kizzy72's Story
kizzy72's Story
My Recent Mess
This it the recent mess I got into -- luckily it was caught before it went too far.
I met this guy on facebook.
Well anyway, he and I got to talking and seemed to be forming a friendship but right off, I would start to notice he had this hot/cold thing where he would be all open, speaking and replying to my notes, but then there were days he would sign on, post stuff on his Facebook page, but wouldn't respond to my private notes. I brushed it off at first.
He seemed to be grateful towards me that I was straight up with him and that he had the capability to discern who is real and who is not. But I didn't like what I was seeing and I had this gut feeling about him that bothered me, so I took him off of my friend list, which he said hurt his feelings. I remained in communication with him, and he explained that me taking him off of my friend list is a form of running away.
Well for some reason, he felt that after reading a few of my emails that I had, as he would say a melancholic temperament and that my thinking is askew (but said it didnt bother him, and that he in fact wanted to help me with this). He said he and brother have the same temperament; melancholic, (especially his brother), and that hes involved with his church and likes to help people who have special gifts; talking about God, and forgiveness and all.
He went on and on about how I inspire him and that for a year he was in a self pity state until he saw the website I did for his brother, and it got him out of his melancholic state to get up and get the job that he wanted.
Anyway, Im an artist myself, I suffer with depression, especially since last year when I lost my father, but I had some emotionally unresolved issues with my father, so I took in a lot of what he said because Im open to the fact that I have my own issues that need work and I can be insecure about things, so he decided to call me.
We talked for almost three hours. It was great. He had me read Bible scriptures on forgiveness, helped me to understand my own temperament because it is very melancholic, so I was very intrigued by our discussions. But then he started talking about personal issues with him that harbored him emotionally for most of his life, some things I was shocked by.
Well to put a long story short, he told me to keep up the communication, say what I feel and dont hold stuff in. So I did, but I didnt talk to him about only things that were bothering me, I sent jokes and other stuff like I did with everyone on my list.
Well all I know is, he told me, based on one of my notes, that he would call, and to be prepared to talk.
Well he calls me, and instantly, I noticed strange behavior that wasnt there before. He started cursing at me. Then he told me, I want to know your soul, and asked me what is bothering me the most right now. So I told him, as I did in our first conversation, that my weight is one of the biggest factors, because I gained weight due to steroid treatments for this rheumatoid problem I have.
So he ask me how much do you weigh, I told him Im not comfortable revealing that information, then he yelled how much do you weigh or Im hanging up!!!!. So I told him my weight, which he was shocked at, but told me that he feels that Im trying to reach for unrealistic goals, worrying about what other people think.
Then we got on the subject of my illness, which during our first conversation he was very compassionate about, but this second conversation he said you are not sick!!!!!!, and all that Im feeling is pent up anger and resentments.
Eventually we got off the subject of my issues, and just talked. And I told him that I have to be careful because some things I didnt feel were appropriate and could causes problems. So he asked me what issue are you talking about, he knew what issue I was talking about, but he said, there is no so in so!, then asked me if I was fishing for a story. I told him Im not, that he asked me a question and I was giving him an answer.
Well we got off of that, but he seems to be getting worse and worse during our conversation, and I felt like I was walking on eggshells with him suddenly, and it left me wondering where did this God fearing man go because he was cursing up a storm.
Well, I asked him a question, as me trying to get to know him, based on something he told me about himself during our first conversation.
He said what are you talking about?, I said you told me about this issues during our first conversation. He said no I never told you that, then again, he starts to get more impatient.
So then I said to him, why is it you can ask all kinds of questions about me, but I cant ask you anything. He replies and says because you are asking me stupid questions!!!!!!!.
Then he hung up on me and hasnt spoken to me since.
Ive sent him several notes apologizing, but he never replied for days, and again went back to that ignoring me, but posting stuff on his wall. So I got tired of the silent treatment and removed him from my friend list.
Needless to say, he has said nothing to me since.
So much for me keeping up the communication and saying what I feel.
Im over here suffering with anxiety attacks because I dont know what I did, and he wont tell me.
This is killing me because I don't like feeling like I did something wrong or being left hanging.
Now I'm finding out about his background, and just found out he's been in prison twice for DUI's, serving one year in jail, and another sentence of six months, plus multiple tax liens, bankruptcy's and then some, yet I'm still sitting here wondering why he has not contacted me and why he's not answering my notes. And I've never even met this guy nor had interest in him for anything more than friendship.
I was in an abusive relationship in 2009 with an alcoholic, who d**n near killed me, and even then, I blamed myself.
There has got to me something wrong with me?
No Kizzy nothing wrong with you
This is the problem
Narcissists exist everywhere - even in church
Thank you Michele
Kizzy
Thank you again
Oh, kizzy, sweetheart,
spinning
D&D'd?
Kiz,
spinning
Counseling
wow...
spinning
Its ok Spinning
Kissy
yeah