Wow

8 posts / 0 new

#1 Dec 26 - 1AM

stives23

Well, after almost 2 months of no contact, after he threw me away again, I check my phone today and there's his number saying "Merry Christmas". I stood there in shock. I really thought it was over, and that I would never talk to him again. The nerve of him to text me after ignoring my calls and texts and not speaking for 2 months. He goes on to write that he's "sorry" for the way he treated me, and that I was a great girl and he wishes me the best. He also added in that he's "changed", but wasn't asking for me back, just wanted me to know that I was a great girl to him, and he doesn't know why he treated me so bad. Then he left it off with "you never know what will happen in the future" and to "take care". Then of course, me like a fool, I checked his facebook just to see why he would be texting me, and I see on his page he has a girlfriend. And what makes me so mad is that he knew me for a year and said he wasn't ready for a "girlfriend", and him and I have been apart for only 2 months, and not only is he seeing someone else, but she is his girlfriend.

I want to change my phone number, but I already have before, because of him, and my phone provider will only let me change it so often. And I feel ashamed that I don't have enough will power to not let his phone calls or text messages bother me. And I don't understand how I can give so much power to one person. I just got done reading a book about narcissist's and how they always claim they've "changed" to reel you back in. Then I think to myself, what if this girl had something I don't, and that's why he made a commitment to her? But then I tell myself, I'm an awesome, wonderful person, and there's nothing she has that I don't, and that eventually he will treat her like he did me.

It just hurts. I wish I had never met him. And I wish he never texted me, and would leave me alone forever. I just want the memory of him gone, and wish I knew why after 2 months of no contact, he decides to text me to tell me I'm a great person and he will "always be here for me". What a joke. He never was. Why can't he just let me go?

#2 Dec 27 - 3PM

baddream

You have the power to get past this

Your ex-Narc boyfriend has all the signs and is clearly a narcissist. Sounds like you were doing great with your NC, and he texts you as if he did nothing wrong. He knew the impact it was going to have on you. You can change your number, but what you must also do is get to the point where you understand what he is and be glad he is no longer in your life. Once you are there, the next time he tries to contact you, you can just blow the whole thing off. I know how much it hurts, as mine does the same thing, and has been doing it for YEARS. It has taken all this time for me to put it in perspective and realize this is a disordered person who was always trying to get something from me. That last line in your post you say he texts you "he will always be there for you".. What he REALLY means, is that he always wants YOU to be there for HIM. If you keep letting him get to you, you will be.. Don't feel ashamed about how you feel, you were victimized like all of us. As more time passes you will see how lucky you are to have escaped from him before he could do anymore harm.. Be happy!

#3 Dec 26 - 8PM

stives23

Changed my number

I decided to end all of this and change my number. Now I feel that I have a new beginning. He has no way of getting in contact with me, and I am on my way to a fresh start. Thank you all for your support and kind words.

#4 Dec 26 - 11AM

Carolyn

That isn't how he operates.

That isn't how he operates. He studies you like a chess master studies his opponent in a chess match. He moves one piece and expects you to take certain moves like checking out face book. He doesn't know you did anything why don't you just keep a low profile and let the Master play all by himself. You know the girlfriend will run or be discarded. His game never changes. She is clueless at least you know. People say there is some good that comes out of bad experiences I can't imagine any good coming out of knowing these narcissists. It is all a drama that causes terrible pain to their victims if they survive it. You have an emotional dependency on him that is what they create and just thank the heavens you aren't financially dependent on him or have children with him. You are going to do great next year. make a list of all of the things you want for the coming year. Decorate it with clip art, sayings, affirmatiions, glitter, art whatever. write down some bad things that happened to you this year on another paper. Just before midnight burn the bad and then while the new year is coming in read your paper for the good things coming. Read your paper everyday next year and then be surprised at how things come true. I wish you had never met him and that no more women can be harmed by him. that day will come also. They lose everything in the end. Happy New Year good things are coming for you. fun, and happiness, joy, prosperity, everything you deserve.

#5 Dec 26 - 8AM

agnesmurphy17

Wow!

I just reread your story. You know why he sent you a Merry Christmas text. As you mentioned in your story, he likes to have a fall back girl(s). Anyhow, after rereading your story, I'd agree with Barbara, try to change the number. This N is dangerous. Playing mind games to such an extent that you were suffering panic & anxiety attacks & feeling crazy while you were with him. No overt violence. (Yet? Who knows.) You are hurt by the text because you have normal feelings & it seems that this guy really touched something deep inside of you & he pursued you & pursued you . . . even when he knew you were involved with somebody for 4 years. Then he dropped you after 2 months! Of course you have feelings, you're a normal person. He's not. That's a game he was playing with you. Nothing he said was real. It's all a game, power, control, manipulation. This N is really evil. Stay away this time. Everytime you go back, it will get worse & worse & worse. He will have the same contempt for you as towards a dog who clings to the master that savagely beats it with a stick. Now, I know it's difficult, but try not to think about him. You are young. Go & do something fun today.

#6 Dec 26 - 2AM

Barbara (not verified)

worth a try....

you might be surprised how helpful your cell company will be when you tell them you got out of an ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP and your abuser is contacting you see if they will at least block his number(s) for you. ~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem Visit My Abuse Website

#7 Dec 26 - 9PM (Reply to #2)

TexN (not verified)

Phone company

Yes, Barbara is right. Just tell your phone company you are being harrassed & you really need your number changed. With all the competition out there, they really do want to keep their custmers happy. Remind them you've been a customer for such & such time. :)

#8 Dec 27 - 7PM (Reply to #3)

Amazed

Trust that you can lead a happy life without his pestering!!

Yes, take proactive steps so he will not continue to try to lure you in, break you down, and make you forget all the good work you have done to get beyond him and his abuse. It is a vicious cycle, you can break it. Erase his information, he is dangerous. You do not need to be in harms way, and with small steps that you have control over, you will be out of his influence. It is difficult, but know that this is precisely what you need to be happy, and grow!!

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