AmusedAtThisPoint's story
AmusedAtThisPoint's story
Hi, everyone:
I've read this site for the past few months. I had a 13 year relationship with a major-ass narcissist (this dude wrote the description!) but I got over it several years ago. I did a no-contact thing for a few months until I could evict him from living rent free in my head and then we sort of resumed sporadic communications (we live 1000 miles apart now and I truly and honestly don't care about him anymore other than for amusement). To be completely honest, he did not hurt me that much because I discovered the NPD information 3 years into the relationship and understood what I was dealing with at that point. And in the interest of complete disclosure, I'm fairly narcissistic myself and kind of enjoy playing the chess game with him. He considers me superior to him intellectually and I make him "perform" before I will give positive feedback.
Okay. We had an email address we kind of shared for business purposes. I checked it this week and lo and behold! I find out that he's been conducting a "relationship" with a new woman and boy is he giving her the run around! It's sick! He's saying the EXACT same things to her he said to me 13 years ago! It's like he was frozen in time! I was fascinated.
Anyway after what appears to be about a 3-4 week period of idealization, this poor woman made the dreadful mistake of saying someting in jest that he found insulting and he just slammed the door on her. Silent treatment, won't respond to emails and texts, etc., reducing her to groveling. It took him about a year to pull that crap with me. And only a couple of days ago, he was acting as if she were in complete control over the direction of the relationship (which we all know is BS). She had the reins yanked out of her hands. Ouch! I know where this is going now. Either she'll wise up and get the heck out (she's in therapy so hopefully her therapist will tell her to get out of this before it really gets hurtful) or she'll become a codependent asking for punishment which he will happily deliver. And all this in only 4 weeks from the first meeting.
I thought this story would be instructive and encouraging for those of you who are grieving and obsessing over another woman being involved with your narc. As the article on the site says, the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. So so true! The new woman does not get better treatment than you did. She gets the same treatment you did.
Amused
Amused
Welcome amused..,.
AmusedatthisPoint
wasn't looking for advice/merely sharing a story of interest
AmusedAtThisPoint
acknowledged
then...
not a professional victim
interesting