Why...why...why...seriously HELP!

11 posts / 0 new

#1 Jul 21 - 8PM

.brokenglass.

Why...why...why...seriously HELP!

So went to court & felt so bad because he didn't realize the charges & this is my child's daddy. So I can into Captain Save-a-Narc, pleading with anyone who will listen. Finally we speak after 3 wks, & as I look at him so upset & sincere when he says I want my family, I want u. Well we plea down & he comes to the house to see our kid. He cries, she cries, we all cry, so he comes home. I miss you, I'm sorry, I love you, this has forever changed my life..its always been u, u have always been mine. Everythings good, but by the end of the week now he has to go to jail, I say u have to talk & now he has too much on his mind, never thought u would call the police on me well I never thought u would hurt me. So now u r mad, & I'm selfish because I ask about us, well us was the discussion we had together when I was scared too death, had accepted we were over & told u I can't be hurt. What about the 3 months of daily being told I'm nothing and no one loves me...constant hurtful things said to the point I dropped 40 lbs, couldn't sleep, and I was turning that around but now what. Your back & our child is happy but sad u r going to jail, I felt it in my soul...its not real, but I let u in & now all the pain is back. Where did my strength go? How come its so hard to breathe? I understand going to jail can make u stress, but we all are affected. And you say to me why did I call the cops??not once, I understand u calling them, I could have really hurt you, but u acknowledge it could have been bad. You say its our fault, its your fault, but when u speak the anger is at me and it screams its my fault. What and how....now??

#2 Jul 22 - 12PM

strivingforhealing (not verified)

My heart is with you all day

Broken glass- I will be holding you in my heart and thoughts throughout the day- sending you love, healing energy and a true hope for a peaceful and joyful future for you and your girl. Big hugs to you, We are all here for you.

#3 Jul 22 - 12PM (Reply to #10)

.brokenglass.

Striving for healing...my exact feelings are

in your name. Thank you so much..I will take all the hugs I can get at this point, such a comfort found in kind words even if the smile lasts a second it is so worth it.

#4 Jul 22 - 12PM (Reply to #8)

BadaBing

so kind

this is such a wonderful and supportive comment striving! sending you BOTH big HUGS! i love this forum of people!!

#5 Jul 22 - 12PM (Reply to #9)

.brokenglass.

Bada

Thank you, this site is a blessing to me because I was just having a tear jerking moment & I sign on here and really feel the support & understanding...its just a GodSend...no other words for it.

#6 Jul 22 - 9AM

Hunter

Brokenglass

OMG! I hate this guy!!! He wins the narc of the week award. Do Not, I repeat Do Not fall for his BS! BS that's what it is, he's been backed into a corner and he's tears are his way of wiggling out of this. Do his ACTIONS match his words? You need to be strong and smarter than him! This is about protecting you and your child! Any decisions made need to be to better u and you child! Don't be manipulated by his tears! Let your action be strength, let your strength teach your child, let your responsibility and morals be an example to your child! He's nuts take him out of the picture! Jail is the best place for him! Hunter

#7 Jul 22 - 1PM (Reply to #5)

Hunter

This journey Sucks! I know

This journey Sucks! I know how you feel. When you know better you do better, you been fighting to stay with him now fight to get away from him! You can do it! I know you can! You must see a thearpist, you must! Your daughter may benefit as well! Please read, read, read, ! He's has you under his spell, you are addicted! A beginning, a middle and an end! Don't get stuck in the middle! He hurts you and that's not a good thing! His tears are for his benefit he knows you so he knows how to work it! Right now let you head do the work! Your heart needs a rest! Hugs Hunter

#8 Jul 22 - 4PM (Reply to #6)

.brokenglass.

Hunter knows...

How. U. Narcs. Take. Every. Reality ... Your name says it all. One day ill get there, thank u for caring enough to comment, I never did any forum b4 & was unsure how it worked, but the support, advice, & stories really help u see things differently!

#9 Jul 22 - 10AM (Reply to #4)

.brokenglass.

Thanks Hunter

I am really just a mess, I only learned about this disorder a little over a week ago, all the while dealing with the issues...confused & stressed beyond recogonition. I have never seen tears..He has never apologized..never admitting being wrong..just never..I cannot stand to see someone hurt & I am the type of person who does anything in my power to take and hold that pain for them. I know this is a process and I know I deserve to have my pain carried by someone else sometimes...just hard to to let go of almost 15 years. The NC worked good, but remember me saying I was so worried about seeing him because I melt...its funny how to say of if this happened or that happened I wouldn't walk away, shut off feelings, & we tell others what they should or need to do, but when we put our name in the same scenario.....it aint that easy. brokenglass....on the journey to unbreakable...and oh what a ride.

#10 Jul 22 - 7AM

Deidre40

what is your next step with

what is your next step with this? i'm sorry you've endured so much...and your child too. :=(

#11 Jul 22 - 11AM (Reply to #2)

.brokenglass.

D40

I wish I had an answer for that. I am a honest person, so I can't sit here & say what I will do or where to go from here because it would be a lie. I am just at the "LET GO AND LET GOD" stage. I believe with all my heart God has a plan for me, I was born to be important to someone special in his eyes. I believe there is good in all people and some just may never find it, but I have witnessed God grab a hold of someone's heart and flip their world and beat all the worldly demons..drugs, alcohol, violence..etc. away and He will not leave me. I sent my prayer to heaven and in a text to him before N checked in, not expecting anything in return...but received a small response that left a huge impression. I have told him, I am not willing to go back to feeling like I am worthless because I've finally found myself and I'm really lovin me :) I want so hard to believe in change, but I know man cannot do it alone. I may not have much but I have a daughter who loves me unconditionally, I have love in my heart & when I love, I love hard, and I have faith & hope to keep me going....and I still have intelligence to know what I deserve, just enforcing it is still a little difficult. The only step I know to do is fall to my knees & hand it over to hands that can carry my burdens. I will continue to pray for those who need comfort & support as much as me and pray for those who hurt me, that their heart be softened and God allowed to come in. Because I know he knows my future & would not give me anything I cannot handle or overcome. Thank you for your comment, I wish you well in your recovery from this evilness and pray God lay his hand on you as well.

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