OMG! Emergency wake up call! NARC is blaming me for his stomach bug…PAH!!!
OMG! Emergency wake up call! NARC is blaming me for his stomach bug…PAH!!!
My narc husband, bought himself a 2 grand bike, bought all the cycling kit, got involved in a 1000 mile bike ride and then failed because his swishy bike broke. He had to come home, after 4 days. He was gutted. I felt bad for him because he never even completed half the ride. On the night he retuned, I helped him by feeding him and putting him up. I sat and listened to the tales of the time away. I listened to the fun he had and his disappointment. I heard about how he was going to get back in the ride and get his biked fixed. Regrettably he couldn’t because he couldn’t afford the part. The bike was so expensive; it’s not surprising that the part was too.
I started to miss him; I started to feel for him. I started to look at him and think he was very beautiful and started to hope that we could work it out, I felt that I still loved him dearly.
Then he stayed over last night because he now can’t get to his house every easily without his bike. Also an issue of contention, that he moved into the country side without a car, to a place that it takes an hour or more without a car to get to on foot/bus.
But I had a wake up call last night.
He came over. I wanted to see him. I thought it would be nice to catch up. We chatted for while. I sat and diligently listened to him as I always do. As he talks about himself and about his ideas. He was asking me as usual, ‘had I followed the link he sent me about some conspiracy theory thing’. I just nodded. Smiled sweetly. I thought, this is okay. Sam vankins wife is happy to stay with her narc husband. She accepts him as what he is. I thought maybe I could do that. (Dumb I know) After all he is the father of my child. I thought it would be right to try and work this stuff out for our son’s sake.
Though he did manage to upset our son to the point of anger yesterday by being too strict with him..
but that was not what woke me up…
Later in the night, (he was sleeping in my son’s room as my son sleeps with me) he woke up with violent stomach upset. I asked him if I could help. My son has recently had a mild illness after he came back from his fathers. I suggested it was the same bug. At that he said ‘its probably your house’… he said ‘its probably your kitchen’
I was so pretty p**sed off. I said ‘OMG are you serious. I cleaned my bathroom and my kitchen that very day. It was spotless, but he had me. ‘I noticed you haven’t cleaned your fridge’ (WTF, so get the F**K out of my fridge, and don’t eat my food) (sorry for all the swearing, I am pretty mad at him) I had not cleaned my fridge, it was true. It was a bit shabby but not a stomach bug shabby.. and WTF. He gets ill and it’s my fault. REALLY???
Frigging typical isn’t it!!! I said, ‘I doubt you got ill here’ I mean WTF he only ate a hour or two before. He had been scoffing chips before that from a chip shop. He is a obsessive mad health freak and never eat chips so why was he not blaming it on that!!!!??? No he was still convinced this morning that he and my son were made ill by my unclean fridge. OK. I admit I didn’t clean it my whole two weeks I have had off work which is bit lax… but it’s not terrible. I don’t eat meat so the bacteria could never be that bad… not that you get ill like that, not that quickly anyway… But he is a insane super obsessed clean freak that ‘cuts corners’ himself. So he can you tell how to live but when he neglects to do chores in the house, well, woe betide you if you point it out.. I hated living with him. He was a total hypocrite like that…. BUT he had that on me…he knew I had not done it and it was a perfect way to frame me for the predicament he was in.. Wa**er!!!! To make into the slob he thinks I am!!!!
He was intent on me being the cause of ill health. I mean he hasn’t been at my house for days if not weeks to eat. My son got back from his house after the weekend, just a few days ago with a stomach bug and a cold…. I mean who does it point to if you’re looking for someone to blame???? But kids get ill so I would never do that!!! I didn’t event think to blame him for my son’s bout of illness. But he is so quick to cast blame out side himself.
SO he eats at my house for the first time in ages last night. I mean I tried to explain that bad food does not make you ill an hour or two afterwards but he still thinks it’s my fridge…WTF!!! He needs to go on a food hygiene course to learn about food poisoning transmission times. It does not o happen in a hour… AND… I ate the same pasta myself an hour before, from the very same bag… I wasn’t ill and I have a very sensitive stomach..
