Barbies and Boundariesâ„¢

Ok, this post will be an attempt to compile helldweller's observations about how it is eery we are all alike (beautiful, caring, empathetic, loving), bettoff's barbie comments, and all of the posts about us being treated like objects....and the crazy boundary violation issues I've been dealing with.

This is the Story about Ken and his Game of Barbies!

Ken loves to play Barbies! The more Barbies the better! It is a very fun game in which he gets to define his own game of Play-Acting and chooses his Barbies based on just three qualities (at least these are the three my Ken- N uses) :
- Barbie must have a beautiful body (e.g. marathon runners are perfect) since Barbie is either used for sex or as arm candy.
- Barbie must have some unique quality so that Ken can use these Barbies for different roles in his play! Ken has Dr. Barbie, Philathropist Barbie, Marathon Barbie, Hawaii Barbie, CEO Barbie, Soulmate Barbie, Nasty Barbie and lots and lots of other very fun Barbies so that his game is well rounded.
- These Barbies all have different values, life goals, nationalities, cultural backgrounds, religious beliefs, and family statuses. You see none of this matters, because these Barbies are not chosen as a long term mates where these things would matter - it only matters if Barbie is pretty and has something unique about her and is fun to play with. Ken is really only interested if he CAN secure each Barbie for his collection. He really doesn't care about KEEPING Barbie LONG TERM. COLLECTING Barbies is what is most fun to him!
- Must be fun to play with. In order to be fun to play with, the Barbies must be caring, empathic, trusting, loving and patient and very, very tolerant so that she is OK playing the same Ken game over and over and over. And it really helps (as Klarity Belle pointed out) for Barbie to be previously abused in childhood so that Barbie is primed to play this game with Ken.

The Ken game works like this.... Ken gets to pull down Barbie whenever he wants to play and Barbie must play the role that Ken has defined. For instance, I used to be Soulmate Barbie, but then Ken decided that it would be totally cool for me to play CEO Barbie! So he put a briefcase in my hand and told me I was now CEO Barbie and he changed my play-act role so that I could no longer be Soulmate Barbie. In the meantime, he found a different Barbie to play Soulmate Barbie.

But Ken doesn't tell his Barbies when he changes their roles...because it is, of course, his Game...so the Barbies don't need to know! They are Barbies - not real people! Of course, when CEO Barbie got hurt that she was no longer Soulmate Barbie... Ken said "bad, bad Barbie" "You are Violating my Boundariesâ„¢"

You see, this is all a game that Ken defines. He defines the Rules and the Rules can change at anytime, without prior notice. It is his Game of Barbies.... we are merely the Barbies in his game. And the rules/boundaries aren't really based on Moral Norms. Otherwise, the rules would be the same for all married Barbies and they would match Moral Standards. But since the rules are different for each married Barbie depending on the game Ken is playing at the time...it becomes more clear that Ken believes he is God and that he can be self righteous about proclaiming that he has clear vision of the Boundaries and that they are based on his "Moral Code".

Each day, Ken plays with his little Barbies, taking them off the shelf as he sees fit and doing a variety of things to them. CEO Barbie is super fun because he can flirt with her all day at work and communicate with her all day under the guise of "working together". He can even take her out for Romantic dinners and walks on the beach because he loves how she inflates his ego and he feels important with her.

From time to time, all of this play acting breaks something on the Barbies. The Barbie may lose a shoe, break an arm, or in the case of CEO Barbie, she may gain a few pounds from working so hard to support Ken....she works late while Ken leaves at 4pm each day to work out to maintain his Ken figure and shop for more Barbies.

So when CEO Barbie gains those pounds and rips her clothes, or accidently steps on Ken's toes....she is not perfect anymore. Ken strips her of all her clothes and accessories and throws her into the pile in the corner of the closet with all of the other dead, naked Barbies....because she is of no use to him anymore....and he wants all of her stuff for the Barbies he is still playing with as well as the new Barbies to come!

Make sense?