Will my hair grow back?

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#1 Feb 18 - 5AM
Janakita
Janakita's picture

Will my hair grow back?

Did anyone lose hair during or after the emotional stress of the IDD? Any miracle remedies to help it grow back?

I used to have thick, curly hair. During the latter part of my relationship with the N and the aftermath (for about 6 months), I lost quite a bit of hair every time I washed it. I was in residency during the first part of that time, and working 12-16hr shifts at the hospital. So I chalked the hair loss up to work, and just accepted it, knowing that I'd have to hang in there for 5 years before I could get fully licensed, and then pick a more humane schedule. The day after the N suddenly discarded me, he talked about "how his hair had turned gray and he had lost lots of sleep during the last two weeks over the pain of deciding to break up with me....how difficult a decision it was." From the time I took him back up until the discard, he was assuring me of his commitment, discussing plans with me about our future. Getting a job as an Economics professor in NC where I had started residency at my #1 choice or somewhere where I could transfer (I was willing to transfer if he got a better opportunity somewhere else). Moving in together. Then after the discard, he informed me that he never really saw me as a long term partner. So why did we have an 8 month relationship (3 months long distance at the end)? Because he wasn't 100% sure of his doubts until the day he broke up with me. Because he enjoyed it, because he took so much from me and I WAY exceeded his expectations. .

I made the mistake of telling him how hurt and stunned I felt, that my hair was not turing gray but it was falling out because all of this was so stressful. I then went on to speak of different things, but he kept interrupting saying, "Wait, I have to know, what's happened to your hair...TELL me, it was SO rich, how much have you lost?"

Luckily, I'm not losing any hair anymore, and I'm determined to grow it back. I'm not bald, but my scalp shows so much whenever I wash my hair and it's wet- it was never that thin before. I got it trimmed and even the hairdresser remarked, "wow, you don't have much hair!" I had blood tests, so I know I'm not anemic, and I'm taking multivitamins and Omega-3 supplements. I know it helps maintain healthy skin and hair (actually my doctor recommended it for depression- Omega-3 is the cure-all these days!)

If anyone has any other tips for regrowing luxurious locks, I will be eternally grateful.

Happy healing! xoxo

Sep 24 - 5AM
Very happy girl
Very happy girl's picture

Hair loss

Sep 23 - 3AM
Sickofhim
Sickofhim's picture

Me too

Sep 21 - 6AM
greenbean
greenbean's picture

Me too.

Sep 20 - 5AM
newchapter
newchapter's picture

A few suggestions...

Sep 19 - 9PM
Im_always_fine
Im_always_fine's picture

I have very thick naturally

Sep 20 - 1AM (Reply to #20)
Alissa
Alissa's picture

I'm always fine, how do you

Sep 20 - 6AM (Reply to #21)
Im_always_fine
Im_always_fine's picture

I just put a dob on my hand

Sep 20 - 10AM (Reply to #22)
Alissa
Alissa's picture

Im always fine

Sep 20 - 10AM (Reply to #23)
Im_always_fine
Im_always_fine's picture

No not like coconuts.

Sep 20 - 11PM (Reply to #24)
Alissa
Alissa's picture

LOL Thanks Im_always_fine!!!

Feb 21 - 3PM
peacelily76
peacelily76's picture

Hair loss

Hi, Really sorry to hear you have been losing your hair. It is quite frightening to lose hair all of a sudden and I do sympathise but you would be surprised how other people won't notice one bit, especially if you are clever with your hairstyle. I have had alopecia areata for most of my life which was triggered by my father's violence when I was 4. A fortnight after the episode, I apparently lost half my hair. Then nothing happened until I hit puberty. Since then my hair has regularly fallen out but ALWAYS after a stressful episode - job change, moving home, my father dying, narc... When I left my ex, I lost a huge amount of hair down either side of my head and most of the hair round the nape of my neck. It didn't grow back properly for months as my body processed the initial shock and anger as I realised more and more. Since then, I have had acupuncture which has helped considerably with levelling the cortisol levels in my blood which stress increases and I have taken a Vitamin B supplement which levels out the nervous system. In essence, stress hormones produce antibodies which attack the hair shaft and send the hair into what's called 'resting phase'. The hair usually renews itself and grows back, maybe lighter than the original shade for a while until it gains full strength again. It may be more wavy than before too. Mine can be. I got excited recently when one GP who had suffered early trauma did significant research into what he termed 'locked trauma' which can create physical manifestations of stress. He monitored people with known PTSD who showed physical symptoms of trauma, from hair loss, insomnia and anxiety attacks to severe chronic depression and catatonia and found that with specific forms of therapy, it was possible to unlock the body's trauma 'memory' and allow it to heal in a physical sense. It can take a long time though depending on how responsive an individual is. I wish I could remember the name of the guy...will have a look. Scientists are learning more and more about how the body's physical structure interacts with its 'memory' or 'survival record'. The body holds on to significant life events, possibly as a warning to us to not repeat those events? The body and brain also still react in a 'savannah' type way, i.e. our adrenalin and stress hormones still flood our body as if a leopard is chasing us as its next dinner. Whilst these hormones might make us run faster, they also make us lose our hair and leave us 'traumatised'! Not much fun hey? I would recommend acupuncture and Vitamin B and lots of good healthy cooking and sunshine. Get exercising to increase the levels of anti-stress hormones in your body too. I know it is just like a slap in the face to lose hair just when you want to look attractive and move on but your body is asking you to slow down a bit and let it heal. I hope this helps you and remember, nobody really notices hair loss. :-) xx
Feb 21 - 1AM
emtg
emtg's picture