Why the hell is he eating my food anyway.. if it diod make him ill, well that will teach him eh???
I had bought myself some fresh cheese filled pasta which was in the fridge for a few meals. He hates and absolutely detests cheese and won’t eat it. Then last night he comes to my house eating fried food, ‘chips’, and then after I go to take my son to bed, he eats my pasta. I come down stairs to have some time chatting with him and he says, half way through cooking it, is it alright of me to eat this. I say ‘yea but it has cheese in’ and he says ‘ I know but I am hungry…’
I know this sounds bloody petty but it actually saved my life…
His hypocritical nature. His bone headed logic..
Maybe eating fried food and cheese would have been enough to make him ill, no not to him, he has to blame me…???
I was there, thinking how we could work it out.
I was thinking how much I still loved him and how I could accept him…
I was reading about the cases on here of ‘the new woman’.. I was thinking I was glad that he didn’t have a another woman yet and maybe he didn’t because he still really loves me..PAH!!! What a fool I am!
IT WAS A ‘GREAT BIG AMAZING GIFT FROM GOD’ WAKE UP CALL…
His sh**ing himself in the middle of the night.
The irony of it all is this.
Back a few years ago, when I was breastfeeding and exhausted with a new baby. I got stomach bugs a few times regularly. I had some bad cases where I couldn’t even walk upright because I was in so much pain. He despised me when I was ill. He saw it as ‘weakness’ and it made him even crueler. He was truly horrible at that point… it was combination of PTSD and the abuse that made me so ill. He never offered any help or support and when I was really ill, he wouldn’t even bring me a cup of tea or food and when he did, he would make me wait for ages for it. It was true misery.
He was in the same room last night as I used sleep in with my son. I heard him moving from the bedroom to the bathroom, as I did too… I empathically could feel it…I had been there alone in the night in misery. I was sleeping the main bedroom where he used to be in those old days. It was very odd feeling to think that I used to suffer like that a lot in the dead of the night and he didn’t even care.
So I offered tea and water and gave him some homeopathy.
He is really run down and depressed at the moment because he didn’t finish his bike ride. The failure of it is killing him. He told me how he what people thought affected him. It’s killing him, that people think he has failed more than his own determination to do it being affected as a personal goal....
Narcs build there image from the outside so that stuff really matters.
He has a cold sore and an ulcerated mouth and now this stomach thing…
AND THE F**KER SHIFTED THE BLAME ON TO ME AGAIN…
AGAIN, I am blamed for his crappy life situations.
I just was OMG, did I really think I could be with you again?
Did I really think I missed you?
DID I REALLY FORGET THE TORMENT and UTTER DISPAIR of those terrible days???
Apparently I did!
Well thank God that he got the sh*ts last nite. His response to my support was so negative and typical of him.
I saved myself from falling back down under his control by pandering too him…
I had to share this. Its sounds petty… but ‘petty’ was about the size of the stuff he used to use to patronise me and keep me humiliated. Always complaining about my house wifery-skill and picking holes in what I had done in the home.
And still doing it…
I am so crazy that I actually started thinking he was half way human and that there was some possible way we could be together. I musty have been temporally round the bend.
I had this one thought, that maybe what goes around comes around!
I am feeling great at the moment. I have been training loads of kung fu.
The distance between narc husband and me has meant that I have been living.
I perhaps forgot for a while just how nasty and ruthless he is… because of the distance, but the distance and limited contact is what has been giving me back my energy.
He sucked out the life force out of every cell in my body and soul.
I have been finding that with time for myself I can heal me.
I just shudder to think if he had not been ill and I had kissed him or something…
I hoep this all reminds you. they migthbe appear all nioce and lovely sometime ans it makes you want them but the otehr evil side will show up sooner or later, usally sooner rather than later too... xxx
God bless you all.
Keep on keeping on..
x
Thanks all for reading and
what a load of bollocks
Sam Vaknin's wife
a) How telling that he was
I'm so glad you got your
Because a "chip" wont give
only one way to go...Forward (tm?)
Vix