Things that make you go, HUH!?!
Things that make you go, HUH!?!
I was talking to my therapist today about how one of the best red flags for disordered people are when you get that sense that they are not what the seem. I called it, "the things that made me go, huh?!" I am getting really good at being able to spot this now in people, and any time I start feeling like, huh?!? about someone, I pull back from interacting with them. If I had only known to trust this feeling, instead of being intrigued by it, when I was getting involved with my N. :((
So, I'm wondering what your "huh?!" moments were. Some of mine:
"I have no close friends". Huh?! Given his many social engagements, his # of FB friends, and his big family, I would have thought he had many.
"I hate to talk about my feelings. I just deflect when people ask me questions about myself." Huh?! Isn't that what we were doing most hours of the day, talking about you and your feelings?
"I don't know, maybe I'll get them in the summer?" HUH?! This is what he said to me about when he would see the kids that he said he cherished so much when he left. No plan for custody? No desire to keep them close?
"She takes so many pills, she's like an old lady." HUH!?! This is your response to my concern that your wife may really suffering from depression? You have zero empathy for her.
"I'm so afraid that one day, I'll come home and she'll have packed her bags and left." HUH!?! If this is how you feel, then what the hell are you doing messing with me? Not to mention, with how awful you make her sound, it seems like that would be a good thing? Such projection!
I'm so grateful to be aware now that our mind's way of trying to make sense of things should not be mistaken for ATTRACTION. It is just cognitive dissonance that keeps us hooked. Once we are know this, we can take control and stop the spin!
Hope you are all having a great N free day!
As Hunter says,
From all three.
I wonder if they can hear
My xnh has a brother that is
Huh?!
They are such strange creatures!
The best friend thing was
"best friends" of N's are suspect
if only I knew about this disorder before we met.
When he said
Red flags
Check!
"You dont love me, you love
Totally!
Totally
Haha!
And the biggest dummy award
Hello, massive red flags!
Huh?
LOL!
Things that made me go, huh???
oh my gosh
Yup, same words!
whoa. Unreal. A page out of
RED FLAGS: I want to slap me!
I'm seriously convinced that
That is SOOOOOOOOOOOO true, Sickofhim!!!
hahaha LOL Sickofhim, I
A total game where we are the
Narcopoly!! Yes that's the