Hi Goldie,
I was wondering, if maybe we could have an additional forum for those of us that have progressed to the point of being ready to try dating again but are still a little unsure of ourselves? Something like "Getting back in the Game".
A place where we can share experiences, thoughts, conserns, tips and observations.
Thanks,
Coffee
This is a great idea, Coffee, a dating challenges forum
For now you are welcome to use this blog to dialog about it. The most important thing for most of the members who have begun to date again is to be ready. If you attempt it too soon, it can create more heartache and you may choose another PD, if you are not "there" yet. Also, try to make every effort to keep the PD out of your conversations with the new romantic interest, especially in the beginning. Taking about it too much can destroy the new relationship. Much better to get it out on here, with your therapist, and the supportive people in your life.
Do you have any particular concerns or thoughts? Post them on here if you would like. This is a great subject which I am sure will be of interest to many.
God bless,
Goldie
THis is on my mind, so glad
THis is on my mind, so glad someone brought it up. My self confidence is there in most areas. I feel like I could protect my heart from abuse easily. I feel comfortable talking and sharing. I am not comfy with my image of my body. Getting naked, lol. People who know me do not understand this. My friends say it's all in my head. I am 43, had two babies. I am relatively fit (not hot bod or nothing, just normal). I look better in clothes than I do without them, uhg. There I said it. Things just are not where they use to be. I know someone who likes me for who I am will love my body. Maybe just meeting the right man will ease these thoughts. My narc was a gymaholic and was real vain about his body. He only directly insulted me a couple of times about my body, but the damage has stayed. He did do a lot of covert jabs. Any suggestions on how to overcome this last little hurdle, I welcome them. You guys are great.
How spooky is this
I posted last night about concerns on dating. I can't remember when I last went on a date - got to be at least 5 years ago and then only 1 date with 2 different guys. Neither of which were ideal. Or was it just because I still hankered after my ex? Then ex and I got back together for about 3.5 years and same old, same old.
But now 7 months out and NC I feel ready to dip my toes again. I have educated myself and feel that I am able to recognise red flags enough to protect myself too and now I would like to put that into practise.
I don't want to be love bombed or swept off my feet. I just want adult company, fun, laughter and mutual respect. Initially, I will be taking things very slowly.
I too have concerns about my body but don't intend to jump into bed with anyone until I feel completely comfortable with them as a person and being around them. Nobody is going to have my heart until I am convinced they deserve it and respect me.
I won't be talking about the ex-P either - probably scare the life out of normal people and they might think I am nuts in any case. No, that little chestnut will be put on the back burner. He is out of my life and mostly out of my mind too nowadays so don't want him messing with my future.
If I have learnt one thing from this whole experience/process, it's that I deserve so much more than I was willing to accept in the past. We all do.
Looking forward to reading everybody's views and comments.
Dee x
hi all
I am nearly 3 years out from exnarc and my biggest problem, the lack of any good, decent men i am attracted to, to go out and become friends with, UGH. I met one guy but he was narky like, after 7 dates seemed to have mommy/women issues, living with his 83 year old mother, and was very self absorbed and egotistical he wanted to date other women, I ended it as I am a one guy at a time woman and want to get to know someone to see if there is anything there.Where are the decent attractive men who are single I would like to know???????????Men don't seem to care about womens bodies,lookswise, as much as they do about how women feel in their bodies from all i have read..
Any sign of a mummy's boy
And I am out the door like a shot. I have a healthier relationship with myself nowadays so will not tolerate their unhealthy relationships with their mothers. Been there, done that far too many times and so not allowing it to happen again.
When you find out where the decent, attractive, single men hang out - let me know.
Thanks for sharing.
Dee x