Can this be real?

I have been so depressed. I have felt hopeless. I found this website and read and read and read...I also read many other thigs regarding Narc's online, but found it redundant and dry as toast. This wonderful place, however, really gets it. I don't feel as alone now. I felt utterly lonely, and even more so when N was home. Is it real that I feel so much stronger today than yesterday? I feel that I've just found my life rope but instead of hanging on for dear life, I feel like I can hold on with one hand because I don't fear it'll disappear. I'm confused. I'm not used to feeling safe. I suddenly feel safe. Is this a false sense of security? I wrote a note telling my husband to leave last night, and today when he read it and freaked out, I didn't react...is this the calm before the storm, or have I finally learned that I can't change him, I can only change myself?? Do others feel what I feel when they join this group? Or, as N has made me feel over the years, am I just totally insane?