Promises of Change
Promises of Change
Hi everyone,
This is my first time posting but talking to my family and friends doesn't seem to be nearly as helpful as reading the feelings and thoughts of people going through these experiences. I don't know who I am anymore and I can't seem to get a hold on reality or what I want.
I was with my N (or who I believe to be just that) for a year, got engaged, and things began taking a turn. It was slow at first and I blamed it on various things; I was planning a wedding and he was starting a business and he convinced me it was all my anxiety about getting married that led to the change in our relationship. Yet it felt like the closer the wedding came, the farther he went. I almost called it off. I didn't. It was a fairytale wedding in every sense of the word followed by blissful honeymoon. We were back three weeks and had a fight that led to the worst month of my life. Emotional abuse and cruelty and physical and emotinonal withdrawal that led to me having a nervous breakdown and my family coming out to mop up the pieces. It was such a drastic change I barely recognized him. Everything I did or said seemed to irritate him. Everything I did was wrong or pushed him "two steps back" into silence. He neglected me, the house and the dog. He began to deplete finances. I kicked him out.
I talked to a therapist and he mentioned narcissistic personality disorder and I began to read everything on the subject and it was like suddenly the last two years of my life made sense.
We have been living apart for three months now and I finally mustered the strength to tell him I want a divorce. No therapy, no talks, just a divorce. He is begging me to reconsider, promising me that all will be different now and he has gone to therapy and will never do any of those things again.
He is even saying the words that I have never heard him say while living together: "I am so sorry"
Have people experienced this same pattern and gone back? Does it always work out the same in the end? I know in my gut that I should keep walking away and I'm trying but the pain is so intense and I want to believe him but it doesn't seem real.
Any thoughts or advice would be much appreciated
Of course another lie
They don't change
Don't Look Back!
THANK YOU THANK YOU for the
Therapist's Belief
Yes! I feel like she keeps
You have an opportunity
3 Words- TRUST YOUR GUT!!
AMEN
Are you kidding me Sun?
Layla
Layla
So sorry honey, but...