Bye XN
Bye XN
I’ve hardly kept 1 month NC, and I know that probably this isn’t that much for making this letter, but I really don’t want to drag this on to 2012, so here goes.
Before I met you, XN, I always thought I would always be a bachelorette and didn’t want to marry, not because I thought of it as wrong, but because I didn’t want to engage in what society presents as the means of a happy life and wanted to discover other happiness equations. Then you came into my life, and we danced together very well. I never thought and never knew the power of letting oneself go to the one you love and surrender to it with everything it comes. Didn’t even know the courage it took, and I was scared shitless because I didn’t own my heart anymore and gave it away for you to do as you pleased. I’m no poet, but there’s a song called rolling in the deep, and that’s just what you did; you played my heart to the beat.
Even though being with you was difficult, demanding and painful 90% of the time, I want to thank you. You showed me the extent to which I could love and saw myself as I truly am; a kind, warm and loyal woman who stuck by her principles with outstanding ferocity. I saw that the equation I thought would never apply to me, wasn’t so “off”, and showed me numerous possibilities for happiness. With you, I saw the power of my own vulnerability. You let me see how valuable I am, just because you never seemed to value me nor valued anything I stood for.
I wish I could have been the one that made something inside you click for your recovery, but I don’t think that’s my task in this lifetime. Please know and carry with you the love I gave you, because when the time comes and you see your life, you can know for sure that at least one person loved you for you; not your titles nor your rent ability nor your ability to achieve. As you gave me this challenge for growth, I gave you love. So now I let you go knowing I gave everything I have to give, celebrating my renewed character and appreciating your gift to me of genuinely caring for myself first.
Good bye, and thank you for coming into my life,
C
"I wish I could have been the
Such a beautiful letter, Anonymous :)
This is excellent.. Post on
Thanks Hunter!! By the way
Beautifully written. And so
Thank you for your words and