Freshout Story
Freshout Story
I’m fairly fresh out of a relationship with a NARC. A friend showed me this site and it has been extremely helpful in putting some pieces together. It has been nearly a month and I am still physically exhausted, my brain is fried, and I'm experiencing extreme anxiety. I have been going like an energizer bunny for months on end. I left him, but I still feel tossed out like garbage. He beat me for the last time. He said I abandoned him, but I don’t feel like he was ever really there except at the very beginning. He quickly became emotionally absent to say the least. I’m actually surprised that he thought we had a real “relationship†and I’m shocked that he could have been happy with it. It was miserable. There was nothing there! Yes, at first he was the best thing since sliced bread, but within months I felt like old news. At the beginning he made sure I was so well taken care of. Actually, even at the end he made sure my basic needs were met like glasses, this was his “proof†that he was good to me, completely ignoring the constant emotional and physical abuse. Once, toward the end…he looked at me with disgusted and said “you look like you feel so used.†Um…YES! I gave him everything I had…every dime, all my emotional and physical energy, my time that should have been spent with my children and other family.
I was made so confused that I didn’t know what to think. He honestly made me feel like I wasn’t capable of stringing two thoughts together. I was told I was crazy many times a day and that I didn’t know who I was much less what I want. He said was there to “guide†me. Since I left I’ve been having a hard time with my memory, which makes me feel like maybe I AM completely nuts at times. I now wake in the middle of the night having horrible nightmares and afraid to go back to sleep. The simplest situations bring about tremendous anxiety. I have always been a very social person, but while I was with him I became so isolated. Now when I reach out to my friends I have some explaining to do. It causes me great anxiety. I don’t even know how to explain it to them. It sounds so outlandish and so atypical of my nature to be involved with someone like this AND it’s embarrassing. I am a very high energy person, but I am EXHAUSTED! My PMS this month was the worst I’ve experienced since my teens and the symptoms went on for a solid 10 days. I think that may sound crazy, but I know of no other explanation. It was my first cycle since the break-up, which ended with horrific violence. I’m seeing a therapist…I wonder if I’ll ever be the same again. I just want my life back. He was so demanding that I lost myself. It was never enough. I kept doing and doing and doing and it was NEVER enough OR it wasn’t the right thing for me to do OR I didn’t do it the right way. He was IMPOSSIBLE to please. He had other women hovering and made a point to let me know how replaceable I am if I wanted to complain. In one breath he told me that his business will fail without me, that I validate him, and he will never gain custody of his daughter without me. In the next I am replaceable? I can’t believe I put up with it! Who had I become and how? It boggles my mind. Please tell me there is hope that I will resemble who I was before all the madness.
Thank you all for sharing your experiences and support
Hang in There!
Freshout
I am so sorry this has
Welcome freshout
Hello sweetheart and welcome to the family...
Thank you Introspection
Hello sweetheart....
Duplicated post- sorry