made himself out to be the victim; my own family betrayed me, however, my uncle did not have to build the room as after my letter, the decision to move in the house was dead and done. However, the only response from this woman was, "...I would appreciate you not sending me emails to my place of employment..." Recently, I heard that things are not "comfy and cozy," and that Wife #2 is starting to see things that she didn't see before. She is said to have a hate on for members of his family because they are so self-centered. So, with me writing, my ex-husband made me out to look like the "crazy lady" that he told everyone I was---and she believed it. She is still with him. Personally, if I received such a letter, I would most definitely take that for a clear warning. RED FLAGS are always revealed, it's that we never pay attention to them long enough, before the actor gets a-hold of you and profusely apologizes, saying he will never do it again---and again---and again..... Why put yourself through all that unless you are trying to protect your family? Revenge is for the weak/unstable. The best thing you can do for yourself is keep walking and never look back. Once you get your healthy mind back and become "whole" again, life will be so much better. I can not specify this enough to everyone, the only clean break of gaining your health is by cutting ALL TIES with this person.