Yup - hair fell out

Same thing, same story - I'm trying Mira Hair Oil - they sell it on the internet. I just bought it two weeks ago. I will let you know!
Feb 20 - 4AM
Janakita
Janakita's picture

Thank you for sharing ladies!

Just wrote down all of your great suggestions, and I can't wait to look them up and try them=) I really appreciate your encouragement SO much. It's especially wonderful to see your messages today. I woke up feeling defective and hopeless about my future, which was disappointing because I'd been doing better. Now I recognize one day of relapse as a signal to me to force myself out of bed to do the bare minimum to boost myself up- I don't want to sink back down to where I've been. Last November I left residency after the D&D and moved across the country to stay with my mother while searching for a job. Finding a psych research job was not easy (still don't have one) I stopped taking care of myself (no exercise, emotional eating and gaining weight, wearing my pjs all the time, hardly ever leaving the house) Once I understood about narcissistic abusers and how I had been vulnerable, I felt some relief, but pretty short-lived. I felt like, wow, I've figured him out, I learned so much. Too bad it's too late to apply it- I lost everything I had going for me, and I'm too emotionally damaged and cognitively slowed down to rise up and rebuild myself "on the more solid footing" my counselor's talking about. I didn't want to kill myself, but I didn't want to be awake and think about things, so I just gave up and slept a lot. And cried a lot. After 2 months of this, I was so miserable from spiraling downward that I decided to give myself one last chance. I started with one thing- eating better and running and zumba and step at the Y to get back in shape. Reconnecting with friends only a phone call away. Learning guitar, raking the leaves, decluttering the house, listening and singing to music (which I stopped after the N because it made me sad), singing, tutoring people in Spanish and chemistry to make some cash, volunteering at a school for Spanish speaking undocumented immigrant teens. Getting moving and doing things helps me build momentum, and purpose. I just need to force myself to get over the hump every morning. It's easier when I have a commitment to someone else to start the day...ideally someday I'll be excited to start the day for myself too =) Yesterday was great- my brother who's visiting from SF taught me how to do barre chords and strum new rhythms on the guitar, we went out with his friends and tried stinky tofu and thousand year old eggs at the Taiwanese restaurant, followed by Irish Coffee at the pub, lots of laughs, banagrams. Today started out not so hot, but seeing your messages and your experiences with struggling and succeeding was so uplifting. It pulled me out of bed, went for a run, enjoyed a homemade pizza dinner and watching "Louie Bluie" with my family. Warm hugs, Janaki
Feb 20 - 7AM (Reply to #16)
agnesmurphy17
agnesmurphy17's picture

Destruction

It always amazes me how these men can absolutely destroy the victim. And the N just moves on without a thought. Engorged & enriched. Your N is like my N. Successful, educated & accomplished. And I bet, just like my N, he can't be alone & he shares residences with women to subsidize his lifestyle. Two live cheaper than one, and he doesn't waste time seeking sexual partners-she's right there. Mine is a PhD & a tenured professor. After I left him, I got in touch with some of his ex-women. Each woman alone was left dazed & confused. But when we compared our stories & shared what he told us about each other -- and shared his e-mails to us -- it all became clear. He cannot be alone & he wants a woman to share his living expenses. And he needs a woman to abuse in his house. The he is freed up for his academic career & appearing normal in the department & at professional conferences. It's the mask of sanity. My career was set back by the stress of N & the decisions I made to accommodate our relationship. The woman who replaced me was fired from her job because she underperformed when he discarded her. Meanwhile, N is with yet another woman & he's doing just fine. And everytime my N ends a relationship, he is financially enriched & plunders her possessions. And he gets away with this. The women are so stunned, they do not call the police. They are such emotional & physical wrecks, they crawl away with their lives in shreds. (And he's the victim & gets sympathy from his new woman. I have no doubt your N is with another woman right now.) However, I know one woman has taken out a restraining order against my N.
Feb 19 - 7PM
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

