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WTF

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#1 May 25 - 10PM
malloryforest
malloryforest's picture

WTF

I am sorry, but I need to rant. I just can't believe this man. Who is he to tell me that I need to just get over it and move on. Who is he to tell me that it is time for us to be friends. He is in la la land. It is amazing the hell he can put me and his family through, and just think that I should just forgive him and get over it on his time clock. I do want to get over this pain that i have endured, but not so I can be friends with him. Not so that I can forgive him. I want to be over all of this for me and my kids. Please....I don't understand. How can somone beg for reconcilliation last weekend, and then tell me he is bringing GF back home to meet mama next weekend for her birthday! How can I take any of his feelings seriously? How can I believe he had true remorse, when he just turns around the following weekend and throws himself back into GF. What the hell. This is insane? Right? So, the only thing I can believe is that any emotions he says he genuinly felt about working on our marrigae was BS. THen he said to me, I tried, but you turned me down, so of course I am going to take GF home. He made it out like I was the crazy one. Like he tried, and I was the ungrateful, ragefull one. He screws over me and the kids, has affair with GF, drives his family across country so he can live with GF, and I am the crazy one, who is angry, and doesn't appreciate him.

I honestly can say that I feel deep hatred towards this man right now. I am sure, he is sitting in his hotel tonight thinking, see she is angry. She is toxic. I am so glad I am with GF. He doesn't ever understand the hell he put us through.

He doesn't care about the hell he put us through. He only cares about himself. He thinks...yeah, I crapped on you, but you should be a big person and forgive me and my GF. Make it all easy for him. I have no desire to purposefully make anything hard on him. but guess what, I think I have a right to my feelings, and I have a right to whatever process I need to go through to heal myself, for myself and my kids....NOT FOR HIM!

Please advise if I am seeing this incorrectly...

May 26 - 2AM
jenn99 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

....

that's just what they do...they don't care abt your feelings toward any of the sick or mean things they've done...no compassion, no remorse...you need to cater to him otherwise you're the bad one...he seems to be projecting his own indiscretions onto you...blaming you for things he's done and just fault finding...if he 'tells you he's begging his gf back' it may not really be true...when i first met an N...one week he was telling me , I was the love of his life, he didnt know whether to tell people we were dating or not...so in love..the next week boom...he's talking abuot this other woman he's with who's at his apt...he's doing this for her..he made up letters, places she wanted to take his clients, huge extravagant stories...showed me pics of her..i was shocked...how can somenoe profess love one week and the next, talk of this woman's he's with?? he'd reject me to 'hang out with her'..make fun of me, say that eh went out of town with her and felt bad for me..all sorts of sick weird things...of course then he claimed he never had sex with her, she rejected him and he ended up stopping seeing her.. 2 years later, he claimed the woman never existed...and she was made up... all the letters he wrote with her name in the email addy...all sorts of odd things...didn't exist..claims he got her pics from the internet...I still think she existed...but as he said nothing occurred between them and, the letters were made up...still with an N u never know an can't take their word for nething...sometimes they'll say things just to piss you off, get a rise out of you, reactions, mentally torment you..some will go to great lengths to fabricate all sorts of odd stories..in this case it cud be true but...again its hard to know...but with an N.. it is only about their feelings and not yours...that's why cheating lying betraying is paramount...that's just how they are...and they will keep doing that to you..as long as you're in contact with them and it will only be this constant bs...confusion and mind games...
May 25 - 11PM
RenewD
RenewD's picture

Mallory

You are right on with how you feel and why what he is doing is wrong. I believe he is not "thinking" anything about "crapping on you". These guys are not capable of reasoning. They just do what they want and they think nothing of how it effects anyone ever. Only thing they think about is themselves and how they are feeling. This is why No Contact is so necessary. He will drive you absolutely crazy trying to figure out "how could he" and it doesn't stop. I don't think your situation allows you to completely cut him off. If not, then you need to at least limit any talking to him about the girlfriend. He actually told you he's taking the GF to meet his mom? All that is about is to take a dig at you. Don't have these conversations with him if you can at all help it. Cut him off as far as you can, and when you do have to talk to him, hang up as soon as he starts talking about the GF, self esteem, getting back together. Tell him you WILL NOT have any part of conversations that go in that direction, and if he tries to take the conversations there in spite of your warning that it is to stop, you need to hang up. Or delete and not respond... Look past all that talk the best you can. It's all a bunch of BS. Get mad, vent and get as far away from him as you can. He's a loser and he does NOT deserve you! ~Denise~
May 25 - 11PM
grossot
grossot's picture

i think

I'm no professional but I think u r seeing things in a very healthy way. He wants u to feel like the insane one. He cannot think that of himself even though its true so that feeling (insanity) has to go to someone or the poor narc wouldn't know what to do. And we certainly wouldn't want him to feel any pain he's caused or accept the consequenses of his actions like the rest of us f**king do! I'm praying that I can get to the place where I can laugh about things he tells me. "No one believes you". My poor daughter saying things like "I got a new bike but daddy put it at ____'s house so you can't c it". I havnt been allowed by him to b in my own house in 5 months! 4 year olds shpould not have to hear that stuff. Its amazing how much more clearly you can think when you're not under their constant spell. I still get in trouble for little things like her being being the rigght car seat when he drops her off. Even though the scale says she' 40 lbs and 41" tall like u should be for her new car seat I still second guess myself when he doesn't approve.....pathetic. Hang in you are feeling the right feelings. Nolongercontrolled

http://hubpages.com/hub/Married-to-a-Narcissist?preview

nolongercontrolled