You Know What I Have Trouble Getting Over?

My ex-P played the sympathy card---he claimed that he was the victim of people's hatred and misunderstanding. He had the big dark puppy dog eyes... very easy for him to get sympathy. That's probably why women tended to sympathize more with him than men. He did the whole "people think I'm mean" routine. I saw how his colleagues, his social equals, shunned him--and wondered why. I felt bad for him. I was always encouraging him, telling him he had much potential. Though he was the professor, I was the teacher. He was the student who needed the inspiration and encouragement-- I still think he was the perpetual student. It took him SEVEN YEARS at the University of Virginia to get a Master's degree. I always encouraged him to think outside the box, to BE ORIGINAL. That's what snared me. He always presented himself as ethical and philosophical. He claimed he was vegetarian (I now believe the story from some fellow alums who saw him at McDonald's--eating hamburgers),mimicking his mentor Cora Diamond perfectly. (She's a well-known vegetarian/philosopher) He claimed he was religious, writing about St. Augustine, Wittgenstein, quietism. I thought I could play God and save him. Only God can save him.

"They all play the sympathy card. It makes you feel like you can save them. Key ingredient to hooking you." So true. And we, being highly empathetic individuals, get sucked into it. My N had many "woe is me" stories, but one MAIN one about his upbringing. And when he says it it is exactly the same everytime word for word, like a script.