Dont worry it will! It is

Dont worry it will! It is very common for a traumatic event and/or severe emotional stress to cause hair loss. Look uo telogen effulvium. I have lost hair as well. Luckily I have alot. Mine is due to Sebborherric Dermatitis which can be brought on my severe emotional stress. So not only have I lost hair but my scalp itches like mad and nothing helped steroid shots shampoos nothing! I think though I have finally cracked the code after doing much research. I believe that ph of my blood turned extremely acidic which can happen from poor diet any yes emotional stress. I have recently started drinking some natural remedies to alkalize the body. Yup you guessed it after 3 days it is finally going away. I have been suffering with this for months! Emotional stress wreaks all kinds of havoc on the body. Your skin is one of the first places it shows up on. Its a warning sign that your body is telling you something is off and out of balance. I have had hives, boils and sebborherric dermatitis. I never had any of this stuff before and my once beautiful head of hair is now completely damaged with split ends from all of the harsh shampoos I have used trying to clear this up. Im going to have to cut it but it will grow back. So will yours
Sep 19 - 9PM (Reply to #14)
Im_always_fine
Im_always_fine's picture

My scalp became sort of

Feb 19 - 8AM
nlvr7
nlvr7's picture

Omg me too, its not like ud

Omg me too, its not like ud look @ me.and say oh shes got thinning hair but ditto on t stress related hair loss from N and healthcare. My N during deval sent me a youtube vid of a seinfield ep. where george was like "shes bald" omg! diiiiiiiick....anywho I went to a derm and am getting imjections plus taking niacin and coc oil....phyto volume is a great product to make hair thicker also
Feb 18 - 4PM
Jar of hearts
Jar of hearts's picture

Try

Taking Kelp tablets ( seaweed) they are amazing for helping your hair ! Xx
Feb 18 - 10AM
janemarie
janemarie's picture

Mine thinned out quite a

Mine thinned out quite a bit..I too have long curly hair...I got it layers to lighten it a bit in hopes of preventing more from falling out and Ive been getting it trimmed more than usual so the ends dont look so shaggy as the new growth is growing back in...You should look into a thyroid test though...stress can also cause your thyroid level to go off...mine did.. Through blood work and the right medicine to help with levels...my hair is growing back...so between my trims and new growth Im thinking within a years time I will have my thick curly locks back!!!!
Feb 18 - 9AM
heritage
heritage's picture

Hair

Mine took a year to grow back. Still not as long as it was but it's getting there. I have been taking a hair regrowth supplement that works well. It is called Shen Min hair regrowth and you take take 1 pill twice daily. You can purchase it at a Vitamin store.
Feb 18 - 8AM
miranda
miranda's picture

hi, it sounds like a stress

hi, it sounds like a stress related alopecia type of thing, if you google it you would probably find lots of info and help, but i would think (guess) that when the stress is gone your hair will start to recover. stress can cause all kinds of physical ailments. ive had spots, dry itchy sore eyes, migrianes,every joint aching (feeling like an old woman getting out of a chair lol)stomach aches, feeling sick....the mind/body connection is so strong. i think its really important to take care of ourselves at this time, mentally and physically. eating well is especially important and something i bet none of us have been doing recently, i know i havent, until just recently. i am about 7 weeks no contact and only just starting to feel and look slightly human again. i`m sure your hair will improve in time :) just keep away from him and look after yourself, make yourself number one. (p.s. i find coconut oil really great for the hair, might help?)
Sep 21 - 6AM (Reply to #2)
Walkingonsunshine
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There is a product I used

Sep 21 - 10PM (Reply to #3)
Walkingonsunshine
Walkingonsunshine's picture

Just looked up the product

Sep 21 - 10PM (Reply to #4)
Walkingonsunshine
Walkingonsunshine's picture

Has anybody been doing the

Sep 21 - 10PM (Reply to #5)
Alissa
Alissa's picture

I haven't done the research

Sep 23 - 2PM (Reply to #6)
Walkingonsunshine
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Narcs screw up our sex

Sep 23 - 3PM (Reply to #7)
florence (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Ah yes, salic acid

Sep 23 - 7PM (Reply to #8)
Anari
Anari's picture

My hair has really receded