Found another Narc

Hi All,

Well, it's been quite some time since I have visited and/or posted on this site. I lost my job at the end of 2010, and in 2011, I had to put most of my focus back on my job search, so I just couldn't be here much. I have since found a wonderful job that I love and so much has happened over the past few years. I have moved into a nicer place, got my good credit back, was able to obtain the car of my dreams & finally felt ready to get back into a relationship. And so I did, 3 months ago.

Now I must say that I am quite shocked at myself, after being on this site for a short while, that I did not recognize the Narc I became involved with until the devaluation started. I ignored all the red flags of the idealization phase and sucked it all up for everything it was worth. So the first couple of months with this guy were, I thought at the time, really wonderful & I was supremely happy.

However, 2 months in, the devlaluation stuff started coming out full force and I jumped ship almost immediately. The Narc started taking away some of the things he was doing for me. He began hinting around at things he would like for me to buy him. He started criticizing the amount of sleep I need to feel well and rested. He expected me to pick up and move closer to him so that he wouldn't be so lonely and depressed. He got angry simply because I left in the middle of the night to come home and sleep in my own bed because I was having trouble sleeping in his. And then he punished me for this by refusing to come to my place to have our usual Sunday afternoon time together. And oh, I came tumbling down from the pedestal once again, OUCH!!

Now I know I should put the NC order in place, but it's still pretty unthinkable for me at this point. I'd like to remain friends with him and yes, to try and help him. Now the nice thing is: I sent him a personality disorder quiz and he actually took it! So now he knows he's a Narc. Give him lots of credit for that!! My other PD guys in the past would not even take the test, never mind share their results with me.

So you'll be seeing me around again now & please know that I have missed being here. I was hoping I wouldn't have to come back, of course. I thought I had an emotionally healthy guy with this one, but clearly I was mistaken.

Thanks for reading my post & I look forward to healing again with all of you!!