The worst three words from a Narc...I love you....

mine asked "is it too soon to say I'm falling in love with you?" about 3 weeks in, not the same thing as "I love you" and a total Narc trick to get me to lower my walls the next time he brought it up, I was dropping him at the airport and he said "I will say those words to you, and not when I'm inside you, either" (so classy) another time he said "I'm giving you my heart, it's yours to do with what you will" then he spoiled it by saying "I haven't told you that yet, have I?" which made me think he was checking off some list (and now I KNOW he was) the only time he ever said "I Love You" was the last night I talked to him, and later that night he had a "coughing tv" in the hotel room with him. So much for love, eh?

I get it and know exactly how you feel because I did the same thing. I don't throw those words around - they are precious to me and I back them up with actions. Narcs use those words to lure their next source of NS into feeling loved and secure. Then the giant sucking sound of them draining your heart and soul drowns them out, yet we keep hearing them in our heads and hearts. When we fail to see love in their actions, it is time to get out! The more we love ourselves, the more we heal. The more we know and understand narcissism, the less likely we are to attract such evil into our lives. The man was hollow, genuine love is not. We know better now. Be kind and loving to YOU.

"I love you. . . but only as a friend!" >.< Okay, F me every which way including sideways, but only love me as a "friend." Ugh. I've never had anyone say he loves me. I guess that's good. :/ I don't think I'd trust it if I heard it anyway.

I agree...those words always came with pain...this forum is such an eye-opener...wow!!!!

in the disordered one I was involved with world, "I love you" equalled pain. He was always saying "know that I love you" before disappearing and punishing me with the silent treatment. He was always saying "I love you" and then I'd have to chase him down to find out what was going on when he said he'd call me in the morning and didn't. Love = Pain in the disordered one's world. On the night before the D & D he left me a note on my counter that said "I love you" with hearts drawn all around it... yeah, he loves me so much it hurts. yeah, every time he proclaimed "I love you" I began to wince and flinch... It was only a couple of weeks ago that I had an experience and wrote in my journal that I am beginning to believe that love does not equal pain again...it will take years, though. The disordered one's gift that keeps on giving... WHATEVER. IT'S HISTORY NOW! Hugs and love and light to all who stop here...and ladies and gents, please let's avoid the drama that is brewing here... Love from (not) spinning. NO LONGER AN OPTION. THE BEAST IS DEAD. NEVER REALLY EXISTED IN THE FIRST PLACE.

It will be a very long time before I believe those words again, if ever...........my husband of 15 years told me every day and it meant nothing in the end. As Sharon Stone said once, "A woman can fake an orgasm, a man can fake an entire relationship" So very true.......

My N never told me he loved me to my face. He always said that he liked me alot. lol.. But, he texted "I Love U" twice. I never really told him that I loved him. I used to say that the loved making love to him. He would tense up and just act really strange. I always said this when we are making love. He told me later that its f&*#ing to him... So, the word "love" definitely makes him uneasy and nervious.