YUK

Last night, I picked up D and her dear old dad at the airport. D was so happy to see me! I allowed ex to stay at my house with her (as he had to take her to school in the a.m) and I planned on staying at my parents, down the street. On the way home from the airport, ex asked if I would please stop at the store-I stopped and he came out with a brown paper bag and was laughing. I asked him what was so funny and he pulled out a bottle of the wine we drank the night of our first date-the exact same kind. Nice, huh?

We got back to my house and ate some food and talked for a little. About D and he about relationships, and how people should try and work stuff out, marriages are hard, relationships are hard, etc (I deusionally went there in my mind for a second that I wish we did that-then I remembered, oops we couldnt have with the type of person he is). How he wished he knew this and that when we were having trouble. That, how he is struggling in his relationship of a year and he equates a lot of it due to the fact that he is taking care of her kids and isnt with his daughter. He talked about how not a day goes by that he doesnt get upset over not being with D etc. About how he wants to move and may get this great job (in a state I love) and how well, “we” (he slipped and said that , not necessarily meaning us together, etc)., could have it. He said he feels stuck, gf mother dying of cancer, gf just adopted these 2 kids, etc etc.
In the meantime his gf texted every ten minutes and that made me feel sickenned. He acted really put out every time she called or texted and even looked at the text and said “whatever” at one point. He talked about how there is so much stuff all over their house (its messy), etc etc. I feel really sorry for this young woman. I know how hard he is to live with.

He drank lot of wine, seemed to be escaping. We played a board game with D and then I decided I better go. Well, D was extrememly upset and cried and begged me to stay. She physically clung to me crying hysterically and then I decided to stay. I slept in her bed with her and let ex have the spare room. I got 1-2 hours sleep. I was uncomfortable, nervous, sad, I was experiencing all of these emotions over again and it was horrible. That compounded with no sleep, has left me drained and worthless today. He leaves tomorrow and I will not see him again tonight. I actually told him that I dont feel comfortable and there are unresolved things that dont allow me to be “buddies” with him right now. Part of me is not sure I should have stroked his ego like that, but the other part of me is just a 'putting my cards on the table kind of woman'. He just said “I understand”.