Chickon2's story
Chickon2's story
I guess I will start like everyone else. I can't believe I am here. (I would like to say, that I am the worst at grammer & spelling.)
I am a single mom, that was single for 5 years after my divorce. This past summer that all changed.
I met HIM at a reunion party that I did not want to go to. It was girl's night out, & the chicks told me it would be fun.
Girl's night out is a ritual. It happens every other w/end when the kids are with their dad.
I was introduced to HIM by one of the girl's that has known him since they were kids.
My 1st impression was that he was gay. He danced in a flamboyant way in my opinion.
He stayed by my side the entire night. Buying my friends drinks, while he bought me water. HE said that really impressed him.
We danced together, and we talked. I am usually guarded, & nothing was different this night.
At the end of the night, he gave me his card,(the card had a big S on it for a certain super hero:-) ) and asked that I please call him or email him. I said sure..
I went to put on my heels and he bent over took my shoes in his hand & put them on for me.. Opening the door, and saying get home safe.
The next night I was switching purses & I saw his card, and decided to email him to say thank you for being such a gentleman & for being so sweet to my friends.
He replied , saying he was in church, and he was thinking about me, hoping I would email him, and low & behold here is the email...
Fast Forward 1 week it was our 1st date. He sent me a text when he got to my house, to pick me up, saying your chariot awaits.
I get into his brand new truck , and he smelled beyond delicious, looked delicious, and had wonderful music playing. I was smitten. I was playing, calm, cool & collected but the truth is after 5 years of being single & celibate, I was drawn to him, like a new pair of shoes.
Our 2nd date was amazing, he went out of his way for this date, even in the way he presented it to me. In a plaque like an award. By our 3rd date, I love you was said, and where have you been all my life..
We were together all the time.. We did everything together. Sex was amazing... We did more in 3 months than I ever did, when I was married for 10 years. I was completely spoiled.. Jewelry, a cruise, poems, dinners, romance, dancing, every single thing a girl could ask for after being so broken hearted 5 years prior with a divorce.
All my friends said, this is a Gift from God, b/c of how much you & the kids suffered..
HE was competely immersed in my life.. Red flags, sure.. I thought I had my wits about me.. I mean I did so much work on myself after the divorce.. I made sure I didn't rebound, I made sure I focused on my kids, my home, my work.I went to therapy. I was determined to be the best single mom ever..
He, had this way about him , that I just adored..He met my entire family, he got along great with my children.. He was out of a romance novel.
THe way he would talk about me to my parents.. The way he charmed everyone..
The money he spent on me was unreal.. I did do my share of spoiling him too, but nothing like he did..
One day he was going to a family shindig ,without me, and somthing hit me like a ton of bricks.. WAIT.. Why is he going to this with out me, and he is a part of every aspect of me.
I met his mom once, and she was not at all thrilled about him dating me b/c I have children.. Mama's boy, Oh you bet.. Actually a mother enmeshed man, text book..
(He had told me he was ready to settle down and get married, I was who he was looking for.. I had all the qualities he would want in a wife.. We got along so well, we laughed, OH and did we cry.. LORD HE would cry at the drop of a hat, when he would talk about how he felt about me.. I would have to wipe HIS tears off of MY face, b/c he would be kissing me /making love to me and crying..
I started remembering little things he said to me.. "Oh people love me," "I have a way with talking to people that I can put them in my briefcase.." so on..
I sent him an email.. Stating.. ARE you in love with me, or the idea of me? Are you loving me for me, or for you? ARE you coming in here being a rescuer b/c I have told you before I don't need to be rescued.. etc...etc...etc.. It was basically calling him out on stuff..
He called me to tell me that the email hurt him very badly, that it touched his soul and he felt so much confusion ( he is very dramatic in his speech) and that he had to take a drive.. I felt bad & told him to come over..
WE talked and things were ok when he was here.. BUT that was pretty much the last of the adoration.
He pulled away from me alot, no more I love you's,. no more gifts.. HE broke up with me 11 days after that email and blamed it on his mom, having a seizure fit, b/c he was with me.. Out entire relationship lasted a week shy of 3 months.
It has been over a month since he dumped me. & I have found out so many things..
1st of all I read about Mother enmeshed men, and it described him to a T.. Then I read that mother enmeshed men, are usually narcs.. THen I started reading about that and BAM.
That described him to a T right down to the super hero complex. He is pretty obsessed with this super hero, Like he really thinks he is this certain super hero.
I know he is with someone else now, and he emailed her the SAME EXACT emails he has sent me, right down to the "I was at church thinking about you, and hoping to have an email from you and low and behold here you are"
I am feeling everything you are all feeling.. I have read emails over and over again, and I keep saying to myself WAIT how can all of this be a lie???
I found out info that he is like a predator when it comes to being in a relationship.. He is non stop trying to get girls to get to go out with him.. I have no proof he cheated, but I do know he was being Super flirt..
He told all of his friends he wanted to marry me, they all met, and i still see some of them weekly at a class I take, that we used to take together..
He has since not come back to the class. Telling everyone he has various pains & sickness.. He has talked about me behind my back saying he wishes he didn't have to see me at class every week. (niiiice, he begged me to take this class) the peopel in the class told me to stay.. They are not seeing him in the best light right now..
I should see myself as lucky.. I was 3 months with someone that treated me like a queen, I went to an amazing vacation, I have jewelry, clothes, shoes, perfume, and wonderful memories, b/c we never even had a fight..
I just feel like I would give all back , just so that the I love you, adore you's would of been true.
When I read they have no empathy I cried so much.. He made pretend to be so loving to my kids, and to think he could care less about hurting them.. Is just gross..
To think that he discarded me like a tissue, is an awful punch to the chest.
I don't talk about it anymore to friends, I think I was getting a bit obsessive about it.
I want him to contact me soo badly, just to turn him down, I think.. Oh he broke up with me in an email but the day before that email cried to my face, telling me he was going to fight for us, to his mom..
So many of you have it so much worse, I would read, and say a lil prayer..It is heart breaking..
I wonder if I myself am some sort of narc, b/c I hear you are what you attract.. I attracted this person..
I also feel like who the heck am I to diagnose this person. I mean he probably just fell out of love with me, can't that be possible without a clinical psychiatric diagnosis?
I really rather have him have the diagnosis. :-)
So many of the traits of narc, I can see now... So many of the red flags, that I ignored.. He was controlling my time, he was crazy jealous.. He didn't like my friends, he hated if I spoke to any guy.. But who knows if any of those things were true about him being so nutty jealus. I dunno anymore.
I am so upset that my radar was off.. But I guess when my radar felt tuned again, I called him out and he jetted..
I don't even know if I have a question.. I just needed to write this..
My friends that adored him, want nothing to do with him.. My poor parents were even so hurt..
I feel sorry for the rest of the victims.. AND I hate that I wanted to be "differnt" to him.. The one, that would change him.. Silly Me.. S is also for silly....
thanks for reading....
chickon2
chickon2
Jen79
chickon2
Chickon, I loved reading
Briseis
What you're experiencing now
Thanks girlie.. Good to
hi chickon2
Lawdamercy
Chickon
Characteristics of a
Somebody's done her
Why now?
Welcome Chickon
Thanks for the welcome..
So I Guess My Intuition Was Right
YUCK is right..
are you sure the big S on
The big S
When do you shake it off?
I saw him after 2 months
All my