Thinking of breaking NC???
Thinking of breaking NC???
Unfortunately, the damage these disordered ones do is evident by our membership. We have new members joining all the time, many who have just suffered the D & D and are struggling with No Contact.
I know the struggle. I know it intimately, unfortunately. But I want to tell you all the struggle is worth it. No Contact is about YOU, not them. It restores your ability to think clearly...but you must push through it for the clarity to come. One little contact starts the "spin cycle" all over again. Trust me on this. I've been there.
While early in No Contact, it's easy to think well maybe I'll just send a quick text to say we're through or to say I miss you or to say F' off or whatnot, and that somehow by doing that you'll feel better. Logically, you may already know that it makes no sense to think that returning to the source of your pain will somehow make you feel better, but the draw is there anyway.
Bottom line I'd like anyone to think about when considering breaking No Contact is this:
Every time you reach out to your abuser, you give him or her on a silver platter yet another opportunity to D & D you. DON'T GIVE THEM THAT OPPORTUNITY. ROB THEM OF THE OPPORTUNITY TO TREAT YOU POORLY BY STAYING NO CONTACT.
If you hand them the opportunity to D & D you by contacting, you can be assured that the disordered one will take it, sooner or later, either through silent treatment, a rage, sucking you back in and then vanishing out of sight.
IF YOU BREAK NO CONTACT YOU ARE OFFERING YOUR ABUSER A GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY TO D & D YOU ALL OVER AGAIN.
I'll speak for myself and say one D & D is one too many...why go in for another one?
You have the power now. Keep it with No Contact.
I hope this is helpful to anyone who might be thinking that contact would somehow make them feel better. The truth is Contact = Pain.
Love and good vibes for strength and clarity to all who stop here from,
(not) spinning. BECAUSE I'M TOTAL AND COMPLETE NO CONTACT FOR GOOD AND FOREVER.
Love your posts!
Thank you Spinning
Great post! Thank you and
Helped me
this sounds so dumb - lol..
D & D
Devalue & Discard. A staple
ohhhhh. makes perfect sense.
So glad I read this ...
The hardest ex to ex
sounds like hes trying to get
EXCELLENT REMINDER SPINNING
Great Post Spinning
Well
yeah what's with them and
Alissa
Great point Spinning
Great post spinning!! Thank
Great post spinning!! Thank
Great post!
I have read ALL
Spinning can you..
Thank you Spinning
Wish I would've seen this
Unfortunately
Monarch I'm very sorry to
monarch
Monarch
Monarch
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