Wow..... Time and NC really do heal

I'm on my lunch break at work and I've just had my appraisal.
My boss talked about my work and was complimentary and also gave me a hard word about my time sheets not always being submitted ( I always feel like mike off monsters inc when he tells me about these sheets)

Anyway, the appraisal was going well, I was not taking criticism personally and getting upset inside (as usual) , and I sat and listened and asked for more responsibility and talked about my accountancy exams and it all went ok. Then he started talking about my ex ( as the narc is a client of my boss) and also my boss is not very tactful , never had been about all this really. But for the first time I felt nothing... I didn't get that feeling in my stomach of wanting to be sick, my head didn't spin and I really felt nothing. I just said that I would prefer not to talk about him and he said " is it still painful " and pulled a kind of sympathetic face and I just said no, I just don't feel the need to talk about him anymore .

As an accountant I do jobs each year for the same people and whilst doing them this year I'm looking back at last year and the mistakes that had to be corrected and at how shocking my work became during and after the up and down life with the narc. It's amazing how I kept a job really!!! I remember not being able to concentrate properly and just sitting staring at my phone a lot wishing he would text and say it was all ok and he loved me.

The truth is that if they do Hoover as my freak did and say all this right things then its all a load of rubbish and the only way to heal is to stay away from these nutters forever.
The point of this post is to encourage people going through this journey..... The only one who can truly help you is yourself. Do the work properly and the journey will be shorter and believe me when I say that I never imagined feeling as free as I do today . Yes I have wobbles but not big ones and I have debt from the narc and don't have much money due to that and I sold my house coz he promised we would buy one together ( mmmmm with 50 grand secret debt.... Idiot) and now I rent a house cos I can't afford to buy yet but I'm free of him and his ridiculous abusive ways and his name doesn't make me shudder anymore.

Do the work and the peace will come. I didn't believe that at first but it's true.
Big hugs
Xxxx