Yaddy 1971's Story
Yaddy 1971's Story
Wow, have not begun writing and already have to take deep breaths due to the enormous amount of embarrassment I feel with what happened and how I did not have the courage to turn around and walk away sooner. I am going to try and keep the sentences short so it does not end up being a book. Met him on online dating site. (We lived 45 minutes from each other). As we went out on dates, continued to learn more about him and his life.... Divorced 7 years. Worked for heating/air company that required him to go out of town occasionally for a day or two. Had been at company 13 years. Last relationship ended over a year ago. Paid $800 a month in child support. Had non-Hodkin's lymphoma and is in remission after chemo. Made $30 an hour, etc., As we continued to date, I loved his personality and felt like I could just be me around him. When he went out of town on business, he would call me/text me but it would stop in the evening, and he said either his phone died or he fell asleep. As time went on, we became intimate. 23 days later I started having lower abdominal pains. After 3 days of pain and him telling me if I did not go to the ER, he was going to take me, I went to the ER by myself when he was at work. After being poked with needles to draw blood, a CAT scan, and a pelvic exam I was told I had STD trichomoniasis. WOW, yes....I filled my antibiotic and called him and told him. Response was it must have been from his ex g/f. I being in medical field know that he could have been a carrier and had it for some time and not showed any signs, and I gave him the benefit of the doubt. He went to the health dept and got put on pills and we continued our relationship. He moved in with me. Then the constant texting started right in front of me. I finally asked to see his phone. Refused and said, “You cannot have a relationship if you have no trust.” I in turn said if there is nothing going on, let me see your phone. He packed his things and left and went back to the same apartment he came from cuz he was friend's with the owner. Soon the I miss you and I love you and cannot live without you started coming from him. He swore he was not doing anything. Yes, he squirmed his way back. The going out of town episodes continued here and there and it seemed he could never quite put his phone down when he was with me. After awhile of watching him draw the pattern on his phone to unlock it, I knew what it was..I just had to find that time to look at it. One day heading out of town he called and said he was having chest pains and he was headed back to city where he lived to the ER. I took off work and went there. His phone was dying and I said I could take it and charge it in my car. He gave it to me and wow….saw text messages to several diff women. One wanted to come to the ER that day but he said he was not ready for her to meet his kids cuz they were there. Couple other texts to women said he was out of town at that moment. Two women that he texted at some point told him, “I think you are only using me for sex.” I was livid at this point. I had plans of hoping he was still in MRI when I went back in so I could leave his phone and get out of there. Well, he was already back in room. Changed plan and told him my stomach was hurting again, which it was not. He tried to convince me to sign into ER. I said no. I ended up having to drive him to his apartment cuz they gave him pain meds. As soon as I got him home I lied and said that I already had been checked out and that I had another STD. This was his response, and no I am not joking. “If you got one then it must be from me. Only thing I can think of is I let a friend whose husband was abusing her stay here one night, we drank a lot and the next morning I woke up with my boxers on.” REALLY? I said that was it, I was out of there. He ended up running out after me saying he loves me and on and on and on and that he made a big mistake, he cheated and will never happen again. Took him back once again. One time I came to his apartment and met his friend/landlord and his next door neighbor. Got to talking to the neighbor out front while he was in his apartment. At one point she says, "thank you for finding him passed out on the bathroom floor." I was thinking she had me mixed up with someone else. I asked her what she was talking about, and she said that although she had never met me until that day he told her all about me, my name, that I was his g/f, etc. He told her he passed out in his bathroom and I found him several hours later and took him to the hospital and he almost had died. I then opened up to her about the texts and women. She told me there was another girl that comes and goes from there and in fact one time she happened to be out when the Narc and OW were leaving and she said hi to them. Narc told her that woman was a friend and that several times during that conversation Narc mentioned my name and the fact that I was his g/f. She said the woman had a "what is going on" look on her face. (hope i explained that so you can understand it). After neighbor told me this, the landlord/friend of his came over to where we were and started talking. Narc told him (landlord/friend) that his cancer was back about year previous and he could not work cuz he has chemo treatments every day. (landlord let him stay there for free). I knew he worked. I have seen him cash his paychecks. I went to his car and pulled a paycheck out and showed his landlord. Somewhere in the conversation it came up that Narc told him his dad died soon after his mother. I had met his dad several times recently. By this point, it was hard to hear what I was being told. Landlord asked when we met, and I said in January. He said Narc had woman living with him until February. He showed me the mailbox that still had her name on it. I did not want to let on that Narc knew what they had told me so I curled up in a ball and fell asleep that night next to him. The next day I drove home and told him he left a paycheck at my house and that I knew he did not pay child support, did not make $30/hr, and he had not been there for 13 years, and I told him about the texts I saw in his phone when he was at the ER. He reluctantly admitted that he was lying about child support, how much he makes and time he had been there. He, however, said that I had the texts wrong. He said he likes to talk "crap" with women but that I had it all wrong. I told him to not contact me anymore. (I never told him what landlord/neighbor said cuz I did not want them to become involved). Landlord ended up kicking him out and once again he squirmed his way back to living with me. Told me from here on out no more lies, all will be truth no matter what it is, and I could have access to his phone.
All in all, I kept finding him in lies and every time he had an excuse for them and that somehow I “read to much into things.” “I’m always trying to make something out of nothing.” “I am not perfect, and neither are you.” Some of the things he said I actually started to believe them. I thought maybe I was crazy and would find myself saying, “well, that could be true.” Last draw was two/fold. He has 3 older vehicles and has 3 loans on each through a place where he gave them the titles and they gave him money. He said he was going to stop paying on two of the vehicles and let them take them and just keep paying on one. Last Friday he said he went to make the payment on one he wanted to keep and they would not let him....basically he had to pay on one he was behind on first and that he could not just let 2 of them go, that they would take all 3 if any was in default. He said he went back to talk to manager and manager let him refinance all three and gave him only 30 days to catch up what was in default and also on top of that make what he had already agreed to pay on time. He said he desperately needed to get a part time job right away in order to be able to do that. Well, 4 days go by and instead of trying to get a part time job he tells me he was going to coach his nephews' baseball team. When I asked how he was going to pay the money he needs in order to keep his vehicles without a part time job, he said, "I do not know." I called the place where he got the loans and told them (fibbed a little) that someone wanted me to loan them money and then went onto explain all that he said above. They told me they would not take all 3 vehicles; they would only take the ones he does not pay on. I texted him and told him what they said about that. His response was, "that's not true." Second part is I got feeling he was texting and not playing game like he wanted to make me think he was doing. Later that evening I asked who he was texting. (at some point he said I could check his phone anytime I wanted). He said some guys name about an air conditioner. I asked to see his phone. He acted like he was pulling up the text message and said, “I must have deleted it.” He left without his things this time and said he would be back to get them this weekend. You probably know what is coming next….texts from him saying I love you, I did not do anything wrong, I told you I would not…..I miss you. Two days ago I told him to never call me again and that his things would be on the porch this weekend. Well he has not called but he has texted. LOL. He even texted today and asked to be friends. I texted back friends is not a good idea and that no contact is best. I also said to delete my #. He texted back he can’t delete it cuz he loves me. I reiterated again this is broken and has been proven it cannot be fixed. Last response from him was, “if that is what you fu***ing want, that is what I will give you. Glad to know you love me.” So far no more texts from him. Okay, the gist of my story is out. I feel like such an idiot. I am embarrassed.